Gallardo named Opening Day starter

In a move that was surprising to Randy Wolf's mom, Patricia Gallardo's ex-boyfriend Joel and like, five other people Yovani Gallardo was named the Brewers Opening Day starter for 2010. It's quite a contrast to last season when manager Ken Macha decided that winning on Opening Day wasn't really a priority to him and started Jeff Suppan. (Yes, the same Jeff Suppan who the Brewers are currently considering paying a whole lot of money to not play for them.)

Macha actually said that he "thinks he's ready for it." Really? Do you think the sky is blue? Do you think sex leads to babies too, Ken? Seriously, this is something that should have been announced in May of 2009. Gallardo is the Brewers best pitcher, by far, and whatever "pressure" is put upon him by being the Brewers number one starter is as made up as my girlfriend who lives in Niagra Falls. You can't be sure if it was Gallardo's 2009 season where he became only the fourth pitcher in Brewers history to have 200 strikeouts in a season (despite skipping his last few starts), his spring training showing, the quality of the other options or something else that changed his mind, but he did. Whatever it was we should all take solace in the fact that Macha made the right choice this year.

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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5 comments on “Gallardo named Opening Day starter

  1. Anonymous on said:

    Once again your cogent analysis helps us plebes understand the situation a bit better while keeping us entertained. You da man, MPD! Someday I’ll buy you a beer or four.

    Seriously I enjoyed the post. Suppan on the DL for Opening Day is even better!

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  3. Anonymous on said:

    that is one ugly shirt

  4. Anonymous on said:

    Macha is like totally wrong! I say start Suppan again – have him suck as bad as he did in last year’s opener, reveal his injury after the game AND THEN SHOOT HIM LIKE A HORSE! That way everyone can feel sorry for him and Melvin and say bullsh!t like “this year he was going to really turn it around – we all had really high expectations for him.”

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