11
Jun 10

Doug Davis hopes to return in less than 3 weeks, has awesome wife

Doug Davis hasn't had the best start to his Brewers season. He wasn't that good, but he was also extremely unlucky with a 3+ run difference in his ERA and FIP. Then he got hurt when his heart was bleeding and he had to get a transplant from someone who died, but it turned out that man was actually evil and Doug had to fight him for control of his soul. Now, it looks like he'll be back in three weeks or less. The Brewers could probably use him by then and it'll be nice to have him back (if only to complain about).

So Doug will be back soon, but that's not really why I posted this post. I needed an excuse to post these pictures of his hot ass wife that I found. Seriously, she's a babe and the accompanying tweet shows how unfair life can be. My last girlfriend told me she knew she could never truly love me after she saw me eat four brats in five minutes. She was nothing like Chantelle.

Seriously, she can inflate my ERA anytime. Continue reading →


10
Jun 10

I love the Brewers

I am the biggest Chicago Blackhawks fan that I know. Serious.

When I was a kid my dad had season tickets and we would drive down to see the games, every Sunday. The Blackhawks at the time had GREAT players like Jeremy Roenick, Eddie Belfour and Chris Chelios, driving them towards the playoffs and a Stanley Cup appearance. (My favorite player? Stu Grimson. The team's enforcer. Of course he was.) It was an impressionable time for a youth like myself, the Blackhawks were good and hockey was a pretty cool sport. I loved the Blackhawks, I loved watching them play and I loved hockey.

Fast forward to the present. The Chicago Blackhawks are in the Stanley Cup finals. They are leading three games to two and their next win means the first Stanley Cup championship in my lifetime. The first time any team that I deemed my "favorite team" won anything. This is a huge moment. People are excited, this is the biggest thing to happen to the Blackhawks since West Side Story was a hit. Clearly, this was a serious time and for any serious Blackhawks fan they would do whatever it took to see their team possibly win the Stanley Cup. Continue reading →


08
Jun 10

THE MOST IMPORTANT SERIES OF THE SEASON

Some people think that this three game series is the most important series of the season. After all, anytime two disappointing, out of contention, under .500 teams meet in June for a mid-week three game series it has to be important, right?

Cubs fans and Brewers fans actually have a lot in common right now. They both want to fire their GM (that being said, I'd take Suppan and his contract over Soriano and his contract any day of the week, they still got four years of that guy). They both can't believe how many games their team has lost to the Pirates. They both were recently questioned by police in connection with a sexual assault at a Wrigleyville bar. They both expected their team to play at least .500. It's not been a good year so far for either team's fans and a win against the perceived "rivals" would go a long way towards healing a few wounds. For some fans, they need these wins. Continue reading →


07
Jun 10

Jeff Suppan: The End

"In the end, it comes down to performance."


03
Jun 10

And now a message from JJ Hardy

Hey look, it's JJ Hardy! Remember him? He was a Brewer last year. I wonder what he's been up to lately. .226/.275/.346? That's like Gregg Zaun in April bad, only without the getting better in May part. Yikes. Let's see how he feels about that.

What's up cheese for brains... brains?

I saw that you finally won a game last night, that must have been so exciting for you. Wins are kind of old news up here in Minnesota, we're usually win like 10 or eleven games a week up here. It's a lot different than Milwaukee, that's for sure. For one, we play outdoors not like you wussies with your roof. You know what happened the other day? It rained. On the baseball field. I was like "close the roof!" and Justin Morneau was all like "we don't have a roof bro." It was nuts, man.

So how's that new shortstop working out for you? Owl City Escobar, right? How many homeruns does he got? Two? That's it, really? Only two? Pssh, I have three already and I've played like 15 less games than he has. Good thing you traded me, haha. Wasn't he supposed to be some kind of savior or something? Number one prospect, my butthole.

How about that guy you traded me for, Carlos something-Mexican? Perez? Gonzalez? Chimichanga? How's he doing? Three homeruns too, eh? That's pretty good. I bet his average isn't as good as mine though. Oh? Well, how about his OBS or whatever? 71 points higher, are you sure? Well, it's early. I'm sure he'll go on a cold streak sooner or later. As long as mine's higher than Al Sea-Tac's Scuba Gear, I'm good. Continue reading →