Yearly Archives: 2011

Your 2011 Awesomely Bad Milwaukee Brewers jokes

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Who doesn't like a good pun? More importantly, who doesn't love a bad pun?

Baseball can be kind of a boring game in between all the really exciting things that happen. There is a lot of time for conversation and with conversation comes jokes. Good jokes, dirty jokes and most of all bad jokes will be strewn across Miller Park this year more than Miller Lites. You will hear a lot of jokes at the park this year, but almost none of them will be good. You have to learn to expect them so that you aren't caught off guard by them. You need to be prepared for the polite laugh you are sure to give the co-worker you don't really like that much or the lonely uncle who offered to buy your ticket. Luckily for you, we have the inside track on the hottest bad jokes for 2011. We can see them coming before the bad joke teller can and we're going to share them with you right here. Preparation is the key to success. Or something. Continue reading »

Opening Day? [ad]

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Are you a sucker like me who missed out on Opening Day tickets and now find yourself forced to buy tickets off of the secondary market? Doesn't it suck? I mean, most of the people at the game aren't even going for their love of the Brewers. They're going to drink. Most of them won't even make it in for the first inning. Hell, I know some people are going just because they heard the Packers are going to be there. What the hell is that all about? In many ways Opening Day is a lot like New Year's Eve aka amateur night. People like us go to bars year round, but all the people who don't come out on New Year's Eve and act like idiots. WOOOO! The calendar year has changed by one! We are all one step closer to death! YAY! Who gives a crap? Act like an adult. (Says the guy who did a keg stand in his boxers.) Still, Opening Day holds a certain allure and I don't want to miss it. It's a fun time when the Brewers play their first game at home and I've been for the past few years. I want to go again.

So, the secondary market it is. For pretty much every game for the rest of the season I can end up going to the game for less than face value, but for this one I have to pay over market value for tickets. What to do? Continue reading »

Let’s pick John Axford’s new closer music

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I've been following the voting for John Axford's 2011 closer music closely now for a couple of weeks and now it is down to the final four. Each choice offers its owns benefits and each choice has its drawbacks, but they are all decent. The thing is that this is a really important decision. John Axford is 28 years old and if all goes well he could end up being the Brewers closer for the next 5-10 years. We could be stuck with this song for a long, long time. That's why it's important that we choose it ourselves and because I did such a good job when I personally selected Todd Coffey's entrance music, you should do what I say because I know my stuff.

What we should be looking for is a song that won't get old, but also a song that builds us up to a point where we want to scream our brains out. Something that gets the adrenaline pumping for the final three outs so we can get the win and go drink some more. That's what it's all about. Now, let's see what we're working with. Continue reading »

A Guide to Recognizing Your Brewer Injuries

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This week we all learned about Zack Greinke's basketball related injury that will keep him out for 4-6 weeks and delay his Brewers debut by a few weeks. It isn't the end of the world, but at the same it's not exactly what we had in mind for our new superstar and it sucks. What sucks even more is that Zack Greinke isn't the only Milwaukee Brewer currently experiencing an injury. In fact, there are quite a few of them and it's getting to the point where it's hard to keep up with all of them. That's why we decided to do the Milwaukee Brewers Universe a favor and create a comprehensive guide to all the aches and pains currently ailing the home town team. What can we say? We aim to please. Continue reading »