ESPN Sunday Night Baseball

April 12th, 2010

Last night the Brewers made their first appearance of the season on ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball and the announcing was... something. If you were at the game and you didn't have to listen to it consider yourself lucky because this was one of the worst Joe Morgan performances I've seen in a long time. Which is weird because someone opened a blog called "Fire Joe Morgan" about five years ago, you'd think we'd be used to it by now.

The thing about Joe Morgan is this isn't a pro/anti-sabermetrics thing. I don't really care if Joe Morgan knows about OPS or FIP or any of that stuff. Joe Morgan just doesn't analyze a baseball game correctly and often times comes off like a complete idiot who has never even watched the game. Again, weird considering he is in the Hall of Fame for playing baseball and has been announcing games since 1985.

Anyways, between Joe's ridiculous comments, the constant fellating of Albert Pujols and pro-Cardinals stance they took for the much of the game it was an interesting broadcast to say the least. Let's see if we can do it a little bit of justice.

Hello everyone I'm Jon Miller and welcome to ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. Tonight we have an exciting match up as Albert Pujols and the St. Louis Cardinals head to Milwaukee to take on Ryan Brown and the Milwaukee Braves. With me in the booth all season long is Joe Morgan and Orel Hershiser.
Thanks Jon. Albert Pujols is pretty much the greatest human being ever to play baseball and the Brewers don't have much of a chance. Their first baseman, Prince Fielder, has definitely made a name for himself though. Such a name that I don't think I'll be confusing him with his dad by calling him Cecil anymore. He's earned the right to be called by his own name.
That's true...
The question surrounding the Brewers of course is, should they re-sign Prince Fielder? Last season three million fans came into this ballpark and the team finished under .500. If they re-signed Fielder they could probably sell 10 million or more!
The question the Brewers need to ask themselves Jon is "Are they a small market team?" What makes them a small market team? If they want to be a bigger market they should just raise ticket prices and re-sign Prince Fielder, much like the Twins did with Joe Mauer. Do whatever it takes.
I'm not sure the Brewers can choose whether they want to be a small market team or not, Joe.
Think back to 2008 when they made that playoff appearance. The only reason they made it is because they traded for CC Sabathia and he carried them there, but then the offseason came and they couldn't even match the Yankees offer. If a team like the Brewers can't spend $161M on a player of CC Sabathia's caliber, maybe they deserve to be a small market team.
It is now the ninth inning. The Brewers have a 3 run lead with Albert Pujols at the plate.
Now here's what I call a ball player. The Brewers could never afford a player like Pujols and truth be told they don't deserve one either.
It's funny you say that Joe because I was talking to some players before the game and they all told me that Albert Pujols was their hero.
If there was a hitter like Albert Pujols in my day I never would have had that 59 scoreless innings streak.
Albert Pujols hits a two run homerun.
WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!
THAT'S WHAT THE (BLEEP) I'M TALKIN ABOUT!!
/furiously crotch chops at Brewers fans

COME ON HOLLIDAY!
Matt Holliday hits a solo homerun to tie.
This may be the best game I've seen since the Yankees last played.
It's funny to watch a team like the Brewers play a team like the Cardinals and Albert Pujols. They had the lead going into the ninth inning here, but just like Hulk Hogan facing the Big Bossman you knew the result was never really in doubt.
A fly ball is hit to right field and is caught by Ryan Braun. Ryan Braun is a former rookie of the year, two time Silver Slugger and two time All-Star AKA the most recognizable Brewer. Corey Hart is not.
And a catch by Corey Hart ends the inning.
BOTTOM OF THE NINTH(!)
Leading off the ninth for the Brewers is Cecil Fielder.
Of all the guys in the Brewers lineup Big Cecil here is probably the most Pujols-like, but I doubt he's going to be able to do much with the terrible slump he is in. Trevor Hoffman killed this team's confidence in the last half inning and I'd be surprised if they even continued playing here Jon.
I have to agree Joe. The Brewers should just roll over like the filthy dogs that they are.
Prince Fielder strikes out.
See, I told you Jon. You can't blow a save in one inning and expect your team to..
Casey McGehee hits an absolute bomb for the walkoff win.
(Bleep) this.
/throws headset down in disgust
The Brewers, luckily, walk off with a win here tonight and that's all for us. For Joe Morgan, Orel Hershiser and myself Jon Miller from crappy Miller Park in Shitsville, USA saying goodnight. Sportscenter is next.
LEFTYLEFTYLEFTYMICKELSONTIGERMICKELSONLEFTYLEFTYLEFTY

