Braun’s Big Day

Yesterday I had my first softball game of the season. It was a win for The People's Champs so that was nice, but words can't really describe how tired and sore I am. Maybe I should re-think this whole Miller Park Drunk, drinking beer and eating delicious foods lifestyle (pause for laughter). Yesterday was a pretty big day for me, but it really pales in comparison to the day of Ryan Braun.

Ryan Braun

/wakes up

/pisses excellent

Ryan Braun: Well I am off to the doctor for my MRI now.

20 minutes later...

DOCTOR: Ryan, there is nothing wrong with you.

Ryan Braun: Yay!

DOCTOR: In fact you are a perfect human being. You are what Hitler had in mind when he seeked to create a super-race, which is ironic because..

Ryan Braun: Sorry Doc, can't talk. I have to get to Pittsburgh.

/gets into car

Ryan Braun: Oh no I need gas.

/stops at gas station

GIRLS: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE ARE TOTALLY FREAKING OUT

/smiles

GAS STATION ATTENDANT: Don't worry Mister Braun, this one's on me!

Ryan Braun: Sweet!

/drives down the block, a mad woman runs up to his car

MAD WOMAN: My baby! My baby! Someone save my baby!

/runs into burning house

/saves baby

/smiles

/arrives at airport and gets on the plane

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: For your in flight movie we will be showing The Goonies.

Ryan Braun: Yeah!

Two hours later..

/checks cellphone, 1 new text message

DIGITAL KEN MACHA: we r down 2 we need u k? lol ttyl

Ryan Braun: I don't think he knows what lol means.

/arrives at ballpark instantaneously

/dresses in a matter of seconds

/pinch hits

/hits game-tying double

/smiles

[pic via CuteSports]

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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4 comments on “Braun’s Big Day

  1. Danielle on said:

    This can’t possibly be ridiculous when you go to the work of actually linking to a Twitter post.

  2. Anonymous on said:

    hilarious!!

  3. Anonymous on said:

    Hahah, this is awesome

  4. Pingback: Best of Miller Park Drunk 2009 | Miller Park Drunk

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