Archive for 2010

10 Worst Milwaukee Brewers of 2010

milwaukee brewers December 31st, 2010

Lost in the shuffle of how awesome 2011 is going to be with the additions of Zack Greinke and Shaun Marcum, was how truly awful 2010 was. Despite our optimism, this team was eliminated by May and had most fans clamoring for a fire sale at the trade deadline. A lot of the reasons for the team's lack of success were stupid ("Ryan Braun is spending too much time on his restaurants and clothing line!"), some of them had basis in reality ("Coffey is eating too much!"), and some of them were just about Ken Macha sucking, but I don't think anyone can deny how much these ten people screwed up the Brewers' 2010 season.

That's right, it's end-of-the-year list time, and instead of looking back on our favorite moments (of which there are two, trading for Shaun Marcum and trading for Zack Greinke), we want to look back on the ten people who screwed the Brewers in 2010 harder than any of the guys your mom brought home. Luckily for us, just like your mom's "night visitors," most of these guys won't be back either. Read the rest of this entry »

Green Bay Packers face tough test this Sunday

Off-Base December 29th, 2010

By any way you measure it, the Green Bay Packers have had a great season. They currently have the second largest point differential of any team in the NFL. Their DVOA, a stat created by Football Outsiders,which I hear is pretty good, ranks them at 23.8% good for 5th overall in the NFL and mere percentage points from 3rd overall. Football Outsiders also ranks them with the second best defense and fifth best offense (in DVOA), and if it wasn't for their terribly low special teams rank, they could be the best team in the NFL. All of their losses are by four points or less. The Green Bay Packers are a much better team than 9-6.

Their opponent on Sunday, the Chicago Bears, is just about the opposite in every way. They are practically an average team in DVOA, their offense is among the league's worst, and their point differential is second lowest among (if the season ended today) NFC playoff teams. The other team? St. Louis Rams. So, yeah. Seven of their eleven wins have come by less than one score. The Chicago Bears are a good team, but they are not this good.

In a world where the numbers are always correct and luck never comes into play, it would be the Chicago Bears playing for their playoff lives, and the Green Bay Packers who would be choosing between playing for the chance at home field advantage or resting their stars on the final weekend. Of course, the NFL is not a world dominated by numbers, and the Green Bay Packers need to win this Sunday if they want to control their own destiny. It doesn't take a math genius to point out that a Packers loss and subsequent missing of the playoffs would be a huge disappointment. Not only would it be a big win for the super annoying Brett-Favre-should-have-the-right-to-choose-when-he-wanted-to-leave goofballs, but it would just plain suck. We need an excuse to drink beyond this weekend. Plus, a team with this sort of talent, that can lose key players and carry on without missing a beat, just doesn't come around that often. This is a team with a chance to win the Super Bowl, and there is no way of knowing if that same chance will return next year. The Packers need to win on Sunday and see how far this thing can go. They have to.

But what if they didn't? What if they didn't make the playoffs? Then what? Read the rest of this entry »

Zack Greinke is our savior

milwaukee brewers December 20th, 2010

I had a crisis of faith this past season. A crisis of faith in baseball, the MLB and it's system, even the Brewers. I just got tired of it all. The playoffs featuring the big spending Yankees and Phillies, the "underdog" World Series champion with a $100 million dollar payroll, the bargain signings and the Fielder trade rumors. I was just tired of it. Tired of thinking about prospects. Tired of going for 85 wins and luck. Tired of myself. Tired of this town.

When the Brewers made their move for Shaun Marcum those thoughts were completely eliminated. I loved the Brewers again. I had a renewed sense of hope that I just didn't feel last year during the offseason. The Brewers were adding someone to their biggest problem that was a significant upgrade over the people he was replacing. This was huge.

I knew that the Brewers had about an extra 30% chance of making the playoffs with Marcum, but it wasn't going to be enough because even if they made it there were still teams with better pitchers. The Giants haven't changed, the Phillies have only gotten better by adding the best pitcher in the league and the Cardinals remain dangerous. There was always a chance, but it was going to be a serious uphill climb.

TheFightins, a wildly popular Phillies blog, closed earlier this year and I remember wondering if we should do the same. An "if they couldn't make it, what hope do we have?" kind of thing. We might have reached our plateau as far as traffic for a Brewers-only blog goes and the Brewers themselves looked as if they might be looking to rebuild if things didn't go their way this year, with Prince Fielder and my man crush Rickie Weeks likely moving on. Maybe it was time for me to move on too and do something else. I thought about it for about two seconds before deciding against it. I just couldn't do it. So, why does that matter now?

Because the Brewers got Zack Greinke! I mean, can you imagine? If we had decided to close this blog we'd be crawling back to you like a guy whose ex-girlfriend just got a boob job. I'd be begging to be let back into your life. BEGGING! I'd (blank) your (blank), man. I would never forgive myself for closing my Brewers blog right before the Brewers pulled off the greatest trade in the history of baseball.

