Archive for 2014

MPD’s Guide To Life

Off-Base October 30th, 2014

There was a time in my life when Brewers baseball was the be-all, end-all of my life. It filled me with so much joy and so much excitement that there was nothing else I'd rather be watching/talking about/writing about/going to. Brewers baseball was my life and I loved it. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, those days are over and I've lost that loving feeling. Now it's gone.

cheers-sorryThe past few years of doing this blog have been pretty fun. I've met some great friends that I never really hang out with because of this blog. I've had some really great times with those people and others at the Pants Parties. It was fun to really consider myself as a "voice" in the ongoing Brewers seasons. Sometimes I was the voice of reason, sometimes I was the drunk guy at the end of the bar that you wish would shut up and other times I was the quiet one. Too often the quiet one who didn't blog for a month, really. I gained an insight into baseball (and sports and sports fans) that I might not have without this blog and that's awesome. I think I've become a better writer too.

Instead of keeping it open and saying "tonight I'm going to give it 35%" I've decided that tonight I am going to shut it all down. It's time for me to say goodbye, but not before I impart some wisdom on you.

There are many important life lessons that I have learned from maintaining a blog called Miller Park Drunk for nearly five and a half years. (WHAT? That number can't be correct.) Lessons that have made me a better friend, a better person, a better drunk. Lessons that I will now impart on to you in...

MILLER PARK DRUNK'S GUIDE TO LIFE

Read the rest of this entry »

Local Ned Yost Fan Somewhat Excited About The Royals

Baseball October 16th, 2014

ned-yostMilwaukee, WI-- As the Kansas City Royals reach their first World Series in nearly twenty years, local 34-year old Griffin Hogan told reporters Wednesday that he always knew this would happen and that the Brewers "totally dropped the ball on Yost," saying that he wishes they would've never let him go.

Hogan, who works mostly nights as a pizza delivery driver, said that after listening to parts of the Royals clinching win over the Orioles he thinks that Ned Yost may be the greatest manager in all of baseball.

"I only really heard the first inning and a little bit near the end, Wednesdays are kinda busy at the Pizza Man, but it just seemed like everything Yost did was working. He seems like a real baseball genius," said Hogan, who added that he usually goes to one or two Brewers games a year when he gets the free tickets from BP. "I haven't really been paying much attention to baseball over the past couple of years though. I'm more of a football guy, big time Packer fan over here. Is Ben Sheets still on the Brewers?"

"The thing I liked about Yost is that he played for the Brewers and then he coached them later on," Hogan told reporters, "I though that was really cool."

According to Hogan, the strategy that he used was good old fashioned baseball and it reminded him of the type of things they used to do on his little league team. "Back then," he remembered, "we'd do anything to score some runs. It didn't matter who was up or who was pitching, we just tried to score and if you could throw a strike, you could pitch. We really had no idea what we were doing, but it was fun."

Following the game, the local man was so excited that he went onto his Facebook page and posted "Way to go Royals! World Series! #YOSTED" The post received four likes and two comments, one which read "i thought u wre a Brewers fan dude" and another which read "hell yea!" At press time, Hogan had not responded to either comment.

"I didn't even know they were still playing baseball. How long does it go? I feel like when I was a kid the World Series was in like August. Is that right?" said a surprised Hogan, who admitted he was just looking for some Packers talk radio. "I like to listen to the callers and see what they have to say. I never call myself, but maybe one day I will. I've got a lot of strong opinions about Mike McCarthy. And don't even get me started on Dom Capers. They should've fired him years ago."

When asked if he will be watching the World Series to cheer for Yost and the Royals, Hogan said "If there aren't any Packers games on or any good songs on 102.1, I'll probably put it on the radio while I'm working," adding "It'd be cool for Yost to win, but I'm not like making special plans or anything."

Farewell My Love. Farewell Rickie Weeks.

milwaukee brewers October 15th, 2014

weeksnapWhen the Brewers played their last game of 2014 it was also the last game that Rickie Weeks will play for the Brewers. To some this will be good riddance. To others it's been a long time coming. To me? It's the end of an era.

Rickie Weeks has been my favorite Brewers since before he was a Brewer. It was Rickie Weeks being drafted number two overall that brought the Brewers back in to my mind when I lived faraway. It was write-ups on Baseball Prospectus about Weeks and the other baby Brewers that made me say things like "the Brewers are going to win the World Series in five years". It was going to see those guys play in a shitty minor league game in Mobile, Alabama. It was Rickie Weeks, for better or worse, who got me into all of this and it was Rickie Weeks who was my favorite baseball player. Read the rest of this entry »

The Back to School Brewers

milwaukee brewers October 14th, 2014

Well, it's that time of year again; time for the kids to go back to school. Football starts, fall comes and the kids go back to class. As a parent, I know how hard this can be. You not only have to go to crappy school concerts, help your kid with their stupid homework and get weird emails about Scott Walker from your kid's teacher, but you also lose out on a lot of important family time. Time when you can be teaching your kid to listen to you, to be a good person and, most importantly, not be a dickbag. Instead of spending time and learning with you, they go to school and spend their whole day with other shitty kids. Kids whose parents pack a $5 Footlong in their lunchbox and hope it lasts all week. Kids who will start selling weed in four years, start having kids of their own in five and start paying taxes never. Worse than that, they are also spending a ton of time with their teacher. There are (probably?) some good teachers out there who can help your kid become a better person, but most of them suck a bag of dicks. English majors who realized they couldn't do anything else with their degrees, guys who grew up with the goal of being a gym teacher (seriously, that's what they wanted to do with their lives on purpose), girls who are just biding time until someone gets them pregnant, old bags who need to die already and music/art/business teachers who failed so badly at their chosen passion that they ended up teaching it. Schools are pretty much the worst place for your kids to figure out how to be a decent person and your kid is definitely going to turn into an asshole by going to one. Which I suppose is better than growing up to be a serial killer like home schooled kids, but not by much.

