Yesterday Tom "I hate my job" Haudricourt did a chat at JSOnline. He answered a lot of questions, but he didn't have time for all of them. Luckily, Tom H and I are tight (we listen to goth music together) and he allowed me to put the questions and his answers that they didn't have time for right here on Miller Park Drunk!
Q: mary anne, milwaukee - tom are you on facebook, myspace or twitter?
A: Tom Haudricourt - Why don't you check out my FaceBook profile and find out? Oh that's right I am not an idiot like you who uses FaceBook or MYspace. Go tweet yourself.
Q: milwaukee fan - You are an awesome writer and I love Tony as well. Just a quick question: what color is the sky?
A: Tom Haudricourt - Thanks so much. We do our best around here, we like to think of ourselves as the Woodward and Berninstein of Milwaukee. To answer your question: depends what day.
Q: Mark, Eau Claire - Tom: I was wondering if you could tell me how Braun's first three years thus far compare to some of the other great baseball players. It seems like he's right up there with Pujols and other legends.
A: Tom Haudricourt - I have neither the time or the desire to research such things.
Q: miranda, appleton - tom are you single?
A: Tom Haudricourt - That's really none of your business, but if I was I wouldn't date some loser Brewers fan who reads my chats.
Q: Jack, New Berlin - Tom, I love the Brewers and I love going to Miller Park but the coverage that you and Tony deliver is beyond atrocious. I now get all of my Brewers information from blogs even though I'd prefer it from the JSOnline. Is there any chance of your editors realizing how bad you are and replacing you with better reporters? Or will the JS continue to stick it's head in the sand and act like everything is alright?
A: Tom Haudricourt - I'm glad they let you use the internet at the school for the mentally challenged, retard. Maybe if you knew anything you'd know that I am the best this stupid city will ever have.
Q: brewcrew4eva - Tom I hate Ryan Braun, Rickie Weeks, Mike Cameron, Prince Fielder and Yovanni Gallardo. Is there anyway the team can just clone Corey Hart and Craig Counsell and have them play every position?
A: Tom Haudricourt - No, but there is probably about 100 different ways you can kill yourself. Go try a few.
Q: Jack, New Berlin - Hey Tom me again. How do you think the Brewers will handle Capuano's return from the DL? Julio seems sure to go, but Cap is most valuable as a starter I'd think.
A: Tom Haudricourt - Go f yourself.
Q: Bill, La Crosse - Non Brewers question: Do you think the Cubs will turn it around and start being the team people thought they'd be in the preseason? Also, will the Dodgers still be good without Manny?
A: Tom Haudricourt - I'm paid to cover the Brewers, not the rest of baseball. Please don't waste everyone's time with this. Okay, that about wraps it up. It's not like I'm getting paid by the hour here. See you guys at the ballpark. (Actually, I won't because I'll be in the press box and you'll be in the upper deck.)
Ryan Braun, I'd like to start this intervention by saying that I think you will go down as one of, if not THE, greatest Brewers of all time. Your combination of power, speed, improving everday defense and incredible bat speed make me so happy that you are on my team and not someone elses. Watching you reminds me of what it must have been like for Cardinals fans to watch Pujols, Mariners fans to watch Griffey (first time), Yankees fans to watch Mantle and Cubs fans to watch Henry Rowengartner. You are a very special player and you do some amazing things, but you need to relax.
Here's a small timeline of your weekend:
Friday: You strike out and throw your bat like you are 3 years old.
Later Friday: You hit a home run to win the game and stick your tongue out like Michael Jordan, then make a cocky trek around the bases.
Saturday: For some reason you decide to try a drag bunt and almost get hit in the head with the ball. When you get to first base you won't shut up about it.
Later Saturday: You hit a home run and basically stare down Dempster the entire trot around the bases.
When you add this to the Pittsburgh situation, I think it's about time you chill the hell out Braun. First of all, it is uncool to pout and throw your bat. You're not Jose Hernandez, if you strike out it is not the end of the world. The pitcher just won that round and as you have proven many times that you will win a later round. So relax.
Then, after openly pouting you hit a game winning home run. When you do this, you act like you are Superman. That you are four for four with fifteen home runs and eleventy runs batted in. We won the game, great. I am excited too, but you can't have it both ways. If you are going to celebrate your hits like that, you might try to mature a little bit on your outs. Relax. This is a game in May, not a game in October.
Saturday was probably the worst with your "I'm a soldier" routine (seriously, did you hang with Kellen Winslow at school?). I'm just going to break this thing down for you real quick. Throwing at people in baseball is highly discouraged by the commisioner's office. Throwing at superstars is right up there with HGH, if you do it there will be serious consequences. This isn't the 70s, bud. Not every pitcher on every team is out to get you. Quite the opposite. Yet at the same time when you act like you've been acting: whiny when you're out, cocky when you're not, ready to rumble and run your mouth when a ball gets close to you; guess what? You'll find a few guys who do want to throw at you, not a lot but a few and all it takes is one ball to your head and this whole thing is over. So RELAX. It's a long season stop pissing everyone off in May.
The Cubs enter Miller Park this weekend for a three game series. The two teams sit one game apart the Cubs are 16-12 and the Brewers are 16-13. Based on play thus far this season the Brewers have a 27% chance of making the playoffs while the Cubs have a 24% chance according to BP Playoff Odds. Now, if you get down into the numbers if the Brewers were to sweep the Cubs this weekend they'd be at 19-13 and probably above 30% to make the playoffs while the Cubs would see a serious dropoff. The reverse would also be true. So, the question becomes: does this series matter?
No. It doesn't.
If we have a repeat of last season where the Cubs sweep the Brewers in Miller Park it means absolutely nothing in the long run of the season. They'll be a .500 team with a higher amount of runs scored than runs allowed. The future will still be bright, we'll still have to wear shades.
Do I want the Brewers to win? Of course. That's a stupid question, damn you for asking it... myself. The point is the sky doesn't fall if they don't. They are still talented and on a good pace this season. That beind said, I really hope they win this series. I don't expect this weekend to be like April, I fully expect more Cubs fans than Brewers fans. And that's fine. Just remember what I said about booing and giving back the douche. Now's your time to shine Milwaukee.
I'm off for the weekend, not catching any games til Tuesday as I want to spend some time with my son. He's getting to the age where I can fully explain to him why he shouldn't wear Affliction shirts, call women whores, live in Illinois or boo. That's about 1 and a half right? Have fun out there.
With the Cubs coming into town today, I thought it'd be a good time to look at famous Cubs fans throughout history. This is a team with a rich history of fandom that needs to be appreciated.
The pictorial of some of the more famous Cubs fans is after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »