A few weeks ago I went to the Brewers game with some friends from work. One of the girls I work with brought her boyfriend who brought his grill. My original thinking when I saw this was "sweet, now I can just drink and mess around while this dude cooks." However, after about five minutes I realized this dude had no idea what he was doing. It was a mess. Pouring the lighter fluid on the coals without removing the cooking surface, rearranging the coals once it was starting to go, covering the top completely. It was a mess and I just couldn't believe that someone wouldn't know this. It drove me nuts. So I guided him along and when everything was all said and done we all enjoyed some lighter fluid tasting burgers. Hooray.
Here's the thing, I don't want to do this again. It wasn't fun. I don't want to have to show people how to do these things. This is something that people of a certain age should know. I don't know how to clean a fish. It's embarassing, but it's true. It's embarassing because I should know how to do it. Before the next time I go fishing, I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to go on google and figure it out and then when I'm out there doing it wrong and my friend says something to me I can say "oh man, it's been awhile" and play it off. That's what this is for you, dude that doesn't know how to start a grill. Try to remember what you can and when you screw it up and someone says something to you, you can just go "oh man, first tailgate of the year" and everything will be all good.
First of all, if you don't know what you are doing buy the self-starting coals. A piece of paper, some matches and you're done.
TAKE THE GRILL PART OFF.
If you don't get those however, here's how you do it. Build your coals in a pyramid-esque shape, only flat at the top, Like an A without the ^.
Pour some lighter fluid if you want, but paper works a lot better. Not notebook paper, but like a paper bag that you get from the grocery store. This will get your coals going. Maybe a little lighter fluid, but don't overdo it. Try and remember that it is GAS and gas tastes like crap.
Once it gets going, don't mess with it. Leave it alone. Put the cover on, but only half way. Or leave the vent open on top if it's a windy day. Don't move them around, don't do anything. Just let them burn. Drink a beer.
They are ready when they all look ashy grey and they are warm. I feel ridiculous even writing this.
Coals last longer than you think they do, you don't need to add more. Here's how you know your coals aren't good anymore: they aren't there anymore. That's how you know you need to add more.
Dispose of them properly. Nobody thinks a dumpster fire is funny. It's really just annoying.
So, you got that? You can skip half of those and as long as you remember not to mess with them and take the grill part off, we're fine. Seriously.
Do you think the Brewers were the first people to untuck their shirts after a victory? It would seem to be so, but actually if you look throughout history there have been many moments where people have untucked their shirts after a victory. Don't believe me? Check this out.
We now bring you part two of our e-mail conversation with Al of Al's Ramblings for The Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show. Part two is a bit longer than part 1 as we get into Rickie Weeks, Mike Cameron, post-2009, potential trades, JJ Hardy, Manny Parra and the future of the team. We started to hit a groove towards the end there and we're happy with the results. This is probably the most actual analysis you'll ever see us do, so enjoy it while you can.
MPD: Bill Hall is a great example of casual fans not thinking things through. Bill Hall was beloved for hitting those 35 home runs, then was considered an overpaid let down (both with the bat and the glove) as a center fielder. Last season he was routinely booed, the fans wanted Branyan and his numbers didn't do much to prove anyone wrong. Now here we are in 2009 and he's the same player he was last year, but now he should be the starting second baseman. How does that make sense? Continue reading »
This is a baseball blog that hardly talks about baseball so I thought we'd try something a little different this week and you know, actually talk about baseball. To do this I enlisted some help and had an email chat with Al Bethke of Al's Ramblings, one of my favorite Brewers blogs. Al mostly concentrates on the sabermetric side of the Brewers and generally takes a contrarian viewpoint on most things. When it's all said and done he ends up being right a whole lot more than he is wrong which kind of makes him annoying (I kid.) It got kind of long so we are going to break it into two parts, with part two tomorrow.
Miller Park Drunk: Okay, let's kick this thing off Al. One thing that I have written about in the past that has gotten a lot of feedback from my readers is the subject of booing. There are a lot of people out there who think it's okay to boo people who are under performing or making generally bad decisions. I was at the ESPN game this past Tuesday against the Cardinals and the crowd was openly booing Suppan when he was pulled. It just doesn't make any sense to me. You are a bit more of a Suppan apologist than I am, but at the same time whether I like him or not I am smart enough to realize that no matter what happens he is going to be starting every fifth day for the rest of the season. To me, you should never boo your own team under any circumstances. Boo your umpires. Boo your Barry/Manny/A-Rod's of the world. Boo your Sheffields. Leave your own team alone. It's almost like people who beat their dog for going to the bathroom in the house. It does absolutely nothing to change things and just makes your dog hate you. What I'm wondering is how you feel on the subject of booing and why do you think that so many casual Brewers fans think it's okay? I don't see how Mike Cameron striking out three times in a game is worse than their beloved Brett Favre throwing 15 interceptions in the first half. Continue reading »
In case you haven't heard the Brewers have added a new service for fans to report people behaving badly. All you have to do is text them and they'll take care of it. I think this is a great service and would hate to see it abused by some fans. That's why we're here with...
YOUR GUIDE TO TEXTING THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS
When texting the Brewers, please spell everything correctly. "drnk n 125 no sht on yllng" will get you nowhere.
Don't use the texting service as a way to get in touch with Brewers players. "JJ: 36/24/36, call me 414xxxxxxx" will not be accepted.
No lols. This one hurts me, but it's true. We can't have lols in texts. So "dude just punched out cub fan in rf lol!" isn't going to cut it. Sorry.
No texting after 2AM. Nothing good ever happens after 2AM.
If you see The Happy Youngster feel free to make something up about him and text it.
I'm pretty interested to see how this turns out. It could easily turn into a case of he said/she said and there are a lot of people out there who are simply too easily offended. The only thing I'll say about it for now is this: use it to your advantage, get The Happy Youngster thrown out of games.