FJM: Milwaukee Brewers, Fire Sale Time?

At some point in this site's history I joined the Yardbarker network and because I did that I had to put this little link box thing that you see on the right side of this page with some relevant links to other Milwaukee Brewers content on their network. I was told if I did this that I would get more hits, more exposure and more money. While I'm still waiting on basically all of those things I have still had the chance to check out some other Brewers websites that I normally wouldn't have otherwise. Why wouldn't I have read them you ask? Because they are not good, that's why. I don't know nearly enough about Yardbarker to make judgements on them, but from what I've seen regarding the Brewers they will basically let anyone become a member of their network.

One of these sites would be LosersBracket which seems like your basic "pictures of hot girls mixed with sports opinions" site. Kind of a poor man's Busted Coverage. These sites are great because you don't really need to have any knowledge of sports to run one and you'll still get hits because omgboobz. I would normally just ignore their content, but sometimes someone writes something so bad, so dumb, so devoid of intelligence that you have to do something to it. You have to FJM it.

Milwaukee Brewers, Fire Sale Time? by SteveGoat

Losers, baseball fans, Wisconsin residents, I ask the above question; Is it fire sale time for the Milwaukee Brewers?

No.

Due to a number of factors, the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers season looks to be all but over. Well, not over in the fact that we can still go enjoy the beautiful Miller Park, enjoy the food, and, most importantly, peruse the parking lot for hotties…..

Have you ever even been to Miller Park? Seriously, who are the creeps walking from lot to lot hitting on random girls? This never happens.

but it looks to be over for playoff and World Series dreams.

Because 36 games is the same as 162. It's not like there are two wild cards or anything.

A number of factors have contributed to my fear it is fire sale time and that The Brewers may cruise to a 90+ loss season.

1.) I'm dumb.
2.) I'm stupid.
3.) I have no idea what I am talking about.
4.) I'm like 15 years old.

-The Brewers miss Prince Fielder more than ever. Sure, Prince only has 5 hrs and is hitting .278, but there is no doubt the Crew is missing his emotional presence and his protection in the line up.

Hard to argue with this one. Manny Parra's play can actually be directly attributed to no longer being afraid that Prince will attack him in the dugout, Nyjer Morgan was recently caught listening to Air Supply while looking at a picture of Prince and Ryan Braun's 1.002 OPS is clearly suffering from the lack of Prince.

-Injuries; This team is riddled by injuries. Alex Gonzales, Matt Gamel Toe (this one really hurts, we had a sweet t-shirt all ready to roll out), Narv Dog and Spaz Gomez are all hurt.

That's three dumb nicknames and one misspelled name if you are keeping score. Quite the fan we got here.

For those wondering what the sweet t-shirt looked like we have obtained a picture of it:

None of these guys are all stars, but they are A TON better than their replacements. Look, Mayonnaiseonette is cool, smooth looking and hit a grand slam, but he was a 30 year old minor leaguer for a reason.

Make that four dumb nicknames.

Also, Maysonet isn't even the starter.

Gamel Toe was OK, but he is better….MILES better than Green and his goofy stance and middle aged man hair cut.

Mat Gamel career minor league OPS: .873
Taylor Green career minor league OPS: .828

(And it's a lot closer than that if you take away their age 19 seasons.)

But, hey, don't let the numbers fool you. Clearly based on his batting stance and haircut Taylor Green blows. NERDDDDDD!

Also, Taylor Green is in a platoon with Travis Ishikawa who currently is hitting MILES better than Gamel was.

On and on….this team is reduced to half a major league line up and the other half is merely minor league talent. Cant win games with this….just cant.

The loss of two starters for the season = half the lineup.

Apostrophes = pointless.

-The players who are healthy are just not on. Rickie Weeks……..WHAT THE HELL IS UP?! Weeks is hitting under .200 AS A LEADOFF GUY! I don’t know what the problem with Weeks is, but this just can be tolerated.

You're right it can be tolerated. First good point you've made!

Either Weeks wakes up or he needs to ride the pine.

Oh, you meant "can't be tolerated."

Didn't you just say that the replacements for the injured players aren't good enough? Who do you think would play in place of Rickie? Paul Molitor?

Corey Hart. He is ok…just ok….still strikes out WAY too much and shows no plate discipline.

He also hits for power WAY too much and gets too many clutch hits.

