Prince Fielder signs with the Detroit Tigers

Well here it is. The day we always knew would arrive has finally come and Prince Fielder is officially no longer a member of the Milwaukee Brewers. Some held out hope that the Brewers still had a chance and that the lack of big offers coming in early meant that he'd accept the Brewers original 5 year offer. It was a nice dream, but a dream that ultimately would never come to fruition. The Brewers made their pitch, Scott Boras didn't think it was good enough and that was that. We moved on, signed other guys and played the waiting game on Prince. We waited and waited and waited some more. We waited so long that we started saying things like "Maybe Prince will decide to be a free agent next year instead and come back on a 1-year deal!" We convinced ourselves that there wasn't an offer over 6 years out there and if that was all there was then we could match it, we could get Prince back! With Prince Fielder coming back the Brewers would be better than last year, heck, they'd be better than ever!

And then Prince Fielder signed a 9 year two-hundred-and-fourteen million dollar deal with Detroit.

I won't get too into the place where Prince Fielder decided to sign too much because who cares, but I will say this: it was about the money. It wasn't about playing first base because the Tigers already have a first baseman (who could move to thrid and be bad) and a catcher (who should probably move to first in the next couple years.) He'll be a DH in a year tops. It wasn't about winning (even though they are a lock for the AL Central for at least the next two years) because they are still in the AL and have to go through Boston and/or New York to get to the World Series. It wasn't about family because the chances of his family getting shot/hooked on drugs/turned out just went up about 5000%.

The reason Prince Fielder is a Detroit Tiger is because of the money and that's pretty much the only reason he is a Detroit Tiger. This isn't a bad thing. If someone is going to offer that to him he deserves it and he should take it. The Brewers certainly weren't going to (and thank god for that.) Good for you Prince. Get that money dog. I wish someone would pay me $214 dollars to write this site for the next nine years. I can't imagine what I'd do if you added six zeroes after that. That being said, Detroit? Really?

(While we're here how the hell does Detroit have the money to offer contracts like this? The population has dropped 25% in the last decade, the auto industry is a thing of the past and the city itself is going bankrupt. If I owned that team I'd be less concerned with Prince Fielder and more concerned with getting the hell out of Detroit.)

But enough about that, let's talk about Prince Fielder in Milwaukee. Read more...

Brew Year’s Resolutions

It's been more than two weeks, over a fortnight, since the world awoke to a new year. And though New Year's day is really just another day we're forced to trudge through in this harsh and unforgiving hellscape called "life", the beginning of the calendar can serve as the origin point for significant personal change and improvement.

In 2011, I started a business. I met my incredible now-girlfriend. Death From Above 1979 reunited, and I saw them in Chicago. The Packers won the Super Bowl and Brewers had an unforgettable season. Still, I look back on 2011 and I think it--for the most part--sucked maj dog-dick. Sure, it looked good, on paper, but I'm still a fish-lipped geek without heath insurance who's living in a shitty 2 BR upper on the Southside of Milwaukee. I have only 145 Twitter followers... almost all those are of the fake hot chick virus robot account variety. Almost every one of my major life goals remains unmet. Things could always be better. So it's nice to feel like the flipping of a calendar can bring change, usher in improvement and make room for personal growth... even though, you know, none of that stuff will probably happen.

The Brewers, too, enjoyed a decidedly good 2011. However, any season not ending in a World Series win is one to be improved upon. Obviously, the club aspires to win the World Series this year, even though the Alex Gonzalez signing seems to indicate otherwise (rim shot!). Beyond that, we can only speculate the resolutions of each individual Brewers player. And since signing Brooks Conrad and a lumpy ginger to minor league deals isn't exactly post worthy, speculate is exactly what I'll do. Here are your 2012 Brew Year's Resolutions.
Read more...

Meet the new Milwaukee Brewers infield!

I don't know about you guys, but I am already sick of all this Ryan Braun stuff. Just tell me if he's suspended or not and for how many games if so. That's all I care about. I don't care how or why or who gave him what, all I care is how it affects my watching him. Seriously. (Quick aside: If he does have the herp like everyone seems to think, you should all shut up about it. I guarantee the girl he got it from was worth every cold sore. If you get my drift. WINK NUDGE.) Let's just forget about it for awhile and talk about happier things. (Also, buy the shirt.)

