13
Apr 09

I hate this

Dog on crackI have been to the first three games of the season at Miller Park. This is awesome. I've never been to a three game series before and despite the results I had a really good time. I should be happy. I should be satisfied, but the truth is I am not. I have tickets for tomorrow and I was just looking at tickets for today. I know that going to Miller Park FIVE DAYS IN A ROW, but here's the thing: Stubhub has bleacher seats for $5. And Field Outfield Box for $20. It's like I just quit smoking crack and then they decided to discount it and make it legal. I almost have to smoke it.


12
Apr 09

A quick word about tonight’s game

I just got home from tonight's game (I actually went to all three this weekend) and had one quick thought about tonight's game. I don't want to talk about Soup or my boyfriend Rickie, I just want to say one thing.

If Milton Bradley doesn't get hurt, Prince Fielder hits a grand slam and we have a completely different baseball game. Reed Johnson won this game for the Cubs, hands down. Why didn't Piniella move Fukudome to RF and have Reed play CF, a preferable defensive alignment, when he came in? Dumb luck. Not only was it dumb luck, it's a perfect example of Reed Johnson making Piniella look like a genius (instead of the three pitchers in one inning, two days in a row at the beginning of April guy he is).

The score says 8-5 and it counts as a loss, but watching the game and seeing the things that happened give me no reason to worry.

Except for Suppan, what is up with him?


11
Apr 09

Today my purchase of Rickie Weeks’ jersey doesn’t look so bad

Rickie Weeks


10
Apr 09

Miller Park Drunk 2009 Opening Day Official Soundtrack

  1. Gonna Fly Now (Theme from Rocky)
  2. Real American (Hulk Hogan's 80's WWF music)
  3. Huey Lewis & The News - Power of Love
  4. Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch - Good Vibrations
  5. Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name
  6. Joe Esposito - You're The Best (Karate Kid song)
  7. Go-Go's - We Got The Beat
  8. Bel Biv Devoe - Poison
  9. Baby Bash ft/T-Pain - Cyclone
  10. Michael Jackson - P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)
  11. Flo-Rida - In the Ayer
  12. Chicago - Saturday in the Park
  13. Thomas Dolby - She Blinded Me With Science

09
Apr 09

Your final Guide

brewers beer bongSo, here we are. Opening Day. 2009. I think it was the 10th of April. It's pretty hard to mess this day up. Sure, there's a game tonight but that doesn't really matter because tomorrow is Opening Day. Our first chance to smell the smells and drink the beers in the world's greatest outdoor party, Miller Park Opening Day. Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me. I don't want to get laid, I don't want to get rich, I don't want to see Bruce Springsteen, I just want to go to Miller Park and have a good time. That's me, that's my journey and tomorrow I am going to get my wish.

We are going all out this year. Tailgate grill, rolling 10 deep, plenty of beer and for the first time in my life I got my tickets for face value (20 game package, what what). I am stocking everyone with cameras and we are going to do our best to make a short film for the site (we'll see how that works out.) I'll be at the game tomorrow and Saturday, so don't expect many updates. Until then here is a few last minute tips:

  • When listening to music, listen to whatever the hell you like, but do your very best not to include any songs that have lyrics along the lines of "tell me how my dick tastes". I don't want to hear all that.
  • No Zubaz.
  • If you see me and I have run out of beer, give me some beer. Give me some beer even if I do have some actually. It's the least you can do. I'll be in section 127 row 7 seats 1 and 2.
  • If you are going to taunt someone, make sure you know who they are. For example tomorrow's starter is Rich Harden. Rich Harden is a former Oakland A and is known throughout his career to be injury prone. Suggested taunts: "Mark Ellis said he misses showering with you" and "Try not to hurt yourself" (BURN!)
  • Pregame if you run out of beer, don't try to go into one of those tents. Those guys are some real beer nazis.
  • No Zubaz.
  • To all you Catholics, I was just talking to God last night and he said if you eat a brat you will still go to Heaven. Unless you're an asshole then you are still going to hell. Or a Cubs fan.
  • Speaking of Cubs fans, play nice but don't be afraid to tell them to shut the hell up and sit down. The only Geo I want people yelling about is the 92 Geo Metro that is on fire in the parking lot.
  • No gloves.

Hey, did I mention no Zubaz? Seriously, NO ZUBAZ.

Have fun and we'll be back Monday with tales of debauchery and drunken baseball related fun. Don't be afraid to send your own stories either.