30
Aug 13

Goodbye John Axford

johnaxfordmusicCan you think of a better pitcher in Brewers history than John Axford?

Lots. Tons and tons of them. My browser just crashed there were so many search results.

Can you think of a better reliever in Brewers history than John Axford?

Most definitely. He had his stretches, but there have been others who have matched them and others who have beat them. (I think. I didn't really do the research on this one.)

Can you think of a better closer in Brewers history than John Axford?

Sure. Despite being second on the Brewers all-time saves list, the last two years have basically erased the idea that John Axford is or was an awesome closer (even though he really was for a minute.) The idea of "awesome closer" is admittedly a stupid kind of thing, but he was pretty dominant at one point. The best? You'll have to go through something called Doug Henry first, pal.

Can you think of a cooler guy in Brewers history than John Axford?

Probably not. Continue reading →


24
Aug 13

Fans React to A Letter From Ryan Braun

Letter to the fans of the Milwaukee Brewers:

I have always been very grateful for the privilege of playing baseball in the great city of Milwaukee.

diswank

I am so sorry for letting you down by being in denial for so long and not telling the whole truth about what happened.

braunjudy

I am ashamed and extremely embarrassed by the decisions I made. There are no excuses for what I did and I take full responsibility for my actions.

braunmchale

I apologize to all Brewers fans for disappointing you.

braunpotter

I came forward because I knew it was time for me to tell the truth and accept my punishment.

braunbryan

I understand I have abused your trust and that of our great owner Mark Attanasio and the entire Brewers organization.

braundog

Admitting my mistakes and asking for your forgiveness are the first steps in what I know will be a lengthy process to prove myself to you again.

braunduhhhhh

It is an honor to represent the people of Wisconsin by wearing a Brewers uniform.

braunpunk

I want all of you to know how much I have appreciated the support I've received from so many of you throughout my years with the organization.

braunhills

I will continue to work on improving myself and making amends for what I have done.

braunfingerbang

I am deeply sorry for my actions and I apologize to everyone I have let down. I am committed to doing everything I can to earn back your trust and support.

braundietcokegrl

Sincerely,

Ryan Braun

braunshrug


16
Aug 13

What a difference four years makes

Four years ago the Brewers were coming off their first playoff season in forever, Ryan Braun owned the city, the sun was shining, the skies were blue, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and all was right with the world. The Brewers were embarking on their 40th anniversary season and were held up as an example of how to do things right. The Brewers built a playoff team through smart drafting and Ryan Braun was the clean, talented future face of the game. It was a simpler time, really. braundog2

Meanwhile, on the other side of the country Alex Rodriguez was mired in a steroid controversy. Shocking, I know. While Braun was becoming one of the most popular baseball players in the game, he felt the need to stand by his friend who just so happened to be one of it's most hated.

"Everybody makes mistakes, and I'm not the type of person that's going to change my opinion about who he is just because he made a mistake," Braun said. "I wouldn't just disassociate myself with somebody just because he made a mistake. I don't think anybody is perfect, and I don't think he's ever pretended to be perfect."

Making a mistake and not being perfect... That sounds familiar, doesn't it?

"As I have acknowledged in the past, I am not perfect," Braun said. "I realize now that I have made some mistakes."

Oh yeah, that.

Look, I'm not here to vilify Braun for any of this stuff. Not again. If anything, I am over it. What I didn't realize at the time that it all went down is the way that the world would turn on Ryan Braun for this. You need to remember that whenever people get that upset over things then it probably isn't deserved. If people got as upset about the atrocities the government commits every single day as they did about Ryan Braun eating some fucking lozenges then we might actually get somewhere in this lifetime, but that's not the way life works. Not anymore. People only care about minute bullshit that doesn't matter in the long run and they let talking heads get into their brain and rot it away. Johnny Manziel parties and signs his name on a photograph. BAN HIM FOR LIFE! Get lost with that stuff. Use your brains. Why can't college kids make money when universities make billions? Why are steroids even illegal? Why is weed illegal? Why do we have laws that stop people from doing what they want to do?

Okay, I'll get off my libertarian anarchist soapbox and get back to my numberswiki.com

point which is this: what a difference four years makes. Four years ago Ryan Braun was defending Alex Rodriguez when the whole world was turning on him. Now? Alex Rodriguez is apparently the one who threw Ryan Braun under the bus as Ryan takes his place as most hated man in baseball. This is baseball. Continue reading →


01
Aug 13

Homestander: Buy Me Back

HomestanderEach Thursday preceding Brewers weekend home stands, Tyler Maas will help prepare fans for all elements of the upcoming series with the Homestander. Tyler prints Wisconsin-themed shirts at Forward Fabrics and contributes to such fine publications as Milwaukee Magazine and The A.V. Club Milwaukee. All views, naughty words and weirdo sentiments are his own. Follow him at @TylerJamesMaas.

The Brewers organization's decision to issue $10 vouchers to all fans in August is genius. Everything is so smart about it. When in the season the promotion is occurring; the fact that the savings equates to a possible $3.6M (approximately the money gained back from Ryan Braun's salary), the lack of fine print in regard to how and on what the voucher can be used. It's the perfect and self-aware response to a bad situation the team is in (primarily) due to poor judgement on behalf of one of its employees.

Some fans--the same turds who post videos of themselves burning Ryan Braun jerseys on YouTube and pen grammatically-weak sob stories about how their son lost a "role model" (You mean the dude comparing Ryan Braun to an alleged murder on the internet wasn't his original role model?) on comment boards--say $10 isn't enough to account for this lost season. To those fans, feel free to stay home. Miller Park doesn't need your negativity, self-doctored "Fraud" shirseys and drop-of-the-hat booing. Bad baseball played under an open roof by men named Gindl and Gennett in August after a blackout drunk tailgate sesh is still better than virtually everything on this stupid letdown planet.

If a $10 coupon isn't enough to buy back the fandom you so quickly abandoned at the first sign of trouble, stay home. More frozen margaritas, helmet cholesterol and elbow room for me. See you on opening day, when you quietly abandon your self-appointed Brewers strike you went on "until the Brewers CUT the LIER" (they're still contractually obligated to pay $113M to). I'll be the guy pointing and laughing at you when you try to start the wave at a pivotal moment in the game.

Continue reading →

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