27
Jun 12

The Man They Call Zack

The bright spots in the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers season have been few and far between. There's Ryan Braun somehow being better without Prince Fielder or PEDs (joke!), there's George Kottaras' emergence as the premier lothario of Milwaukee, there was Jonathan Lucroy, there's Aoki and then there is... uhh.. hmm... Well, that's about it really. There is almost nothing to warm you up and think that everything is going to be okay. Nothing that makes you belive this team can turn it around. Nothing that makes you sit back and say "I love baseball. I love the Brewers." I mean, nothing besides Zack Greinke at least.

For the past month Zack Greinke has been everything we dreamed he could be two winters ago. He has been an unstoppable, sophisticated pitching robot sent from the future to strikeout batters and change the future for one lucky lady. Every fifth day has been like sex and pastrami at the same time for Brewers fans. He's already posted a 3.6 WAR (wins above replacement) compared to his 3.9 last season. He's in line for an All-Sta Game start and on the shortlist for Cy Young contenders. Zack Greinke has been surreal, god-like, amazeballs and every other word you can think of to describe extreme awesomeness. We should be absolutely living the dream right now. Strutting around town in our Zack Greinke shirseys listening to "You're The Best" by Joe Esposito on replay forever. We should be writing songs about him.

Zack!
The Man they call Zack!
We robbed from the Royals and he gave us some more,
He stood up to the man and he gave him what for.
Our love for him now, aint hard to explain,
The hero of Milwaukee,
The Man They Call Zack!

Unfortunately, that's not happening. Instead, Brewers fans who consider this season to be lost are calling for the Brewers to trade Zack Greinke and that gives me a sad face. See? :( Continue reading →


26
Jun 12

Blame it on the bullpen

I will not admit that this Brewers season is over because we're probably going to see a NL Wild Card that wins 85 games and that number does not seem impossible and I will not give up on the Brewers season because, seriously, what else am I going to do for the next three months? With that being said I will say that this season has still been incredibly disappointing, no fun and not at all what we thought it would be. But what did we really think it would be?

Vegas set the Brewers pre-season over/under win total at 84.5. They weren't ever going to be a team that ran away with the division. Did last season's 96-66 record distort our expectations? Probably, but we should always remember that team had +6 wins over it's Pythagorean record (or expected record) and was a league best 30-18 in one run games. Those are two things that are really hard to repeat. For the Brewers to make a return trip to the playoffs this year they once again need a lot of things to go right and thus far this season almost nothing has. This isn't a lack of "drive" or a team that doesn't "mentally have it", this is baseball. You play more games than any other sport and less teams make the playoffs than any other sport. A lot has to go right for any team to succeed.

Thus far they haven't succeeded and a lot of reasons have been thrown around as to why. Here are a few of the most popular:

  • Rickie Weeks. :(
  • Injuries, man. Injuries.
  • Not clutch.
  • Offense is worse than last season.
  • Randy Wolf.
  • The bullpen.

And while there have been a myriad of problems with this season there really is only one thing that has kept the Brewers from being "in it" and that thing is the bullpen. No, seriously, it's not Rickie Weeks. It's the bullpen. It's not injuries. It's the bullpen. That's it. Seriously. Continue reading →


19
Jun 12

As The Weeks Turns

Rickie Weeks is having a rough season. (Wait, that's not right.)

Rickie Weeks is having a really bad season. (You know what? That doesn't work for me either.)

Rickie Weeks is having the worst f*cking season you could ever f*cking imagine and it really f*cking sucks. (Much better.)

I'm sure it's been very hard for Rickie Weeks because it's not like he's been playing all that differently. A quick glance at his Fangraphs page shows no huge glaring difference (besides his swing percentage, but even that is just a couple points off) and watching the games it doesn't look like he's doing anything different. He just doesn't seem to be getting any hits, ever. It sucks and as a dude who once photoshopped a bunch of Childish Gambino lyrics on pictures of Rickie Weeks it really sucks. I love that dude.

The question of "what to do about Rickie Weeks?" is something that Brewers fans really love to talk about. Some people want him benched or cut or traded or something else just to get him away from the team. It's hard to blame these people because there have been times where it's been easier to look at Snooki's vag pics than it is to watch him play. I get where you're coming from haters, but you are completely wrong on this one because if the Brewers are going to do anything this season it is going to be because of Rickie Weeks. Continue reading →


16
Jun 12

Pants Party 2 is one month away!

We are now one month away from Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party 2 and somehow there are still tickets available. I don't know why. It's a great deal and you get to drink with some of the coolest people around (and Tyler.) We're drinking, we're eating, we're playing games and we're giving a ton of stuff away in a raffle. It's going to be a good time. So why aren't we sold out?

Well, I have a theory. You see about a year ago I broke up with my girlfriend and somehow thought writing terrible blog posts would get her back. (It didn't. Thank god.) What I didn't think of at the time was that I sounded like a total pussy and a year later nobody would want to come to my Pants Party because they think I have no balls. Seriously, look at this:

Not trying to get too "inside baseball" here, but the truth is that when you stop being yourself you stop being someone that people like to spend time with. Being "the" Miller Park Drunk all the time was a stupid goal and I've changed in a way where that isn't what I want to do anymore, but that doesn't mean that I want to stop having great times at Brewers games.

(Excuse me I have to stab myself in the eye with a lead based pencil a few times. Be right back.) Continue reading →

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