Fans of John Axford may know that he is quite the film buff. On twitter this weekend he had a lot to say about the Oscars and correctly picked 11 out of 13 winners. He majored in film in college at Notre Dame and even shot his own 16MM film with some friends while they were there. His love affair with film doesn't stop there either. In an interview with Adam McCalvy, John said that he has "lots of stories" in his head and foresees himself taking a shot at film in the future.
What you may not know is that John Axford has already started preparing for his post-baseball career in Hollywood. In fact, we have recently acquired a few pages from John Axford's spec script that he has been working on during the offseason. I can't 100% confirm it's validity, but it was sent to me by someone who identified themselves to me as "one of johns bros from notre dam bro" so I think it's pretty legit.
So this is something that is actually happening in real life right now...
Stephanie: I, as are many of you, am riding high on Braun winning his appeal Thursday and then him absolutely crushing his statement Friday. (Did you guys see his hair? And that navy blue button down jacket thing with all of the pockets? Am I starting to like this new Braun?) But then Vince brought me back down to Earth and by Earth I mean a special Hell on Earth where Milwaukee Brewer themed suede pumps are a thing.
The website reads, “PLEASE BE CERTAIN YOU WANT THESE SHOES BEFORE YOU BUY. Due to demand, these shoes are currently available by Pre-Order ONLY.”
What stupid twats are ordering those fucking things? I love the Brewers with my entire being, but I do not want to wear high heels plastered with blue and yellow to a baseball game (you all know my thoughts on heels at the ballpark by now). Oh and they are suede! SUEDE!! Do you know what beer does to suede?? Well you are gonna find out when you wear them to opening day, dickholes.
I guess, we must now begin to mentally prepare ourselves for the parade of fat chicks we will see waddling into Miller Park wearing these heels with jean skirts this summer.
Vince: These heels are kind of conflicting to me. I mean, not liking the Brewers is like number three on Vince's Oh No-No's List (I learned my lesson on that one (that intro..ugh.)) I need to be with someone who loves this team at least 1/10th as much as I do. A girl wearing these heels would be a good sign that she might be worthy of hanging with vintown. On the other hand, oh my god are you frickin' kidding me? The only people who should own these heels are the kind of people who let their kids dress them before a night out on the town. Pink bra? Sure! White tank top? Sure! Brewers heels? Sure! These girls don't care what they look like, they only care that they are wearing clothes and that those clothes are covering their naughty parts (but not too much, wink wink.)
Actually, you know what, I'm sorry there is one other type of person who would like to own these. Really weird roleplaying sex perverts. If you want your wife/girlfriend to dress up like Ryan Braun on your birthday and play a couple rounds of bat and ball with you, that's your business. Buy these heels and never break up with her because she is ruined for the rest of humanity.
Look, I love the Brewers. LOVE the Brewers and the idea of a down ass bitch wearing her Brewers pride on her sleeve (feet?) is appealing to me, but this is just too far. This isn't Nam. This is fashion. There are rules.
Ryan Braun will not be missing 50 games due to a suspension after winning his appeal against the MLB. This is the best news Brewers fans have received in months. The good guys won. This is awesome, awesome news. This is a reason to celebrate as Evan Rytlewski was kind enough to point out:
Personally, this is the happiest non-game day excited I have been for the Brewers since the Zack Greinke trade. I smiled, I called or texted all of my friends and I did a little dance around the apartment. It was a good day for me. There isn't going to be a need for any "oh wait til we get Ryan Braun back" conversations or blog posts that I wasn't looking forward to having/doing. Now that Ryan Braun has been exonerated on all charges we can finally put this whole ordeal behind us and move on with what really matters:
drinking baseball. Right? Read the rest of this entry »
Is it still proper to wear my Prince Fielder jerseys to Miller Park? My view is he gave so many great years of his career here, and many memorable moments. Obviously, one of the top Brewers of All-Time. So I say I am ok with wearing them, and I wouldn't pass judgement on others who do the same (but really people, the John Jaha ones have to go). What are your views on this MPD? - John
Is this a joke? Prince Fielder is a Detroit Tiger. The ink on his contract isn't even fresh and you want to honor his contributions to the team? Get a grip. Save that shit til 2020 when they give him a bobblehead and add him to the Walk of Fame.
I think people who think it's okay with wearing the jerseys of people who leave the team (the very next season, no less) are the same kind of people who think it's better to be friends with your ex instead of never talking to them again. What's the point? We got what we wanted out of them, had some good times and then things went south and you moved on. Prince Fielder is a Detroit Tiger, he doesn't love you anymore, it's time to move on. Read the rest of this entry »
After thinking Ryan Braun looked so good yesterday the Fashion Police return to find Braunie Remetee-ing it up again.
Tyler: I'm going to tap out at 3 photos. I don't know how much more I can write about Ryan Braun's fashion sense this lifetime.
Stephanie: There is absolutely nothing positive I can say about this. Oh wait, at least his hair is short here? This is the worst out of all of his outfits thus far. It combines all the worst elements of a wardrobe; dbag t-shirt, embellished man jeans and some odd pinstripe suit coat. The only explanation is that he was all strung out on LimeLite and Valtrex when he decided on wearing this outfit. Read the rest of this entry »