09
Dec 09

Brewers sign best available free agent

randywolf2Let's call it like it is, the Brewers needed a starting pitcher. Randy Wolf was arguably the best pitcher available. They got him. What the hell is everone whining about? Yes, it's too much money but free agents always get too much money. Alcides Escobar will be one of the most valuable players on the Brewers this season and he will make the league minimum. Jeff Suppan will be one of the worst and he'll be the highest paid. Randy Wolf is overpaid for his performance and Alcides Escobar and Ryan Braun are underpaid for theirs. That's how it works. It's stupid, but that's how it works. So, it's not too much money because it already is too much money. (That makes sense, right?)

Is it too many years? Not really. Continue reading →


09
Dec 09

LaTroy Hawkins? I know that guy

latroyhawkinsThe Brewers are said to be HOT AND HEAVY after have signed LaTroy Hawkins and I can't help but think that his name sounds really familiar to me. Not in the positive sense. After much searching of my apartment and underneath my trophy case of women's left socks and earlobes, I found it. My favorite book ever written about the Chicago Cubs, Wrigleyworld, that Latroy Hawkins is a big star of. A few choice quotes.

General Manager Jim Hendry did nothing to address the anemic bullpen, instead calling on LaTroy Hawkins for another season.

Especially not today. The Cubs take a 3-2 lead into the top of the ninth, but closer LaTroy Hawkins surrenders the tying run and the game goes into extra innings.

"People are so angry about Dusty Baker, but what about Sammy Sosa and Moises Alou? What about LaTroy Hawkins?"

All this on top of Saturday's game, a freezing and windy affair that saw LaTroy Hawkins blow his second save of the season with two earned runs in the Cubs 4-3 loss.

In the ninth (after an improbable 1-2-3 inning from LaTroy Hawkins), Corey Patterson comes to the plate.

And finally, the best quote of all. Continue reading →


08
Dec 09

Winter Meeting Madness

randywolfSo, you've probably noticed this site has been kind of quiet as of late. I think I actually saw a little dust collecting on the header. You're probably thinking that Miller Park Drunk is another in the long line of Brewers blogs that got tired of doing it and closed up shop without ever telling anyone, but I assure you that is not the case here. Why would we quit when Seth McClung is thanking the author by name and apologizing for his typing? (You're forgiven.) Why would I quit when there are all these chicks dying to sleep with me? Why would I quit when Ryan Braun's restaurant hasn't even opened yet? Clearly, the world isn't ready to let us quit.

No, the reason you haven't been reading much here lately is because we don't write about bullshit. (Unless, of course, we are the ones making up said bullshit.) I don't want to speculate about silly rumors and then find out later that they weren't true. I don't want to attack an acquisition that never happens. It's just not our style.

The thing with these rumors is they are always ridiculous. Doug Melvin could be in line at a Starbucks where Mark Mulder has been working as a barista and all of the sudden we are on the verge of signing him. Continue reading →


07
Dec 09

Morning Read: Vince and Tyler’s Nice Dreams

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Hey, look at that it's our 300th post! Kind of funny that we have no real content for it except to say that the incomparable Tyler Maas and I took some time off from our procrastinating busy schedules to talk about the Brewers offseason and make a few rape jokes for the Onion AV Club. It's much better than the last time we chatted online and I only make one reference to Rookie of the Year. You have to love the super catchy title, "What should the Brewers do in the off-season?" I guess my title "JJ Hardy won't be screwing my girlfriend anymore" wasn't up to the Onion's standards. Oh well, live and learn.

READ IT!

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