2011 Milwaukee Brewers Bobbleheads: No Gallardo, lots of grit (and white people)

The Milwaukee Brewers recently released their 2011 promotional schedule and along with it came the announcement of who would be getting a bobblehead. There are a few surprises, Randy Wolf when almost everyone thought his signing was a bust (it wasn't, but that's the belief out there) is one great example, but no head scratchers. Unless you count Craig Counsell who had a OPS+ of 76 last year and hasn't once been a starting player unless there was an injury, but there are reasons for him beyond statistics. There are reasons for everyone really.

Date Bobblehead Expected Reason
April 24 John Axford Doug Melvin's rule that at least one Canadian get a bobblehead. Also, white.
May 22 Casey McGehee JS MVP, white.
June 12 Zack Greinke Duh.
July 10 Hot Dog Whitest of all racing sausages.
August 14 Craig Counsell Is named Craig Counsell. Also, white.
September 25 Randy Wolf Brewers had to get their $30 million worth somehow. Also, white.

A lot of people have a problem with these selections because there is a disturbing lack of the "good" Brewers. No Prince or Braun for the 85th time, no Rickie Weeks or Corey Hart who had huge seasons last year and no Yovani Gallardo who has actually never had a bobblehead made in his likeness by the Milwaukee Brewers. It's weird right? It reminds of 2009 when Jason Kendall got one over Mike Cameron despite being worse in every way. To find the answer I went to another blogger who seems to be an expert in these things. I use the term "blogger" lightly because his blog isn't actually up yet and he only has a twitter account, but on this particular topic I think he knows his stuff. So take it away, KuKluxBrewKrew.

Pop quiz hotshot: Who are the greatest Brewers of all time?
Answer: Robin Yount and Paul Molitor.
Why? Because they're white, natch.

The truth about the reason Rickie Weeks, Prince Fielder, Yovani Gallardo and the rest of "those people" were left off the bobbleheads this year is because nobody wants them in their home. Do you think I really want a couple of black guys and a Mexican on my mantle next to my Dale Earnhardt commemorative model cars? You think I want Prince Fielder staring me down with those beady bobblehead eyes as I watch the Blue Collar Comedy Tour on TV? Sure, they might help the boys win a few extra games but that doesn't mean they should get a bobblehead.

Last year I got a Hank Aaron bobblehead to celebrate the 70s ( I wanted Bud Selig), do you know where it is now? In the back yard of my trailer being used for target practice right next to the picture of Osama Bin Laden that says "Wanted Dead Or Alive". You think I want my kids playing with these things? Hell no. It's bad enough Billy is always playing with Ellie May's Barbies, playing dress up and all that. Heck, they already took over the White House. Now you want to give them Miller Park too?

I know all you lefty, PC commies out there are reading this and trying to disagree, but answer me this: if Mark Anastasio and the Brewers agree with me, how wrong could I be? Go Krew. White Power.

Alrighty then.

Personally, I don't agree with the choices for this year at all. I just don't see the point behind a Craig Counsell or Randy Wolf bobblehead. Yovani Gallardo is the only one I think really "deserved" it (if we're assuming that having a bobblehead in your likeness is a huge honor), but when it comes down to it I really don't care. Who does and doesn't deserve one doesn't really matter because if you really want a bobblehead of someone, you can find one. So for all you Gallardo fans out there dying to get one all you have to do is go down to your local sporting goods store and pick up one of these babies.

For only $14.99 you could have your very own Vovani Gallardo bobblehead. That's cheaper than the price of a ticket!

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

Facebook Twitter Google+ YouTube 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

15 comments on “2011 Milwaukee Brewers Bobbleheads: No Gallardo, lots of grit (and white people)

  1. Anonymous on said:

    can we get an Ed Sedar bobble high five doll?

  2. Pingback: Daybreak Doppler: To Every Season… | PocketDoppler.com

  3. Anonymous on said:

    Gallardo should have two bobbleheads, one pitching and one hitting.

  4. Anonymous on said:

    The whitest of all sausages is the Polish! Sure it’s a little ethnic, but come-on – the only whiter species would be your swedes or your norwegians and what the fuck would a swedish/norwegian sausage be? Some kind of crappy lukefisk sausage?!?!? The thought of that makes me want to puke!

    Also, the Axman bobblehead makes him look like a gayer fingers instead of a taller, thiner, Ron Jeremy.

  5. Anonymous on said:

    The Giants did a Jerry Garcia Bobblehead – what about a Liberace Bobblehead here in Milwaukee – it could have a fur white cape and plenty of bling – plus he’s the whitest of white so Klu Klux Brew Krew would be happy – especially given Billy’s peculularities.

  6. blatzed on said:

    Anyone remember the Jeffrey Hammonds bobblehead? They ended up releasing him months before his bobblehead day, and they gave them out anyway.

  7. SconnieGirl808 on said:

    You know, the bratwurst could be considered the “most white” sausage, particularly if you limit it to NORTHERN Germans.

    Anyway, I’m still waiting on the Rickie Weeks re-signing write up (I BOUGHT A NEW T-SHIRT FOR THIS SEASON BASED ON THIS ALONE), though I’m willing to bet you’re probably STILL in a manic state of delirium over this.

    As you should be.

    And, as a Wisconsinite that had to live for FOUR YEARS in that God-forsaken wasteland that is Minnesota, only to return for good, I hope the Brewers can outshine the Packers this year. For serious.

  8. Anonymous on said:

    What the HELL DRUNK! No news from you and spring training is here – Rickie was signed, Pujollies didn’t sign, DB (Douchebag Braunie) was named best left fielder in Baseball – baseball is heating up and your presence is necessary – no wait – it’s mandatory! So put down the bong sweep the empty beer bottles off the desk – empty the ash tray and get to word-smithing.

  9. Anonymous on said:

    Dude, something happen? What’s going on? I know you got things outside of this blog, but this is a bit unusual for MPD to be AWOL for 11 days during Spring training. All players report tomorrow, hope to see my favorite Crew blog chiming in as well.

  10. Anonymous on said:

    Vovani. Killer.

  11. Tony Jones on said:

    Are all u fucking morons happy now. All the minorities are getting bobble heads this year.Now shut up u racist fagget mother fuckers.

  12. Hey check it out there will be a YO bobblehead this year found a website that is pretty up to date on their heads too..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

  • BrewBay

    4 MILWAUKEE BREWERS AUTOGRAPHED CARDS. SIMMONS & SUTTON & DEER & MOLITOR. HOF
    4 MILWAUKEE BREWERS AUTOGRAPHED CARDS. SIMMONS & SUTTON & DEER & MOLITOR. HOF
    US $42.99
  • Brewers Tickets

  • E-Mail Miller Park Drunk