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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15 comments on “ESPN Sunday Night Baseball

  1. Anonymous on said:

    The conversation could probably have been shortened to the one Morgan quote you got right – “This may be the best game I’ve seen since the Yankees last played.”

  2. Anonymous on said:

    F espn and F the friggin Yankees!

  3. Anonymous on said:

    You had forgot about the entire 7th inning. I actually hit mute on the TV about 10 minutes into the discussion “are the brewers small market or not”. Really, the conversation should have been:
    “Are the brewers small market? What makes them small market”
    “Well they don’t have that many people in the area, that makes them small market”
    “Okay. I hope I get TB and die in a Russian prison.”

    End.

    God. Awful. Broadcasting.

  4. Anonymous on said:

    I attempted to blot out the 7th inning from memory. Thinking back I swear you could hear in Miller and Hershiser’s voices they thought Joe was whacked out of his mind. If only they would have had the stones to punch him in the throat.

  5. Anonymous on said:

    Douche 1:”Strike 1 to…”
    Douche 2:”Well let’s get back to this small market thing. Do you just get to claim that you’re…”
    Douche 1:”Pop fly…”
    Douche 2:”Small market if you don’t want to”
    Douche 1:”Pujols makes….”
    Douche 2:”spend the big money”
    Douche 1:”an attempt to catch a ball in foul…”
    Douche 2:”on a player like Fielder”
    Douche 1:”territory”
    Douche 3:”I like turtles.”
    Douche 2:”Well, I don’t think the Brewers have the money to spend on turtles”
    Douche 1:”Guys, I think it’s about population”
    Douche 2:”Really, lets stop talking about the game. I want to talk more about turtles.”

  6. Anonymous on said:

    Go fuck yourself ESPN

  7. Anonymous on said:

    Other than the obvious Joe Morgan follies, how the hell can Jon Miller screw up so many times on the Corey Hart thing. I MIGHT be able to give him a pass as an accident when McGhee was up and he called him Corey Hart, but RYAN FREAKING BRAUN!!!!! This was one of the most atrociously called games I have ever seen.

  8. Anonymous on said:

    luckily I listened to the game driving back from Madison on 620 AM. Bob Uecker was in rare form — he was imitating Harry Carey so I nearly went off the road. Other than that it was an enjoyable game to listen to, on the radio. If I had watched in on ESPN I probably would have had a brain bleed.

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  10. Anonymous on said:

    Morgan’s initmation that the Brewers were whining about being small-revenue and should spend every last dollar they have was disgusting. It was so obviously from the perspective of someone that thinks players should have no limitations on getting paid whatsoever, and that fans are lemmings that will bend over and continue to pay top dollar to go to a game regardless of how many dollars that is.

    I think Hershiser and Miller were both getting pissed at him as he kept whining on and on. AWFUL! (about as awful as Davis’ performance today)

  11. Anonymous on said:

    Quote from a non-fan watching the game with me listening to Joe Morgan: “Wtf, does that guy have Alzheimer’s or something?”

  12. SconnieGirl808 on said:

    And this is why the $19.95 for MLB’s At Bat will probably be the best money I spend all year. TV muted, Uecker on . . . it works (even with the slight delay from Ueck to TV).

  13. Anonymous on said:

    @SconnieGirl808: Uecker for day games in the office is well worth the price.

  14. SconnieGirl808 on said:

    @Some Random Drunk: And I’m all about that, too. Speaking of, I’ve got a game to catch in a few minutes.

  15. Pingback: Miller Park Drunk | Where would we be without Casey McGehee?

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