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/steps off the plane in Minnesota |
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WOAH |
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WOAH |
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WOAH |
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Where the F are we? |
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The itinerary says "Minn-ass-atah". |
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Where is that, freakin' Japan? |
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No, "Minn-AH-So-Tah". You know, 'Discover Minnesota' like in the commercials they show during our games. |
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You watch TV during our games? |
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You don't? |
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LOL |
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LOL |
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Whoa, what's the deal with all these white people? I feel like the Jackie Robinson of Minnesota tourism. |
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Yeah and did you notice how things are sort of "blue collar" here? |
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And there is a surprising amount of overweight people? |
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Talk about a bizarro world. |
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Yeah and did you see all these purple jerseys? It's almost like the people who live here care more about their NFL team than their baseball team. |
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DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO |
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And what is the deal with all these lakes? It's like every time you turn around, there's another lake. |
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The road is long with many a winding turn. He ain't heavy, he's my brother. |
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/high five |
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If I can be serious for a moment, I bet some of the population says things like "yah hey dare" and "doncha know?" |
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I bet the people here hate the Chicago Bears. |
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I bet in the winter time it is easier to find fresh venison than a good plate of caviar and that it's always easier to find a good microbrew than a nice bottle of wine. |
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I bet the amount of liberals and conservatives is evenly distributed, but for some reason most of the liberals live in a specific area of the state. |
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I bet the fall is beautiful, the winters too long and the summers too short. |
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Seriously Ken, this place is freaking me out. I'm a hitting coach, get me out of here! |
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Yeah, it's nothing like Wisconsin. We need to hightail it out. Screw our record, this is about SURVIVAL. |
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Don't worry guys, I'll take care of everything. |
Monthly Archives: May 2009
Memorial Day
I'm off for the long Memorial Day weekend. A little too much going on around these parts. Here's my advice for what to do this weekend: party. And drink.
That is all. Go Brewers.
Brewers flow charts
The Brewers are 13-4 in May and have a three game lead in the National League Central. The next two games are against the Astros. The Happy Youngster deleted his blog. Thanks to links from Deadspin we have had record hits this month. Life is pretty good around here right now. So let's have some fun with flow charts.
After this post I will consume a bottle of pills
Here is a list of our tweets yesterday:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i need a drink. put me on suicide watch, weeks is don for the year
Here's some tweets I received:
SconnieGirl808@WisconsinTeams @millerparkdrunk - Wait. What?! WTF is happening???
thegnc@millerparkdrunk Oh for fucks sake. Link please.
thischarmingham@millerparkdrunk god just loves pissing in week's cheerios
Rickie Weeks is now out for the season. The recovery time on his injury is 4-6 months meaning that even in a best case scenario he won't be back for the playoffs. If there are a playoffs. One of my best friends claims that this is the best thing to ever happen to the Brewers. My friend is an idiot. Outside of the golden trio of Braun/Fielder/Gallardo, Weeks is the last person this team wanted to get hurt. Hart, Hardy and Hall are all replaceable. There isn't a single player on this team that can take his place at leadoff. Counsell is better at defense and matches his eye, but the power/speed combo isn't there. You can lead off Corey Hart, but you lose some OBP (perhaps a lot of it). You can lead off Kendall, but you lose every single thing Weeks does well and gain nothing except whiteness and metal knowledge. You can lead off... that's about it actually. Does a team need a true leadoff hitter to win it all? Not at all, but it certainly helps and it certainly hurts to have one and lose him.
Unfortunately, this isn't Baseball Mogul (which is probably a good thing because Baseball Mogul HATES the Brewers for some reason) and you can't just move Hardy to second and call up Escobar to play SS. You have to work with what you have and deal with players feelings. Hardy doesn't want to move and if he doesn't want to, you probably can't make him. Then even if you could do that, who knows if it would even work? It's not like Escobar is hitting in AAA. Weeks is gone and as of right now the best replacement for him is a Counsell/McGehee platoon. Call it whatever you want, but this is not a good thing. It's bad. Bad for the team. Bad for Rickie. Bad for me.
I am emotionally invested in Rickie Weeks. I saw him play in Double A. I watched his debut. I tracked his career. I've had him on fantasy teams. Most of all, I believed in him when no one else did. I knew the talent he had and I knew that if he ever figured it out, he'd be a pretty damn good second baseman. Guess what? He figured it out. This was the season that he became a pretty damn good second baseman and now it's over. Will he be good next year? He should be and I can't wait to bust out my Weeks jersey on Opening Day 2010, but it's still 2009. The race is too close to call and losing Rickie Weeks for the season hurts this team more than any of the other NL Central contenders have been hurt thus far.
The Brewers are a great team, but without Rickie? We'll see.
Now if you'll excuse me I am going to induce a seizure and swallow my own tongue.
Boy let me tell you what
Ryan Franklin, pitcher, St. Louis Cardinals
I tell you what, I done been in this here Major Leagues for a long time and if there is one thing I can't stands it's people disrespectin' me. Hell, I done lost 31 games in two seasons back in Seattle. I knows about some disrespect, I got plenty of it from dem damn hippies that frequent Mariner games (and they say Wrigley Field is the world's largest queer bar.)
/spits chewing tobacco
You ask me, dem Brewers is just about the most disrespectful team in the National League with their high fivin' and untuckin' and struttin' round the bases like they in first place or something. I don't mind them hittin' me so much, I just hate that shirt untuckin' so darn much.
/drives pick up truck
Hell, my daddy didn't take his shirt off when he got off work. He didn't even wear a shirt! Hardly could, most days it was hotter than two rats bangin' in a wool sock! You don't see me and my teammates comin' to the ball game with no shirts on.
/listens to Lynyrd Skynyrd
Course none of this would matter if we could just beat them sumbitches to shut em up once and for good. I try to tell em we need to get out there and beat em, hell I'm serious as the business end of a .45 and we still lose. I just don't know what it is about them Brewers, but we can't lick em.
/does taxidermy
But just cuz we ain't beat em yet, don't mean we're gun quit tryin. These colors don't run and I'm gonna get me some Brewers come hell or high water. That boy Mike Cameron better watch out too, cuz I hate that shirt untuckin' business and I know it was his idea. I'm comin' for that son of a gun.
/trims beard, finds a frenchy fry