The 2012 Milwaukee Brewers are going to look a lot different than the 2011 Milwaukee Brewers, but that doesn't mean they aren't going to still be freakin' awesome. I mean, let's just look at the 2012 infield. We lost/we're losing Prince Fielder, but overall the infield is going to be better than it was last year. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true! The Brewers are going to be better than they were last year without Prince. Believe that.

Let's meet the new and improved Milwaukee Brewers 2012 infield. Read more...

TMZ EXCLUSIVE: TMZ tries to get Matt Kemp to bury Ryan Braun and fails

TMZ.com, your #1 source for amateur photographers bothering famous people on the street and then making money off of it despite it's questionable at best legality, caught up with Matt Kemp at The Grove in LA this week and said something stupid about him getting the MVP award for Christmas. Matt Kemp handled it like a pro and dismissed the claims, adding that Ryan Braun was a "good dude" and his homie.

After failing at that the reporter interviewer random dude with a camera decides to bring up Barry Bonds (timely!) to see if Matt Kemp will say anything about him and again, he fails.

It should be noted that TMZ.com (Your #1 source for celebrity gossip! Check your local listings!) posts this video with the headline "Matt Kemp: Don't Call Ryan Braun A Cheater... Yet" despite, you know, Matt Kemp never saying that or anything close to that.

This is pretty stupid, but it shows how far this story has gone. Read more...

Peace, McGehee!

In 2009, Casey McGehee surprised Brewers fans when he revealed himself to be a not-entirely-shitty (and, at times, even good) guy at doing baseball while filling in for an injured Rickie Weeks and an OHMYGODSOTERRIBLE!!! Bill E. Hall at second and third base. He chased that partial season of partial OK-ness with a 23-home run, 104-RBI showing for the 2010 Ken Macha cyborg squad Brewers before shocking almost everyone in 2011 by reverting into the Casey McGehee we neither knew nor loved in 2008.

And now, with the ceremoniousness of an AHL All-Star Game, the tact of a sack tap, and the speed of a curry BM, Casey McGehee's tenure as a Brewer has concluded. It seemed like only yesterday he was a glaring hole in Milwaukee's lineup.

As easy as it is for us Brewer fans (and, evidently, Doug Melvin) to be rid of Casey in favor of two-time All-Star slugger Aramis Ramirez to play third instead, the times weren't all bad.

There were those times we all incorrectly pronounced his last name for a while. How young and foolish we all were! His imperfect physique combined with his absence of good looks and try-hard white guy tendencies allowed us (also lumpy, hideous and predominately crackers ourselves) to dream of one day being penciled in a default third baseman for a mid-market franchise operating under tight fiscal constraints. Remember that day game in August when McGehee hosted his belated 2011 coming out party (and immediate going back in party) when he smacked around Edwin Jackson to the tune of three homers... almost a quarter of his season total? That was kind of cool. I mean, yeah, I was at work when it happened. But I'm aware it occurred.

McGehee leaves the Brewers for Pittsburgh in much different fashion than when he came to town. Of his 407 career hits, 403 came with a barley sprig on his jersey. Each of his 52 home runs and 1 (HA!) stolen base was tallied when he was a Brewers employee. The club even saw reason to reward McGehee with his own bobble head last season, though, in fairness, it was probably just part of the ongoing practical joke the organization is playing on Yovani Gallardo. Though a less-than-ideal situation for McGehee, he'll likely see regular ABs and have a chance to be a fan favorite in a great city. Plus, he can (and, let's face it, probably will) eat at Primanti Bros. every day.

The way I'll remember Casey McGehee is as the player moved to make space for an exciting free agent acquisition; a player traded to give the Crew a return of Jose Veras, an affordable, dependable and much-needed relief pitcher; a necessary casualty of a team looking to keep its brief competitive window ajar as much as and for as long as it can. So farewell, Casey. You were pretty OK... or whatever.