ST. LOUIS, MO- Prince Fielder hit his 18th homerun of the season last night in a Milwaukee Brewers win over the St. Louis Cardinals and at least one Milwaukee Brewer is wondering what he ever did to deserve that.

"I thought we'd kind of established that hitting homeruns was my thing this year and then out of nowhere Prince just comes up and ties me for the team lead. He's been the guy hitting them out the past few seasons, but I thought he was going to let me have a turn. It's like I thought we were friends, you know?"

Hart wanted to make it clear that he was happy that the team was winning and admitted that he hasn't been hitting them out as well as he was earlier in the season, but still thinks that Prince could have went about it in a different way.

"You don't see me opening Corey Hart's Restaurant in the 3rd ward, do you? You don't see me having a son with CP, do you? You know why? Because I'm a good teammate, I don't want to step on anybody's toes. Maybe Prince should think about that and start listening when Craig Counsell talks." Hart said, "Craig would never do that to a teammate. Hell, he'd never even hit one homerun. That's how good of a teammate he is. You're lucky to get a hit of that guy."

Hart, who is in the midst of a 16 game hitting streak, says that he plans to hit one out of the park soon, but can't specify a date or location. Hart said "It's going to happen when it happens. I just hope that Prince doesn't hit any out between now and the time I finally hit another one. That would suck."

Hart's teammates are aware of his frustrations about Prince Fielder's recent power surge and some have offered to help.

"I told him that if I could come into the game for the other team when he was playing that I would totally give up a homerun to him, Soup did too before he was released," disgraced closer Trevor Hoffman said. "I like him a hell of a lot better than the Pirates, Cardinals and Reds players I've given up homers to this season. Nick Stavinoha? That guy just sounds like a dick."

Hart said that he plans to take some extra batting practice with hitting coach Dale Sveum and maybe watch The Blind Side for the 48th time this weekend in St. Louis. The story of "big" Mike Oher and his white family is his favorite movie.

"You think they're teaching him, but really he's teaching them. Teaching them how to love."

When asked about the possibility of making the 2010 All-Star team, Corey Hart said that he'd rather just focus on the homerun race between him and his teammate.

"If I make the All-Star team I'll probably just completely fade in the second half of the season like I did last time. I don't want to think about that. I just want to hit more homeruns than this fat, stupid asshole batting behind me."

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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13 comments on “Corey Hart wonders why Prince Fielder hates him

  1. Anonymous on said:

    Why’d ya have to drag Craig Counsell into this?

  2. Anonymous on said:

    I love The Onion.

  3. Anonymous on said:

    Sounds like Gehrig & Ruth all over again.

  4. Anonymous on said:

    wtf, i never knew the brewers were like this. i thought they were real classy baseball players.. maybe not

  5. Anonymous on said:

    Grow-Up…….Baseball is a T..E…A…M sport (TEAM!) The Margaritas are Great!

  6. Anonymous on said:

    Yeah, pretty sure this is made up…

  7. Miller Park Drunk on said:


  8. Anonymous on said:

    Really? This website is dumb. Corey Hart would never say anything like that about his teammates. He is a good player with a good heart. Whoever sits around and makes this shit up really needs to get a life….

  9. Anonymous on said:

    Then don’t read it. I think its absolutely hilarious. Get a sense of humor idiots.

  10. Anonymous on said:

    I think Cory’s better this year cause JJ left town and now he’s the main ladies man on the team. It’s made his man stuff get more manly. I bet he has three more kids this year.

  11. Anonymous on said:

    How the hell is Cory Hart a ladies man?

  12. CountyStadiumDrunk on said:

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh Mannie! My secret nickname for Hart has always been “Fugly.”

  13. Anonymous on said:

    That’s really hilarious!! I’ll see all you Miller park drunks at Coors Field on August 14th. Signed – I’LL DRINK TO THAT – COLORADO!

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