08
Mar 11

Milwaukee Brewers learn that white men can’t jump the hard way

Zack Greinke hasn't looked good thus far in his first spring training with the Milwaukee Brewers. I figured this was because it was spring training and it doesn't really matter, but unfortunately that wasn't the case and he has actually been nursing a rib injury since the beginning of spring training. How was the rib injury sustained, you ask? Was he signing too many autographs for his new Brewers fans? No. Was he working out extra hard to get back into Cy Young award winning form for his new team? No. Was he doing an extreme version of the Zack Greinke dance? Sadly, no.

No, Zack Greinke got his rib injury playing basketball. Going for a rebound. For real. I'm not kidding. Our savior thinks he's Tom frickin' Gugliotta.

To make matters worse "rib injury" is actually a poor way to describe what Zack Greinke is suffering with because he actually has a BROKEN RIB and a CRACKED RIB. You know, no big deal. It's not like pitchers need their ribs or anything. It's only the worst news to ever happen in the history of baseball. Continue reading →


22
Feb 11

Milwaukee Brewers prepared for the best spring training ever

Spring training has begun for the Milwaukee Brewers and excitement has reached an all-time high. With the trades for Yuniesky Betancourt and Shaun Marcum; the team, fans, management and everyone in Wisconsin has expectations through the roof. It might sound crazy to say, but this might just be the most important spring training of our lives.

Or it could be just like every other spring training. A lot of stupid questions, terrible speculation and a whole bunch of BS. For example, check out what Ryan Braun recently had to say about new manager Ron Roenicke. Keep in mind Ryan Braun had been in spring training for an entire day before making this statement.

It’s a thousand times different now. The whole atmosphere, the whole environment is much more positive. There’s just an aura of excitement. When you walk in here, you can literally feel the difference. We can all sense it and it’s exciting. The more positive your work environment is, the more conducive it is to accomplishing anything you can to be successful. He was really positive and optimistic and he was a great communicator. I think those things are something we all look for in a leader and a manager.

Really, Ryan? You gained all of that from one day?

(I secretly hope that Roenicke was just saving his negativity until today's first full practice so we can see Ryan Braun come out and say "Yeah, so, Roenicke's kind of a dick.")

Still, he said it so it's out there now. The Brewers are now in a better, more positive atmosphere and even better Ryan Braun is in the BEST SHAPE OF HIS LIFE.

So we can cross "_______ is in the best shape of his life" and "this year feels different/everything is better" off of our spring training story to do list. What else can we cross off? Continue reading →


10
Feb 11

2011 Milwaukee Brewers Bobbleheads: No Gallardo, lots of grit (and white people)

The Milwaukee Brewers recently released their 2011 promotional schedule and along with it came the announcement of who would be getting a bobblehead. There are a few surprises, Randy Wolf when almost everyone thought his signing was a bust (it wasn't, but that's the belief out there) is one great example, but no head scratchers. Unless you count Craig Counsell who had a OPS+ of 76 last year and hasn't once been a starting player unless there was an injury, but there are reasons for him beyond statistics. There are reasons for everyone really.

Date Bobblehead Expected Reason
April 24 John Axford Doug Melvin's rule that at least one Canadian get a bobblehead. Also, white.
May 22 Casey McGehee JS MVP, white.
June 12 Zack Greinke Duh.
July 10 Hot Dog Whitest of all racing sausages.
August 14 Craig Counsell Is named Craig Counsell. Also, white.
September 25 Randy Wolf Brewers had to get their $30 million worth somehow. Also, white.

A lot of people have a problem with these selections because there is a disturbing lack of the "good" Brewers. No Prince or Braun for the 85th time, no Rickie Weeks or Corey Hart who had huge seasons last year and no Yovani Gallardo who has actually never had a bobblehead made in his likeness by the Milwaukee Brewers. It's weird right? It reminds of 2009 when Jason Kendall got one over Mike Cameron despite being worse in every way. To find the answer I went to another blogger who seems to be an expert in these things. I use the term "blogger" lightly because his blog isn't actually up yet and he only has a twitter account, but on this particular topic I think he knows his stuff. So take it away, KuKluxBrewKrew. Continue reading →


04
Feb 11

Super Bowl XLV Preview

The Green Bay Packers play the Pittsburgh Steelers in the XLVth Super Bowl this Sunday and everyone is talking about it. You can't walk two feet without seeing something green, hearing about Aaron Rodgers or noticing someone in a Steelers sweatshirt that you had never seen them in before. Everyone has changed their facebook profile picture to a Packers player instead of themselves which, honestly, is a nice replacement for the self portrait they took with their cell phone camera. Most of the people I know can tell me, down to the minute, when the game starts. It's insane. You'd think that one of these teams was from Milwaukee. (What? Green Bay is where now? -Ed.)

I realize that it's completely pointless to try and mention the Milwaukee Brewers in this space until at least Tuesday. (If you really want to know my feelings on the Mark Kotsay signing look at this graph.) For one thing, they haven't even started spring training yet. For another, PACKERSPACKERSPACKERSPACKERSPACKERS. So if you can't beat them join them. I may not be an expert on the Green Bay Packers, but I am an expert on watching television, eating and drinking. We also know a bit about gambling, 8-2 in the playoffs, and are going for the Packers on Sunday. There is money at stake, we're just as excited as you are. We basically know everything you need to know about Sunday and that's why we are here to bring you...

MILLER PARK DRUNK'S GUIDE TO THE SUPER BOWL

Continue reading →


25
Jan 11

Go Steelers?

The Green Bay Packers are going to the Super Bowl!!!

This is an exciting time for everyone in Wisconsin with even a passing interest in football and the next two weeks are going to be all football, all the time. The team that has dominated the Wisconsin sports landscape for the past 100 years will now attempt to take full control of our minds and souls with a win in the Super Bowl. A trip to the Super Bowl is huge, but what does it mean to us? What does it mean to you? What does it mean to the Brewers? Continue reading →

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