Archive for March, 2009

i think ur stupid neways

Baseball March 27th, 2009

cell-phone-textingRecently, I realized that no matter how hard I try I just can't find myself attracted to a girl who doesn't know how to spell or type. She could be the most attractive girl in the world, but with every "neways", misused their/they're/there and bcuz she would lose me. The thing is, I don't know how to talk about this without coming off like a dick. I want these girls to still like me, but I need them to understand that this is no way to be living their life and if they continue to live their life in this way they are going to lose me forever. There needs to be some sort of intervention for this sort of thing, a reachout program. I would go so far as to say it should be added to the ciriculum in schools. If measures aren't taken to prevent this sort of thing, I may never get laid.

Now, what does this have to do with the Brewers? A lot actually, as Brewed Sports points out top Brewers prospect Brett Lawrie has a blog and in his first post he drifts off into "text speak".

The wbc experience was great tho my role was as the bottom guy on the totem pole.

We r in the middle of minor league training camp. Every day is similar. Am playing second, not catching.

In the grand scheme of crappy writing, these are rather low on the radar but left unchecked this could turn into a serious problem. His writing will get worse and worse to the point that he opens up a twitter account.

"2 for 3 vs loons. woot! jus watched carlos mencia live. to hilarious!!!"

I just don't want to see that happen. I know Brett is Canadian, but I still think there is hope for him. So, Brett if you're reading this right now here is what I'm talking aboot. Spell the whole word and remember that the shift key is your friend. I don't know how they do things at Degrassi, but you're in the big leagues now. You should write like a big leaguer. If you can do that, you're set. We love you.

If you can't? I'm sure the Journal Sentinel could use another beat writer.

Let’s sponsor everything

Miller Park March 27th, 2009

Mark A

Mark A's new look

With the news coming down that the spot where Bernie lands after a homerun now being sponsored by Kalahari Resorts and the team itself now being presented by Potawatomi Bingo, it's only a matter of time before every single thing in the park is sponsored by something. Frankly, I am all for this. More money for the team is a good thing and it doesn't really matter to me who these sponsors are. The place is called Miller Park and I end up with Anheuser Busch products most of the time. Who cares right? The team should be actively seeking these partnerships and I've got some ideas for a few more ways to monetize your trip to the ballpark.

Roundy's Presents Right Field: When I say monetize everything, I mean monetize EVERYTHING.

Klement's Sausage Haus Presented by Klement's Sausage: Double sponsorship!

Visitor's Dugout Presented by The Fluid Lounge: Who better to sponsor our friends from out of town than the place "Where Friends Meet Friends"?

LaCage's Visitor Bullpen: Honestly, I just spent way too much time looking at Milwaukee gay bars. (Where are the clever names Milwaukee gay bars? Where's the Meat Locker? Where's the Male Box? "This Is It", that's seriously the best you could come up with?)

Second Base Presented By ShamWow: Potential drawback? Made in Germany.

Bob Uecker's Broadcast Booth Presented by The Tool Shed: I can clearly picture Bob saying this followed by "The Tool Shed for all your perverted needs."

Bud Selig's All Star Balloting: A good way for the former owner to give back to the team that in no way implies any wrongdoing on his part for the 2002 All Star Game or the bastardization of the game thanks to his "This Time It Counts" rules.

Cardiothorarcic Surgery Group Presents The Cycle: Might as well get some solid leads.

Section 201 Presented by the smell of piss and old beer: Has this ever happened to anyone else? More than once last season I ended up moving because the smell was so bad.

Got any sponsorship ideas? Leave them in the comments.

Who is Miller Park Drunk? Not this guy

Fans March 26th, 2009

Remember when the blogosphere was on fire when that one guy admitted who he was and got fired from his job? That killed me for some reason. Unfortunately, something like that will never happen here. I don't really care who knows who I am and it's not like I could get fired for anything I do here. Still, call me whatever you like but I always find it funny when people get in trouble at work for stuff that is on the internet. Like this guy who according to the comments is a gym teacher. Did he get in trouble for this?

I think the lack of sound is for our benefit. As for his job? Somehow, I think he was alright. That's probably the principal he's with.

The JS hilarity continues

Baseball March 26th, 2009

The A-Dub chat the other day speaks for itself, but this latest from Tom H has me seriously scratching my head.

You-know-who loves to provide links and quote blogs and other internet sites to ostensibly support his madness. Why do you think he didn't pass this one along to you folks? Isn't it interesting that he ignored this "source?"

And I'll pass along this bit of information that was not included in the story to which I linked. Melvin was so upset about the baseless Peavy rumors that he called San Diego general manager Kevin Towers to let him know that the rumors weren't coming from the Brewers' end. I know that for a fact.

So, if the Brewers and Padres actually had been talking about Peavy, why would Melvin call Towers to make sure Towers knew that the baseless rumers weren't coming from Melvin?

And, this time I absolutely promise, on a stack of bibles, that this is my last word on the Peavy rumors. Between myself and you-know-who, only one person is right. And I think the rest of you know who that is.

I have almost 200 blogs on my Google Reader and I have no idea who "you-know-who" is. Reading the comments I think that he might be talking about one of the commenters, cauleys. Which is so beyond ridiculous that I wish it wasn't true. Do you really think Doug Melvin is bothered by a commenter, really?

The JS is a million dollar operation. Between the cheapshots, name calling and now dedicating posts to rogue commenters it's getting to be kind of embarassing. To quote a story from the future where the team is struggling "Where is the accountability?" There are thousands of people who would take these idiots jobs in a second and whoever their boss is needs to realize this. These guys are not irreplacable and even if they have incriminating photos of you, whatever blog they write for in the future will be so bad nobody is going to see them anyways.

This year’s Kapler Trots off into the sunset

Baseball March 25th, 2009

Trot NixonI have to say that this comes as a bit of surprise to me, but Trot Nixon was released today. Trot's a player I have always liked for some reason and I would have liked to see him make the team. Unfortunately, Ken Macha stabbed him in the back.

"He came to me and he said that he had known me for a long time but that things were a little different between he and I in Spring Training here," Macha said. "But I said to him, 'No. 1, I am trying to get to know 56 different people here. The other thing is I wanted you to come in here and earn this spot yourself.'

"I consider Trot a friend and I'm proud of his career. I know his father and his wife, and if he does get on to play, I wish him well. If he doesn't, I told him it's equally difficult for everyone. When you love the game as much as he does, and as I did, it's tough to call it quits. I hope he catches on and gets to play this year."

This is just like when Billy had to release his hero in Little Big League.

Ken Macha

"How do you think I feel? You're my favorite ballplayer of all time! My friend Joey offered me a Wade Boggs and a Sammy Sosa card for you and I wouldn't do it."

Trot Nixon

"Is that supposed to make me feel better!?"