20
Apr 09

Breaking News: Suppan no longer worst pitcher ever

Chien Ming Wang sucksWith Jeff Suppan throwing 6 innings and giving up only 2 runs on 8 hits and a walk and Chien-Ming Wang giving up 8 runs in 1.1 IP, Jeff Suppan is no longer the worst pitcher in baseball. When reached for quote Jeff Suppan said ā€œIā€™m a human being. Nobody feels worse than I do when I pitch horribly,ā€ he went on to say that nothing makes him feel better than when another pitcher, in this case Wang, manages to pitch worse. When asked if he knew if Wang would pitch that horribly, thus supplanting him as the worst starting pitcher in baseball Suppan said "That was one of my plans."

Wang was unable to be reached for a quote.


17
Apr 09

You know what? Screw that dude

Forrest GumpThe more I think about that guy, the more pissed off I am. Like, really pissed off. He's making me, as a Brewers fan, look bad. He's making this site look bad because like it or not this is the home for drunken Brewers fans, even the douche-y ones. (It goes like this: drunk fans/Miller Park Drunk, smart sabermetric inclined fans/Brew Crew Ball, older Republican fans/Al's Ramblings, Mentally challenged fans/JSOnline.) Make no mistake about it, this guy is one of the douche-y ones. He might be in the Brewers fan Hall of Douche next to Favre jersey guy. Listen, I am all for a good prank. I am all for fucking with Cubs fans. The thing is I am more the kind of guys who says "Hey, Cubs fan. They are giving away free Captain Morgan in section 227" and watching them run like someone threw apples at Forrest Gump. In fact, "my balls" and "other people" has never really been something I was interested in. I hate the flying squirrel, the goat, the bat wing, all of that. It's just not my style and while this dude's friends may have thought it was funny at the time, I can guaran-damn-tee you that about 15 seconds later they realized there was nowhere for their buddy to wash his hands. Then about 2 minutes after that they forgot all about his lack of hand washing and went back to giving him high fives. So, now this dbag is not only spreading his ball sweat amongst Cubs fans he is spreading it among his friends who are then spreading it throughout the stadium as they give high fives to strangers after a Corey Hart home run. Basically, I was at Opening Day and touched this guy's balls. The guy is wearing an old school jersey with a new logo hat, he obviously doesn't have the presence of mind to wash his freaking hands. Do I look like I want to touch his balls? In the original post I was less concerned with showing the video than letting my readers know that this idiot was not me. Clearly, I want nothing to do with the guy's balls.

The thing is, Cubs fan have enough problems at Miller Park. They have to wait in short lines to go to the bathroom, they can't chant "____ field sucks" at eachother, they can actually park at the stadium, it's harder to hit and/or molest girls in the bleachers, they can't drink Old Style and perhaps worst of all, most of their seats aren't obstructed. They don't need someone giving them a ball sweat handshake. More importantly, neither do we.


17
Apr 09

Just so we’re all clear, this is not me

My love for Rickie Weeks is well documented here on this site and I even made an update after Opening Day that I was wearing my Rickie Weeks jersey with pride. That being said, this person is not me. I am not the kind of guy who rubs his crotch and then shakes hands with Cubs fans. You could get some serious germs from shaking hands with those guys.

Other signs it's not me:

  • Mixed old and new logo!
  • I don't own a pair of jeans.
  • Come on, seriously.

[TotalProSports]


16
Apr 09

Facebook Contest

We launched this site in early February as a little something fun to do while putting off productivity. Since then we have had over 5,750 pass through the doors in just over two months and the readership continues to grow. This is obviously beyond our wildest expectations for whatever this site could be and we thank everyone for your support. As a way to give back to our readers we are going to be giving away two tickets to the Wednesday May 13 game against the Florida Marlins. These won't be Terrace Reserved tickets, they will be actual good seats. The drawing will be completely random and is open to the first 250 people who become a fan of Miller Park Drunk on facebook. Depending on the turnout we may add a second prize after 250, but for now we'll leave it at this. There is no catch here, just us giving back to our readership. The drawing will take place on May 1 where we will announce the winner in enough time to mail your tickets. Maybe the winner will even get to have a drink with us at the game.

So, like, become a fan already.

(If this game is not good for you or you live outside of Wisconsin we can work something else out, but you have to win before we get to all that.)

UPDATE: Forgot to mention that we are now on Twitter. Do us a favor and promote this contest by tweeting "@MillerParkDrunk Just entered Miller Park Drunk's ticket giveaway http://tinyurl.com/dba27a for 2 free GOOD seats" and follow us.


16
Apr 09

I <3 Mike Cameron

Mike CameronA good friend of mine hates Mike Cameron. I mean, HATES. He's one of these people that thinks strikeouts somehow count for more outs than any other out. I am not one of these people. I love people who are above average defensively, hit home runs and steal bases. I don't care if they strikeout as long as when they make contact it counts. Maybe this is from years of playing fantasy baseball, maybe it's because I like a little pain with my pleasure. Either way, I love Mike Cameron. After Rickie Weeks he's my favorite player on the team (I have issues.) Obviously I LOVED yesterday's game where he went 3-3 with 3 RBIs, two HRs, 3 Runs and a walk. (Of course, I don't really understand why he couldn't do this at the four games I went to (you'd think he'd want to impress his biggest fan), but I digress.) Mike Cameron playing like this at the beginning of the season where he has struggled throughout his career is something to get excited about. I can't believe the team ever seriously considered trading him for Melky Cabrera. Sure, it was a pure salary dump but do you realize that Cabrera is just a backup now (and before Nady got hurt the 2nd backup)? Mike Cameron is one of the top 5 Center fielders in the National League. That'd be like trading Alex P. Keaton for Skippy. Skippy isn't taking you to the playoffs. Or the homecoming dance. I don't know about you, but I want the Wolf.

Think about this in tailgating terms. You've got the whole set up. You start with the most important thing which is the beer (Ryan Braun), then you have the bags (Prince Fielder), the food (JJ Hardy and Corey Hart), your friends (Yovani, Weeks, Hall) and the close proximity to the port-o-potty (the bullpen, whoever I forgot). You are all set up for a good day at the park. You can have a good time with just these things, right? Of course, but isn't your day a lot better if someone brought chairs (Mike Cameron)? That's what Mike Cameron brings to the table. You don't necessarily need him, but you are a lot better off with him and at the end of the day a lot happier too.

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