It is said that looking into Derrek Lee's eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, the Cubs future is always the same.
Let's make Tyler Colvin make a stupid face. No, let's make Tyler Colvin make a stupid face and put a red pepper right in front of his nose! Yeah, it's not like he's our most marketable player or anything.
Hi, I'm Koyie Hill. No, I don't know why I am on the cover of this either.
Hey, let's get Fukudome in there and give him some chopsticks. Get it? Because he's Asian!
It's-a me, Dempster! I hope-a you like a spicy meatball!
You know who we should put on this cover? Alfonso Soriano. I know he's routinely booed at Wrigley Field and he still has four years and almost $70 million left on his untradeable contract, but still. I feel like he should be on there. Maybe something with a lime? He is Dominican, you know. Those people love limes.
I figured so what if he's had a few anger issues? He apologized; Carlos should hold the knife.
Just look at Ted Lilly; he just looks like he's going to be traded to the Dodgers by the time this book comes out.
Two catchers? Really?
Seriously, Dempster is such a douche.