01
Sep 10

Comment of the Week: Waste of space trick a** b*****

Welcome to a new feature here at Miller Park Drunk, the Comment of the Week post. That's right, a long time favorite of lazy bloggers who don't feel like writing a full post is now featured right here on the #1 fringe Brewers blog on the internet. You see we love when people comment on our articles, it makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and that's why we make it so easy to do. Did you know you don't even have to enter your name? It's true. Commenting is fun and easy. Who knows, if you play your cards right and start commenting next week we could be recognizing you in this very space!

This week's Comment of the Week comes from an older post, but is just too good not to recognize. The post "JASON KENDALLS EX-WIFE IS DATING ROD STEWARTS SON" was originally posted in March of this year so whoever found this post had to be searching something specific.

The original post was based on Jason Kendall's ongoing divorce from his wife Chantel and her new boyfriend, Sean Stewart, son of Rod Stewart. In the post we featured a quote where Chantel accused Jason of being addicted to Adderall. Later, after the post was published, Jason answered her claims by saying:

"I attribute those changes to the fact that I was married to an alcoholic and drug-addicted woman who abandoned our children, regularly punched me, and was unfaithful."

So yeah, other people's drama is fun.

Anyways, this week's Comment of the Week comes from Some Random Drunk with a Los Angeles, CA IP address (Sean Stewart? Another spurned lover? Diehard Kendall fan? Haha, just kidding like Kendall has a diehard fan.) who said:

She is a hooker. She has been paid for sex. She uses babies as a way to trap men and money. She is drug addict whore. Someone needs to tie her tubes. Waste of space trick ass bitch.

Alright-y then.

Good work crazy anonymous commenter, congratulations on being the winner of this week's Comment of the Week. Live it up.


01
Sep 10

5 Reasons NOT to hate Manny Parra

Disappointing.

Stupid.

Just doesn't get it.

A complete and total letdown.

What do these words in common? They aren't words that my parents used to describe me. Those involve much more f-words. No, they are all words and phrases people have used to describe Manny Parra. Last week Manny Parra was removed from the starting rotation and the talk about him, his potential and his future place in Milwaukee reached it's zenith.

Manny Parra is one of the most divisive figures in the Milwaukee Brewers organization and everyone has their own opinion on him. We once said that Manny Parra was the one and only job that Rick Peterson had when he joined this organization. (Fire Rick Peterson!) Whether we like it or not as Brewers fans Manny Parra is deep in our DNA, like herpes.

The thing is and always has been that Manny Parra does have talent, a lot of it. Maybe more than any starter that hasn't been robbed a gunpoint. Everyone knows this. We're at the point now where talking about Manny Parra is bordering on obsession. I spend more time on the internet reading and writing about Manny Parra than I do googling pictures of Christina Hendricks. That's just not right.

Anyways, as with any post about Manny Parra we need to get the required "Manny is actually kinda good" stuff out of the way first. I'm going to let other blogs do the heavy lifting on this one.

From BrewCrewBall:

The Brewers started the 2010 season with Parra in the bullpen. He was moved to the rotation and has started 13 games. He's responded with the best strikeout rate of his career (over 9 per 9) and has dropped his walk rate back down to about 4.3 per 9. His FIP is at 4.6, with a bad rate on home runs: his expected FIP is right at 4. The BABIP is right back up in the .360s, however, and his rates of line drives, fly balls, and ground balls are similar to last year's, and they're pretty much fine. And his ERA is 5.6.

If you're skeptical of FIP and tERA makes more sense to you, look at it this way: in the past three years, Parra's expected ERA based on his amount of line drives, fly balls, groundballs, strikeouts, and walks allowed, have been: 4.67, 4.78, and 4.67 again this year.

Something very strange is going on with Manny Parra. If someone can give me a justifiable reason why Parra is carrying the one of the highest BABIPs in history, I'm willing to listen.

So, Manny Parra is the same pitcher he's always been despite performing noticeably worse the last two years, but that's mostly because he gives up a lot of hits and homeruns. He's just run into some bad luck or something else, something presumably far more sinister. He's not this bad and this should even itself out at some point.  Maybe.

Got it.

Now for Disciples of Uecker:

The problem for Parra is the 6th inning. Parra has made it to the 6th inning in 16 games (including, I believe, one relief appearance). He has recorded 29 outs in these 16 games, allowing 18 earned runs, 25 hits, and 16 walks while striking out 15. I think it’s fair to say that Manny has “lost it” in the sixth inning on multiple (almost every?) occasion in which he’s had the chance.

The previous five innings are pretty good. 79 innings pitched, 40 ER (4.56 ERA), 81 Ks, 36 BBs. The only black spot is 13 HRs, and that’s a number that will likely regress, as Parra’s HR/FB rate is a career high this season. I’m hard pressed to explain why Parra struggles so mightily in the sixth inning. This isn’t an isolated issue for 2010, either – he has a 9.20 ERA in the sixth inning for his career.

So Manny Parra is an average to above average pitcher before the fifth inning then the wheels come off and he totally sucks. Got it.

See? Some times advanced statistics can prove exactly what we thought about people all along. Manny Parra is an underachiever who hasn't improved during his time with the team who gives up too many hits and homeruns despite being really good at striking people out. Also, he sucks after the fifth inning. I wonder if there's an advanced statistic that proves how easy your mom is.

