The Brewers are moving to Orlando and I don't know about you guys, but I'm going with them. Think about it. Disney World! Universal Studios! Epcot Center! The Brewers! Throw in Wesley Snipes from Demolition Man a cute girl from my class and it's like my grade school wet dream. I am going to miss all of you, but I think myself and the team will be much happier there. Nice weather, good team, good location. How could this possibly go wrong?
A few people out there aren't really happy with the Brewers pitching choices this offseason. The idea is that the Brewers haven't signed anyone that could be considered anything better than a #3 starter. While this has some truth to it, it's kind of a silly argument. What if the team broke the bank and got a "proven ace"? There would be no money left to get a second starter, which the team needed, and the team would be guaranteed to come out of the spring with Suppan starting (and if someone got injured Mike Burns or Chris Narveson). That's not a good plan. We don't want Mike Burns ever starting for us again unless we are playing softball at Helfaer Field. Furthermore, let's say that last season someone offered you this trade:
Mike Cameron, JJ Hardy, Jason Kendall and Seth McClung for:
Carlos Gomez, Gregg Zaun, Latroy Hawkins, Randy Wolf and Doug Davis
I mean, even a Mike Cameron fan like myself, a 13 year old saving herself for JJ or the most diehard Slipknot fan would think that's a good trade right? I'd hope so because that is a good trade and it's exactly what Doug Melvin has pulled off. The team will go into spring training with basically the same payroll as last year with upgrades at between four and five positions (C, SP, SP, SS and RP(?)) with a drop off at only one (CF). That's a really good offseason. I honestly don't know how anyone could say that outside of the Mariners anyone had a better offseason than that and it's all because of the Big Tuna Doug Davis. Who knew?
I love Retro Friday at Miller Park. Some out there will rail against it saying that we need to leave the past in the past and that the team needs to forge it's own identity and blah blah blah, to which I say screw off. Saying we should get rid of the ball and glove logo is like saying we should get rid of the American flag. You know who wants to get rid of the American flag? Terrorists.
Luckily for us and the safety of our nation, the Brewers agree with me. In fact they are taking retro Fridays into the future for their 40th anniversary and turning them into four retro weekends. Let me tell you, they sound AWESOME. Continue reading →
Here's some things to read while watching Avatar porn (SFW).
Jody Gerut, Rickie Weeks and Carlos Gomez have all agreed to deals avoiding arbitration leaving Dave Bush, Carlos Villanueva, Todd Coffey and Corey Hart as the only ones remaining unsigned. I imagine Corey Hart is going to act like a punk like he did last year.
Speaking of Corey Hart, Sandra Bullock captured the Golden Globe for best actress for her role in "The Blind Side". When reached for comment Corey said that movie was "gooder than grits." I haven't seen it because I've been too busy with the site, but maybe some day. I have seen this trailer for the A-Team though which looks quite good.
The Brewers don't play the Twins in Minnesota until May, but I just might have to make the trip up there. Why? Target Field will offer walleye on a stick. Personally, I'm more of a pork chop on a stick kind of guy. I still say they should have put a roof on that place.
Here's a story for everyone who has ever complained about the wait for the bathroom at Miller Park. It could be worse, you could be a ball boy at the Australian Open and pee yourself.
- Mets induct two cocaine addicts to their Hall of Fame. Sounds about right.
- An earthquake caused a major tragedy in Haiti, but can't stop Jimmy Rollins' wedding.
- Do Lenny Dykstra stories ever get old? I say no.
- Charlie Manuel lost a ton of weight. Maybe I should diet....nah.
- From now on Jack Z will be known as Daddy WARbucks. That's a lot easier to spell than Zduriencik.
Looking for a new favorite player after the departures of Seth McClung, Mike Cameron and JJ Hardy? You could always join Zaunbie Nation. WARNING: Canadian rock gods Rush will start playing. Prepare to rock out.
Meanwhile, Al's Ramblings takes a break from dissing the left, making fun of old media and fantasizing about Meghan McCain to express how much he misses Seth McClung. I do too.
On this day in history Jeff Juden was born. Also, Sargent Slaughter defeated the Ultimate Warrior for the WWF title under circumstances that I would call nefarious.
Oh, and I knew there was a reason I didn't do John Cena impressions.
That's all I have for today, unless you're looking for a lesson in ownage by Jack Bauer.