10
Jun 09

Ryan Braun turns down the Bachelor

So did you hear that Ryan Braun was offered a spot on ABC's The Bachelor? It's true.

We weren't at the meeting, but we know a few Hollywood Insiders who know things. Things like "Fox has no idea what they're doing" and "NBC used to be a lot better", even things like "what happened when Ryan Braun met with ABC executives". Continue reading →


09
Jun 09

10 lame insults to yell at Rockies players

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The Colorado Rockies are coming to Miller Park tonight. The Rockies play in the West and we don't normally see them or here about them or even know they exist unless the Brewers are playing them. I know what you are thinking "What am I going to do? I know nothing about this team, but I want to heckle them!" But have no fear gentle fan, we got you covered.

  1. Todd Helton! You're old!
  2. Troy Tulo! I can't properly pronounce your last name!
  3. Welcome to sea level!
  4. Where's Cartman?
  5. Hey Ubaldo! Where's your hair?!
  6. Dexter Fowler, pee yew you stink!
  7. Alan Embree! You are even older than Helton! HA!
  8. Hey Josh Fogg, the Phish concert isn't for two weeks!
  9. You guys should stick to snowboarding!
  10. Where's Matt Holliday!?

09
Jun 09

Preparation for the MLB Draft

pejadraftWhen you watch the NBA draft: you know most of the names from following the college tournament. Unless, they are from a foreign country then you just pretend that you know whether you like or dislike the pick. (My advice is to always dislike it. Europeans are soft.) Towards the end of the first round you usually end up watching something else because the last few picks never end up mattering much. In the end you are excited to see how a guy turns out next year.

When you watch the NFL draft: you know most of the names because all ESPN does is talk about football 24 hours a day/7 days a week/365 days a year. I think the day after the Super Bowl last year they had a prediction show. You sit and watch the entire draft for 10-15 hours wondering where your life has gone. In the end you are excited to see how a guy turns out next year.

When you watch the NHL draft: lol nobody watches the NHL draft.

When you watch the MLB draft: you have pretty much no idea who anybody is and the announcers who are saying great pick or bad pick pretty much don't know either. You watch the first round until your team has picked or just leave it on in the background as you go online. In the end you are excited to see how a guy turns out in the next 2-5 years.


08
Jun 09

50 Brewers related sexual innuendos

michael_scott2jpgLet me get personal for a second here. I love, like love love ))<>(( love love <3 love myspace love, sexual innuendos. I love saying that'swhat she said. Besides my friend Emily I probably say it more than anyone I have ever met. I just love them. Whether they are actually meant in a sexual way, just meant to be funny or just plain stupid, I love them. So why not combine two loves? Why not list a few of my favorite Brewers related sexual innuendos? Why not list ONE HUNDRED FIFTY of them?

Sounds like a plan. Continue reading →


05
Jun 09

Your weekend over and unders

caged_lionIt's been a strange week in Miller Park Drunk land. A long baseball conversation with Al's Ramblings. More Happy Youngster jokes. All-Star lineups. Finding out that someone else is taking credit for Coffey's music. (That one hurt.) Calling out Mike Cameron on the untuck. It's been fun. Unfortunately, watching Brewers games lately hasn't been. These sorts of these things happen from time to time over a 162 game season. You win three straight, you lose 3 of 4, you win a few more. It's nothing to get excited about. How about that homerun Prince hit yesterday though? Could he have picked a deeper part of the ballpark? Crazy power there.

The Crew (this is how I like to say it, what's up with those people who say Blue Brew Crue? I mean, really?) begin a three game series against the Braves this weekend. The Braves have under gone a makeover this week releasing all-time Brave Tom Glavine, acquiring Nate McClouth and calling up pitcher Tommy Hanson. This isn't exactly the series you'd want come off losing three of four, but you take what you're given and like it in the Major Leagues. The MLB is like Oliver Twist that way.

Anyways, for those of you watching the games  this weekend here's a few things to look out for and bet on with your friends.

Weekend O/Us

  • 15: FSN mentions of their Twitter page.
    Speaking of Twitter, our friend and yours Tom Haudricourt is now on Twitter and occasionally posts.. things. Today he tweeted that rumors in Boston have them getting JJ Hardy. I think it's pretty ridiculous that someone with access to the general manager would post something like this. The Boston media thinks of the rest of the majors as their farm system, but fails to realize that a contending team wouldn't trade one of their keys guys in a pennant race. That's fine. What's not fine is the Milwaukee writer who doesn't even realize it. What an idiot.
  • 3: Times Tommy Hanson is called a "phenom", "future star" or "whiz".
  • 85: Times you hear the name "Nate McClouth". Trust me they are going to go on and on and on about this.
  • 13: Beers I drink tonight.
  • 5: Bill Hall strikeouts.
  • 1: Times Joe Mauer tells Elton John he's a top, not a catcher.
  • 2: Times a Brewers leaves the game early. Seriously, it seems like this has been happening every game!
  • 3: People who skip our grilling guide and still pour the gas over the metal. Bastards.

Alright, that's enough of that. We're going away for the weekend. Maybe take the boy to the zoo since the Brewers are out of town. Afterall, it's never too early to teach your son what monkeys having sex looks like.