Let’s drink for America

February 13th, 2009

ste_rod WBC adHey A-Rod. We know you did steroids. We don't really care that much, but we love the fact that your image is "tarnished" and that in a few years people will be wanting asterisks next to everything you ever accomplished. We also know that you cheated on your wife with Madonna. We would think this was cool if your name was Daryl Strawberry and you did this sometime between her breakup with Sean Penn and Like A Prayer. Unfortuanately for you, you waited until she joined up in a seemingly made up religion and started going through painstaking processes to keep herself young looking. I guess it's not your fault you were 14 when that album came out. We know that you like teenagers. We know that this might just be a ploy to get people off the scent of Madonna. We know a lot about you, Alex. We know almost everything, but do you know what bothers us the most?

animated-american-flagThe fact that you were born in the USA and chose to play for the Dominican Republic instead! Seriously?! You're playing for "your country" Alex? It seems to me you were born in New York and then briefly lived in the Dominican before moving back to Miami. It seems to me that you are an American citizen with Dominican descent. You should try moving back there and telling me how that works out for you. Tell me if you like the drug trafficking and high crime threat. Tell me if you prefer the schools and medical care for your children. Tell me if you like living in a place that doesn't have a Scores. Or personal masseuses.  I'm pretty sure you'll be back, Alex.

[AwfulAnnoucning]

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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