13
Feb 12

The many styles of Ryan Braun, part one

 

What would fashion week be without judgement on the way people are dressed?

Vince: Before I get into the audacity of this outfit I would like to point out that this picture was taken when Ryan Braun helped the Milwaukee Bucks pick their new cheerleaders for the 2011-2012 season meaning that A.) Ryan Braun dressed like this knowing he would be photographed and B.) Ryan Braun dressed like this knowing he would be in the presence of a ton of hot girls that he could totally hook up with if he wanted to. I am not sure which part of that statement makes me angrier. I am trying to think of something I can say about that shirt besides "it looks like something a gay guy would wear," but I am having trouble because, seriously, it looks like something a gay guy would wear. Am I missing something? Is the top of my shirt looks like it got faded by bleach look in this year? Continue reading →


13
Feb 12

What The Hell Am I Going To Wear To The Game? Female Edition

With opening day vastly approaching we must discuss the topic that plagues women season after season: what the hell am I going to wear to the game? I don’t know about you but the goal of my game day outfit is to (obviously) support the team, look cute and be comfortable enough to do one or seven beer bongs in the parking lot before first pitch. However, from spending many of my summer days at Miller Park I have noticed that not all girls share this thought. Some girls have absolutely no clue what they are doing while others were clearly dropped on their head as a baby, but don't worry it's going to be okay. I’m here to calm your fashion nerves so you are ready for the 2012 baseball season.

There really is a wide range of options you can do for a day or night at the ballpark. Don’t overthink it. Overthinking an outfit will lead to you being very matchy-matchy and having an over styled look. Baseball games are fun and carefree so the clothes you are wearing should be as well.

You know what is not carefree? Wearing a tight dress and heels to the game, the only exception to wearing an outfit like that is being married to a player or being a hooker…or both. But at every game there will be those damn 20-something year old chicks wearing a bandage dress and stilettos. And of course, by that trollop’s side will be her goateed boyfriend wearing a shirsey of some player who was traded in 2006. Naturally, he will also be holding her baseball helmet full of cheese fries so she doesn’t look fat. Don’t be that couple. Please don’t be that couple. Continue reading →


13
Feb 12

Welcome to Miller Park Drunk Fashion Week

One of the funniest things about the "Brewers blog scene" is the way everyone becomes completely obsessed with the little things that don't matter (John Axford's mustache, Ryan Braun's hair, Nyjer Morgan in general) and the way it really pisses some people off. I understand both points, although I admit I don't really understand them at times, but I do feel like I get them. Ryan Braun's hair is a thing that needs to be talked about (because seriously, what the heck?), but does it need to be talked about by the guys who I go to for my sabermetric analysis? Sometimes you just want the numbers, you know? Save the Nyjer talk for the bar.

This is why I have always tried to avoid labeling this site or being too numbers-y. When we write about mustaches we don't want it to make anyone mad. That's just not who I am or what I want my site to be. The goal of this site has always been to be a site that Brewers fans find entertaining. We write about the Brewers a lot, but we're not trying to be. We're trying to be a site for Brewers fans. We want to make you laugh, make you think (we're cool) and just be a fun site to read. Maybe sometimes we don't update for a month, but that's because we don't want to be un-entertaining. We like to cover what you're thinking about and when we're not doing that we just want to entertain.

My point is this: some sites talk about Nyjer Morgan/Ryan Braun's hair/John Axford's mustache/Corey Hart's tattoos and it doesn't fit, but at this site we don't have that problem. We can talk about those things and it fits because that's just what we do and have always done. So before the season gets started we wanted to take a week to celebrate that kind of talk before the actual playing of the baseball takes over our lives. We want to make fun of the way Ryan Braun dresses, talk about how you dress and take a closer look at some of the Brewers' wives. It's what we do. I think you'll like it. Have we ever let you down before?

Now let's meet the boys and girl who will be guiding you through this week of dresses, handbags, two button suits and Ryan Braun. Continue reading →


09
Feb 12

If Ryan Braun Is Innocent

Much has been written about the fate of Ryan Braun's appealed 50-game suspension. Most of it is peppered in an altogether negative (or as some call it, "realistic") overtone. We've touched on it. Articles routinely mention that Major League Baseball has never overturned a PED-related suspension. Milwaukee's front office has added personnel in the instance the team's MVP is a rendered a spectator for the season's first two months. After giving Brewers fans some hope with positive remarks about Braun's test a few weeks ago, even Cousin's Subs spokesperson/kind-of sports pundit Dan Patrick slunk away from his comments and returned to his normal show protocol (of interviewing Adam Sandler about the latest cinematic stillbirth he let Patrick have a scene in).

We need Braun back in uniform and out of... this.So, yeah, things seem bleak.

Even though we've been given little in the way of hope for an overturned suspension, it's still technically possible. Frankly, I'm not entirely confident in it happening. I expect most of you feel the same. But if you could risk you delicate heart and just suspend your disbelief for a moment, I'd like to prepare you for the butterfly effect (shitty movie, right?!) of events what might happen if Ryan Braun is, in fact, found innocent of any wrongdoing.
Continue reading →


08
Feb 12

If Ryan Braun is guilty…

And still, we wait.

I don't know about anyone else, but I am having trouble living my day to day life without worrying about the fate of Ryan Braun. I have a kid and a job and tons of friends (okay, two) and like life responsibilities, but the potential suspension of a baseball player is dominating my thoughts and crushing my dreams. Most nights I just put a "Free Ryan" tshirt on my Japanese pillow Kimiko and cry myself to sleep. It's rough because seriously, what if Ryan Braun is guilty? What if he is really gone for 50 games? What is going to happen? What are we going to do?

I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to... Continue reading →

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