I've been to Opening Day for the past three years now and this would be my fourth year in a row. Basically, since I moved back to Wisconsin I have gone to Opening Day every year. I've had good times and I've had bad. I've had girls hold my hand because they were drunk (or as I like to call it, second base), I've had a fight broken up because the other person liked Kobe Bryant just a little too much, I've gone crazy for my favorite player and I've dealt with that traffic that you see in the picture. It's always been fun, but so has every Brewers game that I've ever been to. (Well, except for that one.) I guess the question I am asking is, does a good Opening Day matter? Should I even bother? I mean, as a person who is kind of crazy about baseball, a person who spends a lot of his free time writing about it for free on a website, you'd think that I'd be a shoo-in for Opening Day, but lately I've been questioning it. Read the rest of this entry »
Sometimes I get the weird desire to google something and then just see what happens. Sometimes it's sexual in nature like "cat peeing on boobs" and sometimes it's to actually learn something like "what the hell is a milliarcsecond". Other times, times like today I decide to search something that I may be able to use on the site. Today I googled: "brewers tattoo". Here's what I found:
For the Brewers fan who likes the Brewers, but also likes smoking a ton of pot. Read the rest of this entry »
Hey Milwaukee, how's it going man? Alright. It's your amigo Barry Zito here and I just want to holler at you for a quick second here about Prince Fielder, alright. Last season Prince Fielder sent some serious bad vibes our way with his walk-off homerun celebration and a lot of us Giants are still pissed about it, bro. That was really bad karma and we just didn't appreciate it, man. We were in the midst of a playoff race and just tryin' to keep on winnin' man, w-i-n-i-n.
/takes off shirt
We weren't happy about the loss and I didn't really like havin' it thrown in our faces. Since I am starting against the Brewers today some people want me to throw at Prince, but that's not really my style man. I'd just assume keep a little change in my pocket and not get suspended.
/talks about what's under the hood
I went up to Guillermo Mota and asked him if he wanted to throw at Prince, but he said no. It'd be a lot cooler if he did.
/smokes pot Read the rest of this entry »
It's spring training for the players right now, but it's also spring training for some of the fans. Get caught up and get all your questions answered in Miller Park Drunk's Better Know Your Brewers feature. It's like a casual guide for the casual fan. Today's feature is the coaching staff.
MANAGER: Ken Macha
DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC: Lame duck.
2010 CHALLENGE: Get Brewers to the playoffs.
ODDS OF SUCCESS: Medium.
MADE UP FACT YOU NEED TO KNOW: He thought he could fool us by changing one letter, but Macha is actually made from paper mache.
INTERESTING FACTS THAT ARE TRUE: Macha holds a first degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. In his free time he enjoys golf and turkey hunting.
THING TO YELL IF HE SUCKS: "Hey Maccarena, aaahai!" Read the rest of this entry »
It is officially my favorite time of the year.
The weather is slowly starting to get better, spring training has begun and Wrestlemania is right around the corner. Yeah, I said Wrestlemania. Just like everyone that didn't get laid enough wrestling was a big part of my life growing up. I mean, who didn't have a Stone Cold, Rock or nWo t-shirt in that sweet 97-2000 period? Losers, that's who. This should come as no surprise to any of you really. After all, Miller Park Drunk WAS the site that originally suggested the Ultimate Warrior theme for Todd Coffey and we all know how that turned out.
I don't watch as much wrestling as I did back then, but I usually always end up checking it out around Wrestlemania time. If you're looking for a good show, it's a pay-per-view that never lets you down unlike the majority of boxing and the occasional UFC PPVs I have watched over the years (one of the many positives of watching a fake sport.) Sure, there is still some stupid stuff on the show like last year's 20 minute Kid Rock concert, but overall at the end of the show I always feel as if I've gotten my money's worth and it's a perfect set-up drinking-wise for Opening Day. Last season was the perfect storm for my Wrestlemania/baseball orgy as Wrestlemania was Sunday, I went to Twins Opening Day on Monday and then made it home Tuesday for the Brewers first game of the season. Just a great three days of drinking, sporting, hanging with my friends and, of course, drinking. It's spread a bit further out this year, but for some strange reason nothing gets me ready for baseball season like Wrestlemania.
Now all these thoughts of wrestling and baseball have me mixing up the two. Was it Kane that Tombstoned Pete Rose or was that Richie Sexson? Who won 1992 Rookie of the Year for the Brewers, Pat Listach or The Repo Man? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the reason I am confusing the two so much is because they are so much alike. Richie Sexson was who he was because of his size, just like Kane. Pat Listach basically stole the Rookie of the Year award from Kenny Lofton and then disappeared a few years later because he wasn't that good, just like the Repo Men basically stole people's cars and disappeared because he wasn't that good. (Sidenote: how did Listach get so many at-bats in 96-97? He was awful, I'm talking Shockmaster awful.) The comparisons are endless. However, for the purposes of this article we'll be limiting the comparisons to players currently on the team. So without any further adieu I present to you...