FSN-Wisconsin announced it's 2009 Brewers schedule today and conspicuous by his absence was Jeff Cirillo. In his place it seems is Telly Hughes.
Former Brewers first base coach Davey Nelson will provide analysis during Brewers Live before and after the game along with host Craig Coshun and Fox Sports Wisconsin newcomer Telly Hughes.
The question is, who is Telly Hughes? Telly is a former FSN North Reporter. Which means we have stolen someone from our hated AL rivals, the Twins. Talk about interleague intrigue! Not only that, but Telly is a blogger and not a very good one. Here's Telly on the 2007 All-Star game:
Tony made an elementary effort of defending himself by saying he was saving Albert for extra innings. As you can see, the National League never made it there. There is no justification for the 2005 N.L. M.V.P. to be available, in that kind of situation and his own manager doesn't use him. Not cool Tony, not cool.
Not good Telly, not good.
He's not being paid to be a blogger though, he's being bad for hard hitting pre and post-game analysis. Looking around the internet I've found that some Twins fans think he is borderline retarded and not only useless, but terrible at being useless. Just because he didn't understand what his own team's peanut-free promotion meant. I wonder if he was disappointed when he found out FSN was a drug-free workzone despite the lack of free marijuana. On facebook he has two fanclubs (Telly Hughes fanclub and the official Telly Hughes fan club) as well as the "fire telly hughes he's a dumbass" group. The good news is we can count on him for hard hitting questions in his post-game interviews.
As you can tell he's good at asking the tough questions, the questions fans demand answers to like "How did that feel?" and "Did that feel good?" Not only that, but his scouting is spot on. In an important game last summer against the White Sox, Hughes proudly pronounced that there was "no one" the Twins would rather have on the mound in the Dome than Livan Hernandez (his 9 hits and 5 Run, 4 inning outing was clearly an outlier). Jeff who, am I right?
None of this really matters to us, true Brewers fans though. We only want one thing from our pre and post-game analysts. The ability to rap, preferably rap poorly over a Tone Loc beat about St. Louis sports.
I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure I'm still hung over from the weekend. That's okay though, nothing a beer in the shower can't fix (I'm only kidding (sort of). Today is a pretty big day for me because it's the first day season ticket holders get to buy extra tickets to games! I really shouldn't be this excited to spend a few hundred dollars on things that I won't get to use for a few months now, but what can I say I love going to that place.
In case you're like me and drop off the face of the Earth on the weekends, here's what you missed.
- Corey Provus is Bob Uecker's new partner: Previous experience includes the 5th inning for the Cubs, Alabama-Birmingham football, basketball and baseball games. So, you know he's qualified.
- Whitest teeth on the team to miss four to six weeks, says two: Seriously, have you seen Bill Hall's teeth? His teeth are so white they should be named Hunter.
- Corey Hart takes the Brewers to court: I'm on the team's side here. An OPS+ of 16 during the final month of the season in a playoff race and a .231 BA with O XBH does not deserve that big of a raise. It is unknown if Judge Judy will handle the case.
- Brew Crew Ball take on lineup construction: Ideal lineup has Prince leading off, followed by Ryan Braun batting 2nd through 8th.
- There is something wrong with Derek Jeter's shorts: And my eyes. My poor eyes!
- Umpires still blind, not as stupid: Reading braile has always seemed like it would be really hard.
- Introducting A-Rod* Stadium* at* The* University* of* Miami*: The asterisks on the "at", "the" and "of" are just in case. You never know these days.
- Cubs fans pretend they know how to drink: Not mentioned in the article is the fact it took them 81 games to amass that many beer cups.
- Unbelievable story out of spring training: Fundamentals? We're talking about fundamentals? FUNDAMENTALS!
I've got about a half hour until tickets go on sale, so I have to run off and prepare. These links should keep you occupied for awhile. We should be back later, so stay tuned.
Anyone whose ever been to a Brewers game knows that for some reason girls look about 10x hotter than they normally do when they're at a game in Brewers gear. Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it's our secret desire to make love to Corey Hart (doubt it) or maybe there is just something magical about Miller Park that turns every 4 into an 8. We don't know, but we love them and celebrate them here. We won't have pictures every day, but whenever we find one we'll post it.
Ignore the dude on the right.
Got a Brewers Babe of the Now? Send your pics or links to us.
HOW many of these people are Brewers fans? 75%? 80%? 90%? All of them?
Thanks to everyone for checking us out for the first time this week. We're still working a few kinks out, but suffice to say we are really enjoying this blogging about the Brewers thing. Updates will be sparse this weekend as like every other person in Wisconsin we'll be out doing things like eating fish fry, drinking and trying not to fall through what's left of the ice. Have fun out there.
The Brewers recently released their 2009 promotional schedule and it features a whopping SIX bobbleheads. Perhaps more noteworthy is the fact that they are all white.
- May 3 - Ryan "Token Jew" Braun
- May 31 - Trevor "You Bring the Cross, I'll Bring the Matches" Hoffman
- Jun 28 - Jason KKKendall
- Aug 30 - "The Grand Wizard" Jeff Suppan
- Jul 26 - "Klatwurst" Bratwurst
- Sep 20 - Doug "Bombed a church in Alabama in the 60s" Melvin
I don't necessarily have a problem with any of the selections, except for the ones that I do. If we're basing this off of last year, how does Jason Kendall(OPS+ 72) get one before Mike Cameron (OPS+ 110)? Could it be because he misplayed that ball in the playoffs? If that's the case, then why would Jeff Suppan get one? Jeff Suppan of 5 runs allowed in three innings fame of the deciding game fame. This spot should have gone to CC Sabathia, Yankee or not. After all he did last season I think most fans would have been happy to have him on their shelves. While we're giving people who aren't with the team bobbleheads, lets give Jack Z one before we give Doug Melvin one. He's the one who drafted the nucleus. Finally, I question the placing of Hoffman on the bobblehead list. They didn't do that for Eric Gagne last year (thank god), just imagine if this turns out similiarly (which isn't as far of a stretch as I'd like it to be). The bridge will be covered in smashed Hoffman heads.
Regardless, it's not like these things MATTER. It's not like who gets a bobblehead is inherently important to the success of the team and it's definitely not like the team purposefully went through and picked out every white guy they could find. If that was the case every fifth Sunday would be extra large, extra white Craig Counsell bobblehead day complete with white hood and pitchfork. Admittedly, the team would break four million in ticket sales if they did that but the point is they DIDN'T do that.