It's hard not to hate him for this. He's talented, he's not working to get better and he's kind of good looking. He's everything I hate! It's like looking in a mirror! A mirror of self hate! He ruined my life!

Still, maybe we shouldn't hate him. I mean, he might figure it out one day and then it would be all weird between us. We should try not to hate him. We don't have to like him, but we should at least try and get along. Like I did with my mom and my new stepdad. Actually, that's a bad example. I still hate that asshole.

Anyway, here's five reasons not to have Manny Parra. Continue reading →


31
Aug 10

The real reason Carlos Gomez doesn’t play

Yesterday for the fifth straight game Carlos Gomez was not in the starting lineup for the Milwaukee Brewers. There are many theories as to why this is. Some point to his comments about Lorenzo Cain when he said:

"I'm the best centerfielder on the team. But Lorenzo is doing a really good job for the last two weeks and it's not fair for me to come off the DL and take his chance. I understand. He is a really good player, but I think I'm still the man on this team."

That would make sense. Others simply point to his horrendous .229/.286/.348 line and compare them to... anybody and it makes perfect sense why he's not been playing.

The debate as to whether Gomez should or shouldn't play, or should or shouldn't be re-signed is something that has been discussed heavily in the Brewer community over the past few weeks. However, it's hard to discuss these sorts of things if you don't know all of the facts.

Luckily, we have all the facts. Luckily, we have sources within the Brewers to let us know why certain things happen. We know why Carlos Gomez hasn't been playing and lucky for you we're not above betraying our sources to tell you why. Continue reading →


30
Aug 10

Miller Park Drunk’s Finest Hour

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party was a huge success. It seemed like everyone who came wanted to have a good time and I think that everyone there got exactly what they wanted and more. There were little problems here and there, but none of it ended up having an effect on anyone's good time and that's all you can really ask for.

The party started right when people were allowed in the park at 10 AM (nearly half the party showed up right at ten on the dot) and didn't stop for some until about the third inning when a combination of the kegs being empty and the cops telling us to go inside did the party in. (Honestly, this was probably for the best.)

While lasting at most four hours, the party (not including the game which was also nice, Braun was 4 for 4 with a homerun and a broken arm) had a little bit of everything and in some ways was a perfect representation of this site and what we try to do around here. If you wanted to talk about baseball the whole time, you could do that. If you wanted to get really drunk, you could do that and if you wanted stuff your face with ballpark food, you could that too. There was a little something for everyone and great times were had. I honestly can't picture it working out any better than it did.

I'd like to thank everyone that came and participated. I just brought everyone together, but you all did as much to make it fun as anyone else. I can't thank you enough. Everyone had their party pants on yesterday and the party was better for it. I'd also like to thank a few people specifically:

- Ryan: For being an amazing cook and keeping the food flowing throughout the park. This party wouldn't have been half as good without the spread he created and executed.
- Larry from wezen-ball: Who did just as much to promote this party and get people to come as I did. I don't know why he did it, but I'm glad he did.
- The girls with the personalized shirts: For bringing the fun and keeping everyone involved. Lucky guy I am to have friends like you.
- Tyler Maas: For being an endless source of comedy, intentionally and unintentionally, for the entirety of the party.

I put in a lot of work to pull this party off, but in the end the entire thing came off completely effortless and fun. It was just a good time for everyone and that's why I can't wait for next time and neither can anyone else. (Coming in 2011, Pants Party 2: Electric Boogaloo.) There will be a next time next season and when it happens I expect at least 90% of the people who were there yesterday to return for the squeakquel and in the end that's the best thing I can say about it.

Also, this happened. Continue reading →


18
Aug 10

500 years ago today the Brewers pitching didn’t suck

Let's take a break from talking about Dylan Covey and how much an idiot he is. Why would we want to talk about someone who after being diagnosed with diabetes turned down $2 million dollars? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH INSULIN THAT COULD BUY?! Enough to get you high, I bet. It's not like there is any risk of him being injured in the next two years before he is eligible to be drafted again and thus lose the perceived value he currently has. It's not like he could have an adverse reaction to his diabetes treatment and never be a good pitcher again. (See, why complain about this? Things could go wrong. His family is stupid for telling him not to do this, but they are the ones really missing out. He's just as likely to become a diabetes stricken Matt Bush as he is to be a diabetes stricken Yovani Gallardo. High school pitchers got some risk, dog.)

Instead, let's talk about something that happened 500 years ago today. A time when the Brewers actually had good pitching and actually won some games. It was a better time. To the email inbox!

I'm Chris Jaffe, a writer for The Hardball Times website and I just wrote a little blurb you & your readers might like: a half-century ago today (8/18), was one of the best pitched games in Milwaukee history.

http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/blog_article/a-half-century-ago-today-8-18-10/

Sounds like a good read. I think I'll open it in a new tab and read it in a few days.

Until then I am just going to assume that the Brewers beat the Braves that day and won when Bob Uecker hit a walk off homerun off of Jamie Moyer. After the game Uecker and the rest of the team headed downtown to celebrate, but it was during prohibition so they were only able to drink root beer and eat baked beans. It was a different time.

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