11
Dec 09

Where are you running, Prince Fielder?

I am nothing if not a people pleaser so when a commenter requested that we do a story about the Brewers being more open to running next year and "what the Brewers are running from?" I had to oblige and present you THE RUNNING SERIES.

princefielder2

To goddamn Toys R Us where else. My stupid wife thinks we have to have the "best Christmas ever" this year while our kids are still young. Does that mean spending a lot of time together? No. Going Christmas Caroling? No. (Don't laugh, I do a mean "fah la la la" part in "Deck the Halls".) Watching classic movies together? No. Going to see lights? No. According to my wife the "best Christmas ever" involves me spending thousands of dollars on gifts for the kids. Is this really Christmas? Spoiling your kids so bad that they open one present and just move on to opening the next without taking time to appreciate the first gift? I say no, but it's not like anyone hears what I have to say in this family anyways. (Which doesn't even make any sense. How many Home Run Derbies has Chanel won? How many single season Brewers records does she own? Yeah, that's what I thought. Marriage sucks.)

You know, when I was a kid there was only one thing I ever wanted for Christmas: my dad's love. Did I ever get it? Hell no, but do you see me complaining? Continue reading →


10
Dec 09

How come you’re running, Ken Macha?

I am nothing if not a people pleaser so when a commenter requested that we do a story about the Brewers being more open to running next year and "what the Brewers are running from?" I had to oblige and present you THE RUNNING SERIES.

kenmacha2

You see, it's simple really.

In the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runaway American dream
At night we ride through the mansions of glory in suicide machines
Sprung from cages out on highway 9,
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected, and steppin' out over the line
h-Oh, Baby this town rips the bones from your back
It's a death trap, it's a suicide rap
We gotta get out while we're young
`Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run

/plays air guitar

/tries to jump and do splits in the air

/pull groin

1-2-3-4!!


10
Dec 09

What are you running from, Alcides Escobar?

I am nothing if not a people pleaser so when a commenter requested that we do a story about the Brewers being more open to running next year and "what the Brewers are running from?" I had to oblige and present you THE RUNNING SERIES.

Brewers Cardinals Baseball

My crazy ass baby's momma. What the hell do you think I'm running from? Have you seen this youtube video?

And her mother too. Holy Christ, I gotta start wearing condoms.


10
Dec 09

What are you running for, Corey Hart?

I am nothing if not a people pleaser so when a commenter requested that we do a story about the Brewers being more open to running next year and "what the Brewers are running from?" I had to oblige and present you THE RUNNING SERIES.

Phillies Brewers Baseball

Hi, I'm Corey Hart of the Milwaukee Brewers and I want to be your next county commissioner. Are you tired of those potholes on route 11? Are you sick of the graffiti on traffic signs? Can you tell me a good reason we can't turn left on Sage when coming from Swallowtail Drive? Are you, like me, fed up with my opponents lies and rhetoric when it comes to the well being of our beloved county? If you're not you should be and that's why I need good people like you to come support me in this crucial election to decide our county's future. Let's look at the facts. Continue reading →


10
Dec 09

What are you running from, Carlos Gomez?

I am nothing if not a people pleaser so when a commenter requested that we do a story about the Brewers being more open to running next year and "what the Brewers are running from?" I had to oblige and present you THE RUNNING SERIES.

carlosgomez2

I was just a kid.

Playing my first season in America after spending my whole life in the Dominican Republic was quite a culture shock to me. Continue reading →

  • BrewBay

    Could not parse file.