Last night the Brewers made their first appearance of the season on ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball and the announcing was... something. If you were at the game and you didn't have to listen to it consider yourself lucky because this was one of the worst Joe Morgan performances I've seen in a long time. Which is weird because someone opened a blog called "Fire Joe Morgan" about five years ago, you'd think we'd be used to it by now.
The thing about Joe Morgan is this isn't a pro/anti-sabermetrics thing. I don't really care if Joe Morgan knows about OPS or FIP or any of that stuff. Joe Morgan just doesn't analyze a baseball game correctly and often times comes off like a complete idiot who has never even watched the game. Again, weird considering he is in the Hall of Fame for playing baseball and has been announcing games since 1985.
Anyways, between Joe's ridiculous comments, the constant fellating of Albert Pujols and pro-Cardinals stance they took for the much of the game it was an interesting broadcast to say the least. Let's see if we can do it a little bit of justice.
|Hello everyone I'm Jon Miller and welcome to ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. Tonight we have an exciting match up as Albert Pujols and the St. Louis Cardinals head to Milwaukee to take on Ryan Brown and the Milwaukee Braves. With me in the booth all season long is Joe Morgan and Orel Hershiser.|
|Thanks Jon. Albert Pujols is pretty much the greatest human being ever to play baseball and the Brewers don't have much of a chance. Their first baseman, Prince Fielder, has definitely made a name for himself though. Such a name that I don't think I'll be confusing him with his dad by calling him Cecil anymore. He's earned the right to be called by his own name.|
|The question surrounding the Brewers of course is, should they re-sign Prince Fielder? Last season three million fans came into this ballpark and the team finished under .500. If they re-signed Fielder they could probably sell 10 million or more!|
|The question the Brewers need to ask themselves Jon is "Are they a small market team?" What makes them a small market team? If they want to be a bigger market they should just raise ticket prices and re-sign Prince Fielder, much like the Twins did with Joe Mauer. Do whatever it takes.|
|I'm not sure the Brewers can choose whether they want to be a small market team or not, Joe.|
|Think back to 2008 when they made that playoff appearance. The only reason they made it is because they traded for CC Sabathia and he carried them there, but then the offseason came and they couldn't even match the Yankees offer. If a team like the Brewers can't spend $161M on a player of CC Sabathia's caliber, maybe they deserve to be a small market team.|
|It is now the ninth inning. The Brewers have a 3 run lead with Albert Pujols at the plate.|
|Now here's what I call a ball player. The Brewers could never afford a player like Pujols and truth be told they don't deserve one either.|
|It's funny you say that Joe because I was talking to some players before the game and they all told me that Albert Pujols was their hero.|
|If there was a hitter like Albert Pujols in my day I never would have had that 59 scoreless innings streak.|
|Albert Pujols hits a two run homerun.
|THAT'S WHAT THE (BLEEP) I'M TALKIN ABOUT!!|
|/furiously crotch chops at Brewers fans
|COME ON HOLLIDAY!|
|Matt Holliday hits a solo homerun to tie.|
|This may be the best game I've seen since the Yankees last played.|
|It's funny to watch a team like the Brewers play a team like the Cardinals and Albert Pujols. They had the lead going into the ninth inning here, but just like Hulk Hogan facing the Big Bossman you knew the result was never really in doubt.|
|A fly ball is hit to right field and is caught by Ryan Braun. Ryan Braun is a former rookie of the year, two time Silver Slugger and two time All-Star AKA the most recognizable Brewer. Corey Hart is not.|
|And a catch by Corey Hart ends the inning.|
|BOTTOM OF THE NINTH(!)|
|Leading off the ninth for the Brewers is Cecil Fielder.|
|Of all the guys in the Brewers lineup Big Cecil here is probably the most Pujols-like, but I doubt he's going to be able to do much with the terrible slump he is in. Trevor Hoffman killed this team's confidence in the last half inning and I'd be surprised if they even continued playing here Jon.|
|I have to agree Joe. The Brewers should just roll over like the filthy dogs that they are.|
|Prince Fielder strikes out.|
|See, I told you Jon. You can't blow a save in one inning and expect your team to..|
|Casey McGehee hits an absolute bomb for the walkoff win.|
|/throws headset down in disgust|
|The Brewers, luckily, walk off with a win here tonight and that's all for us. For Joe Morgan, Orel Hershiser and myself Jon Miller from crappy Miller Park in Shitsville, USA saying goodnight. Sportscenter is next.|