~BUT WAIT~

What if I told you there was a way to send your kids to school and make sure they hear your positive messages?

What if I told you there was a way to do this without seeming overbearing, but by being cool and hip?

What if I told you that kids will be begging for it?

And that I am going to offer it free to you right now?

Is that something you'd be interested in? Read the rest of this entry »

Brewers 2014 Season in Review

milwaukee brewers October 13th, 2014

What a season! So much drama! So much excitement! So much baseball! So much shittiness and despair!

I never felt great about the season. Those first couple months were pretty cool, but it never felt quite right. There was just something.. off. It felt like the things that went right went a little too right, if that makes sense. They were good, but deep down I think that everyone knew that they weren't that good. In the end, they are who we thought they were.

Or at least who Doug Melvin thought they were. I've seen people calling for Melvin's head after this season, but that's really dumb. Why? Because this is a real-life conversation that Doug Melvin had with Mark Attanasio before the season:

 mark a Hey Doug, what kind of team do we have this year? World Series? Playoffs? I don't want to send another apology letter to the fans like last year. That was weird.
Doug Melvin My team puts us about 82-83 wins, so no Cup and I don't think we'll be going to playoffs either, eh? Sorry.

/eats a donut whole in one bite

mark a Anything I can do to fix that? I have lots of money that I am willing to spend. Some people say that I am a "fan's owner" who is willing to go above budget to put the best team on the field.
Doug Melvin If everything goes like poutine gravy, maybe. Bullpen would need to be amazing, starters would need to pitch amazing, players would need to out perform projections, a vintage Braun season, Gomez being MVP and no injuries then maybe. Maybe, eh? But I juts don't think we have enough shit kickers for it this year. Sorry. Sorry.
mark a Well, I trust you Doug. 82 wins is much better than last year so I'll take it. And just to be safe I am going to pick up Roenicke's option for 2015.
Doug Melvin  /sips Tim Horton's coffee

Wait, why?

mark a lol i dunno

That happened.

Did they think things might be different when they were riding high in first place in July? Sure! But Doug is smart enough to know the team's true talent level. He's smart enough to go to Fangraphs and look at the Playoff Odds. On the night of the trade deadline, the night they traded for Gerardo Parra, the Brewers had a 2 game lead in the division. Their odds winning the division? A a mere 31.2% compared to the Cardinals' 38.1%. Do you think Doug didn't know this? Do you think Doug didn't share this info with Mark Attanasio? You're lying to yourself. They knew this team's talent.

But what about Roenicke? Shouldn't he take the blame? Why didn't they fire his ass? Well, they already extended him for 2015 so if they fired him, they'd have to pay two managers. I'm guessing they don't want to pay two six figure salaries for one shitty job. (I say shitty job because clearly they can't hire a manager with a shred of creativity or the ability to think an inch outside of the box.) Second, you probably can't blame Ron Roenicke for that collapse. Why? Because...

This is Ron Roenicke during a 10-game winning streak:

Roenicke-brewers

And this is Ron Roenicke during a 10-game losing streak:

Roenicke-brewers

He doesn't know what the hell is going on. He is tangentially aware that a team is winning or losing more than the opposite, but he doesn't have anything to do with it. When people say that the manager can't control what the players do on the field, they are talking about Ron Roenicke. He writes names on a piece of paper, he makes a call to the bullpen and that's about it. He isn't Phil Jackson installing the Triangle Offense, he's a guy who writes names on a piece of paper. He is meaningless.

So, who's to blame? We have to blame SOMEONE. There is no way a team could go from first place to third and miss the playoffs in the final two months of the season without SOMEBODY being at fault. This sucked and SOMEONE has to pay. Who? Who do we blame? Who is the motherfucker who ruined my fall? Who deserves to get fired for this shit?

YOU

If you are pissed and calling for the head of someone from the Brewers, take a look in a mirror.

THIS IS YOUR FAULT

YOU are the one who thought the Cardinals and Pirates weren't going to make a run.

YOU are the one who thought Wily Peralta was for real.

THE BREWERS ARE DOING THE BEST THEY CAN

YOU are the one who made excuses for Lyle Overbay.

YOU are the one who cheered K-Rod.

RON ROENICKE IS A SMART, EDUCATED MAN

YOU are the one who believed.

YOU are the one who wished for this.

BLAME YOURSELF

THE_GOONIES-514

The Brewers will be back in 2015 for more baseball action! Stay tuned to brewers.com for more information on tickets, merchandise and Hank the Dog! Woof woof baseball!

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