Brewers conference call

Hey, just because the season is over and the Brewers aren't able to hang out doesn't mean that they don't talk every once in awhile. In fact, I have it on good authority that a few members of the team get together every month and engage in a conference call just to catch up on what's going on with their lives. What a team of great guys! Being THE inside source for Brewers clubhouse news I was allowed to sit in on the latest clubhouse conference call and transcribe it for you gentle readers! Get excited!

prince fielder Yo, is everyone here?
alcides escobar Si.
casey mcgehee /grunts
rickieweeks Yep, yep.
corey hart You darn tootin' I'm here.
craigcounsell Yeah, I'm here. Why the heck you got so many zeroes in the phone number? Took me darn near ten minutes just to dial the number?
alcides escobar Qué quieres decir?
corey hart Craig's got one of dem dere rotary phones.
rickieweeks What the hell is a rotary phone? Is that like a Motorola or something?
alcides escobar Las personas mayores son estúpidos.
corey hart You got that right, good buddy.
prince fielder Okay, this should be everybody. Let's get started.
casey mcgehee /grunts
prince fielder Oh shit you're right, where is Brauny?
Ryan Braun YO ARE YOU GUYS THERE?!

/Soula Boy plays loudly in the background

Ryan Braun I'M IN THE CAR RIGHT NOW DRIVING WITH THE TOP DOWN. I AM GOING TO LA TO SHOOT A REMETEE COMMERCIAL WITH JON SALLEY AND THE GUY WHO PLAYED OGRE IN THE REVENGE OF THE NERDS MOVIES!
prince fielder Awesome.
Ryan Braun WHAT!?
prince fielder I SAID AWESOME! TURN DOWN YOUR MUSIC!
Ryan Braun I KNOW I LOVE SOULJA BOY TOO!
prince fielder Alright let's just move on. What's everyone else been up to? Anything exciting?
alcides escobar Me comuniqué con mi esposa e hija.
prince fielder Really? That's great!
alcides escobar Sí, les envió una carta que decía: SUCK IT
rickieweeks I have been healthy for like, a really long time, not even a cold or nothing!

/sneezes

corey hart Man, I took my wife to see that movie Blind Side and I ain't cried like that since my momma useta whip me. I always thought that dere Sandra Bullock was just a typical Yankee snob, but she really showed her true colors in that movie. I give it two thumbs up, heck I'll give it four if you count my toe thumbs.
casey mcgehee /grunts
corey hart I know! After seeing that movie I got half a mind to get me a colored boy for my wife for Christmas.
craigcounsell When I was growing up we owned a few coloreds. My mom would always say "stop feeding them scraps from the table, they got their own food", but I would say "Momma, one day President Lincoln is gonna free these folks and when that happens we need to be their friends, not their enemies."
alcides escobar Jesús, ¿cuántos años tienes?
craigcounsell Sorry Alcides no hablo Ingles. I've been having a great offseason. I recently re-signed with the Brewers for TWO THOUSAND dollars! I told my wife she just might get that prairie dress she's had her eye on for Christmas afterall.
Ryan Braun HANG ON GUYS I GOT ANOTHER CALL!

/pushes 3 key

YO THE SITUATION WHAT'S UP BRAH!?

prince fielder WRONG LINE RYAN!
Ryan Braun FO SHO, BRAH, FO SHO. TELL SNOOKIE WHATS UP FOR ME. AIGHT PEACE, BRAH.

SORRY GUYS, THAT WAS MY AGENT. WHAT YOU ALL WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?

craigcounsell Color TV.
corey hart A John Deere tractor, but I'd settle for going to see that Blind Side movie again. I wish Sandra Bullock was my momma, hot dog!
prince fielder The same thing I have wanted for the past 17 years. A triple cheeseburger. :(
alcides escobar Dos chicas al mismo tiempo.
casey mcgehee /grunts
prince fielder Wow, that's really noble of you Casey.
Ryan Braun I JUST REMEMBERED I AM JEWISH AND THEREFORE DON'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS. I AM GOING TO PRAY THAT I NEVER GET CAUGHT UP LIKE TIGER THO, FOR REAL.
prince fielder I don't have to worry about that, my stupid ass wife barely lets me leave the damn house. Oh crap, this is being recorded isn't it? I MEAN, I LOVE MY WIFE VERY MUCH AND SHE IS THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME. THERE IS NOWHERE I'D RATHER BE THAN HOME WITH HER AND THE KIDS.
corey hart I'd hate to get caught up with a Tiger, that's a vicious animal right dere. I reckon it's 'bout the third most dangerous animal behind a lyger and Bigfoot.
craigcounsell Remember that TV show, Harry and the Hendersons? Now that's why I call comedy.
corey hart Boy, you like comedy you should check out Jeff Dunham's show. Who knows what them damn crazy puppets gonna say next!
Ryan Braun I LIKE DANE COOK!
alcides escobar JORGE LOPEZ, POR LA VICTORIA!
rickieweeks Hey guys I think we should wrap this up.
corey hart Yeah, we all remember that time Prince and Manny started talkin' bout comedy.
Ryan Braun LET'S ALL SAY SOMETHING WE ARE THANKFUL FOR. I AM THANKFUL FOR REMETEE, SOULJA BOY, THE BREWERS AND MIKE CAMERON. HE WAS A GREAT TEAMMATE AND A GOOD INFLUENCE ON OUR TEAM. I WILL MISS HIM VERY MUCH.
corey hart I'm thankful for my wife, my kids, good grits, not being traded and that Blind Side movie. Dang, that movie was so good! I took my kids to go see it, but before we left I told them they had to dress up for it like we was going to church or Wal-Mart.
craigcounsell I'm thankful for all the gifts the Lord has given me including eternal life that I may play forever as the Brewers backup infielder and inevitably be forced into more playing time than originally intended at the beginning of the season.
rickieweeks I'm thankful that 2010 will be the year that I am not the one responsible for that happening.

/loud crashing noise, sounds of Rickie screaming

alcides escobar Patilla las mujeres blancas.
casey mcgehee /grunts
prince fielder Wow, I could not have said it better if I tried. You really know how to get to the core of me Casey.

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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6 comments on “Brewers conference call

  1. Anonymous on said:

    Casey is my new favorite charecter. Well done MPD

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention Brewers conference call | Miller Park Drunk -- Topsy.com

  3. Pingback: Brewers conference call | Miller Park Drunk | Conference Call

  4. Anonymous on said:

    stuff like this is why I come here weekly, drunk.

    /grunts

  5. Hilarious. Too bad Wickman or Gantner aren’t on the team any longer. Then you could have multiple ///grunters.

  6. Anonymous on said:

    Yovani didn’t make the cut? What gives?

    _Cody_

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