On Sunday morning I woke up and did a "Zack Greinke dance" for about 15 minutes before my girlfriend threatened to record me and put it on the website. (Honestly, there is enough footage of me with my shirt off on this site.) I had to work that day, but all I wanted to do was stay home and write 3000 blog posts.

ZACK GREINKE! SERIOUSLY!

Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke

I honestly can't remember being happier about a Brewers transaction in my entire life. I rank finding out the trade was official right up there with the greatest moments of my life. THANK YOU DOUG MELVIN.

Greatest moments of my life:

  1. Son being born
  2. Something involving my girlfriend*
  3. Zack Greinke becoming a Brewer

The point here is that I can't imagine what it felt like to want to close this site or to not like baseball anymore because I love this site and baseball and the Brewers more than anything in my life right now. I just want to write, watch and read about the Brewers every second of every day for the rest of my life. The Brewers are going to the World Series and then they are going to win it. We are about to see the greatest Brewers team of our lifetime. Everything that came before will seem like a joke.

Hey, 1982 what a season am I right? Yeah, what a season... FOR LOSERS! 2011 BITCHES!!!!

Remember when the Brewers traded for CC Sabathia and won the Wild Card? HAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS.

Blah blah blah Pete Vuckovich, Ben Sheets, Jamie Navarro, blah blah blah. ZACK FRICKIN' GREINKE!!!!!!!!!11 *crotch chop*

This is the most wonderful time of the year.. Read the rest of this entry »

Zack Greinke to Milwaukee?

milwaukee brewers December 19th, 2010

????????????????????

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(incapable of talking or thinking right now)

So, who should we embarrass now?

milwaukee brewers December 8th, 2010

Two days ago we did a post about the Milwaukee Brewers trade of Brett Lawrie for Shaun Marcum and within the post we posted some pictures from Brett Lawrie's facebook that made him look like a douchebag. Since then the post has blown up, yesterday alone saw over 20k hits and we nearly tripled our ad revenue over last month, the site has seen such massive amounts of traffic that the server took the site down for almost two hours last night. The post was mentioned on 620 WTMJ, ESPN radio in Milwaukee by Tom Haudricourt and Trenni Kusnierek, something called Girls of Philly (NSFW), numerous forums, twitter, facebook and even got it's own post at Deadspin. (Deadspin!) It was, by far, the most successful post we've ever done and since that post was so successful we obviously need to find another player to facebook stalk.

When we started doing the blog we didn't expect it to be much. We thought it'd be small, like a Brewers centric Deadspin, getting just a couple hundred hits a week and that sounded good to me. Just a nice little outlet for my Brewers thoughts. Then things got a little bit bigger than we expected and people were telling me that this was one of their favorite blogs so we thought "let's do the Deadspin thing, but mix it with a bit of Milwaukee's Bill Simmons" and we went with that. (It was perfect because we didn't need to update as much. *rimshot* -Ed.) As things went on we threw in little bits of all our favorite blogs; The Dugout, Kissing Suzy Kolber, Warming Glow and I think it's been pretty successful. People still say this is their favorite blog. We threw a party at Miller Park for over 50 people and almost broke even on it. We're almost at 1000 facebook fans. I think it's safe to say that this site's success has exceeded our expectations more than we ever imagined and we couldn't be happier about it.

And then this Brett Lawrie post happened and it threw all of that out of the window. Forget about the Pants Parties, the funny guides to St. Patrick's Day or hangovers (or Thanksgiving), the Bob Uecker tribute, the emotional Father's Day post, the Dugout-esque tribute to John Hughes, the sexual innuendos or even the time I blamed Ryan Braun for ruining my sex life; because that post with the facebook pics more than any of the other posts that I worked on was our biggest hit of all time. Why? Because people love pictures of athletes doing stupid things. I am not condemning this, heck I love it too. I read Terez Owens everyday, I loved watching Dong-gate unfold and even sent my dad a link to it when the story first broke which is kind of weird when I think about it. This stuff cracks me up, but it's only a momentary thing. It's a split second of my day. I much prefer to read Barry Petchesky give Cleveland the business than anything he's ever written about Jenn Sterger, I wish everything I read had ten or more Huey Lewis jokes like this Dugout post and my favorite Will Leitch posts were always about Rick Ankiel. That's my thing, stuff I can quote to my friends (and pass off as my own) or stuff that is just plain fun to read because the person writing it cares about it. Anyone can post a few embarassing pictures of an athlete. Anyone.

I guess what my point is that yesterday's Brett Lawrie post brought us more hits than we've ever had in the past and we don't blame the people that came here to see that for doing it. We do it too, but we hope that isn't the sort of thing that you expect from us because it's not who we are or what we want to be. We want to be better than that even if it means I have to keep living in my parent's basement. If you're reading this we hope it's because you like what we do. We want to make you laugh and care and think, but mostly we just want you to like us. We're shallow like that.

Now, let's find us a Brewer we can embarrass. Read the rest of this entry »

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