Yesterday I had my first softball game of the season. It was a win for The People's Champs so that was nice, but words can't really describe how tired and sore I am. Maybe I should re-think this whole Miller Park Drunk, drinking beer and eating delicious foods lifestyle (pause for laughter). Yesterday was a pretty big day for me, but it really pales in comparison to the day of Ryan Braun.
Ryan Braun: Well I am off to the doctor for my MRI now.
20 minutes later...
DOCTOR: Ryan, there is nothing wrong with you.
Ryan Braun: Yay!
DOCTOR: In fact you are a perfect human being. You are what Hitler had in mind when he seeked to create a super-race, which is ironic because..
Ryan Braun: Sorry Doc, can't talk. I have to get to Pittsburgh.
/gets into car
Ryan Braun: Oh no I need gas.
/stops at gas station
GAS STATION ATTENDANT: Don't worry Mister Braun, this one's on me!
Ryan Braun: Sweet!
/drives down the block, a mad woman runs up to his car
MAD WOMAN: My baby! My baby! Someone save my baby!
/runs into burning house
/arrives at airport and gets on the plane
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: For your in flight movie we will be showing The Goonies.
Ryan Braun: Yeah!
Two hours later..
/checks cellphone, 1 new text message
DIGITAL KEN MACHA: we r down 2 we need u k? lol ttyl
Ryan Braun: I don't think he knows what lol means.
/arrives at ballpark instantaneously
/dresses in a matter of seconds
/hits game-tying double
Tags: baby smiles, Beer, beers, braun, cars, champs, checks, delicious foods, drinking beer, drunks, flight attendant, game, Games, gas station attendant, goonies, hitler, laughter, lifestyle, lol ttyl, mad woman, Miller Park, pinch hits, plane flight, Ryan Braun, softball game, text message, texts, tires, yay