LaTroy Hawkins? I know that guy

December 9th, 2009

latroyhawkinsThe Brewers are said to be HOT AND HEAVY after have signed LaTroy Hawkins and I can't help but think that his name sounds really familiar to me. Not in the positive sense. After much searching of my apartment and underneath my trophy case of women's left socks and earlobes, I found it. My favorite book ever written about the Chicago Cubs, Wrigleyworld, that Latroy Hawkins is a big star of. A few choice quotes.

General Manager Jim Hendry did nothing to address the anemic bullpen, instead calling on LaTroy Hawkins for another season.

Especially not today. The Cubs take a 3-2 lead into the top of the ninth, but closer LaTroy Hawkins surrenders the tying run and the game goes into extra innings.

"People are so angry about Dusty Baker, but what about Sammy Sosa and Moises Alou? What about LaTroy Hawkins?"

All this on top of Saturday's game, a freezing and windy affair that saw LaTroy Hawkins blow his second save of the season with two earned runs in the Cubs 4-3 loss.

In the ninth (after an improbable 1-2-3 inning from LaTroy Hawkins), Corey Patterson comes to the plate.

And finally, the best quote of all.

What has been the best part of the season so far?

Unquestionably, it has to be the trade the Cubs pulled on May 28 when LaTroy Hawkins was sent to San Francisco. Arrivederci, LaTroy! While Hawkins was a superb setup man for the Twins in 20003, he never adapted to the the closer's role in Wrigley Field. He blew several saves down the stretch in 2004 and then a few in 2005. His attitude has never been a favorite of the fans or the media. As such, an air of bitterness existed for Hawkins every time he took the field. And while it's a strange feeling, I can't help but feel that we were subliminally rooting against Hawkins in his relief opportunities. Now that he's gone we can turn out full attention to the players we do like. Strange.

(By the way, that question and answer is a good example of why this book was awesome. Buy it for $.10)

Whenever you get the chance to lock up a player that the fans dislike so much that they subliminally root for him to fail, you have to do that deal. Plus, it's not like we don't already have an aging one inning only guy in the bullpen. Between being reportedly interested in Kevin Gregg and this guy Doug Melvin must have a hard on for shitty former Cubs closers.

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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7 comments on “LaTroy Hawkins? I know that guy

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  7. Anonymous on said:

    “Hawkins was a superb setup man for the Twins in 2003″

    Whoa! Let me catch my breath a bit before I respond. Phew. OK, I feel better now.


    Superb? On what planet does the word “superb” substitute for “elephant phallus inhaler”? I lived in Minneapolis through 2003, and after all of his flat, straight, right in the heart of the plate cheese, let me say you can’t trust La Troy to hold water in a cup, let alone a lead.

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