Also, okay instead of ok. Seriously, it's two more letters.

The fact of the matter is that The Brewers only have one person in their lineup who opponents fear…Ryan Braun. With injuries, players not performing and only one real weapon, the Brewers can only score 1-3 runs a game, which puts a TON of pressure on their pitchers.

They only have one MVP on the team? What losers!

The Brewers are currently averaging over 4 runs a game, by the way.

-Someone help me with this one. Maybe our new sports guy can help me.

I doubt it.

WHY WHY do The Brewers always make no name/first start pitchers look like Cy Young award winners? I think it comes back to the fact that they are not professional hitters like…say….The Cardinals are, and that they have no plate discipline.

lol.

Who knows.

You certainly don't.

All I know is that, if I were playing the Brewers, I would trot out any no name scrub pitcher to mow them on down.

Great now our secret is out. Now this is going to happen.

Charlie Manuel: Who's starting today?
Rich Dubee: Roy Halladay.
Charlie Manuel: Against the Brewers? Nonsense! Get me Braden Looper!
Rich Dubee: But.. Halladay is one of the greatest pitchers of all time and Looper is out of the league.
Charlie Manuel: Exactly. *puts on sunglasses* *drives away in a convertible*

Thanks a lot, LosersBracket!

-I love the Crew, I know my rants often times look like I don’t, but we had something special last year and it hurts to see it ruined by injuries, player departures and sub par performances by Weeks, T-Plush and the rest.

I don't think your rants make it look like you don't love the Brewers. I think that your rants make it look like you don't have a fully functioning brain. Big difference.

The above rants leads us to the question….Is it fire sale time?

No.

Should The Brewres trade some players for prospects?

No. The Milwuake Brewres should definitely not trade some players for prospects.

We all know that the farm system is severely lacking in talent…especially hitters.

I know this because I saw someone say it on ESPN after the Greinke trade. They couldn't possibly have a lot of good talent in the lower levels.

Should we explore trading the under performing Weeks? He is an all star talent 2nd basemen who is in a funk of all time.

I bet being in a funk of all time is frickin' awesome.

Funk is on a roll,
Funk is on a roll,
Funk is on a roll.

Maybe a change of scenery would help Weeks and the Crew could get a talent injection.

Because teams normally trade major league talent for major league talent and give up good players for guys hitting .159. GREAT PLAN DUDE!

Talent Injection would be a sweet name for a band though.

Should the Crew move some pitchers? You can bet teams would fall over for Greinke, Gallardo……any of our arms. I know, trading pitching for hitting is a wash at times, but hell….this team needs hitters.

There a lot of dumb things in this article, but this may be the worst. There are just so many things wrong with this idea. Things like:

  • Thinking the team needs hitting when it is averaging 4 runs a game.
  • Thinking of trading the pitchers for hitting, but not putting any thought into who might pitch if the pitchers were traded.
  • The "trading pitching for hitting is a wash at times" line which makes about as much sense as the season finale of How I Met Your Mother. (Quinn :( )
  • Not caring because this team needs hitters.

*In my eyes, the only players who would be untouchable are; Ryan Braun who is the face of the franchise. Greinke, he loves it here and is our ACE. Lucroy, dude is one of the best catchers in the game…keep him around. Build around these three players.*

Just replace the other 22. Then we'll be awesome again.

At least you got two out of three right. If the Brewers fall out of contention Zack Greinke should be priority #1 to trade. Nice try though.

I leave it to you losers. I don’t know much about baseball,

Understatement of the year.

but I do know the Brewers need some help and especially need some professional hitters in their lineup. Just watch the Cardinals’ hitters approach at the plate compared to the Brewers’ hitters…..its night and day and its a big reason for the gap between the two teams…even before all the injuries.

Cardinals team walks: 132
Brewers team walks: 108

Cardinals team strikeouts: 280
Brewers team strikeouts: 282

The plate discipline is NIGHT AND DAY!

And now for a poll.

What should the Brewers do if they continue to lose games

What, no option for "the season is young let's wait it out"? I'm shocked.

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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4 comments on “FJM: Milwaukee Brewers, Fire Sale Time?

  1. Will on said:

    Well said, even if the Brewers sucked (which they don’t) it’s still not time for a fire sale.
    THIS would be time for a fire sale!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=0mAInAOK2fc#t=29s

  2. Tuco on said:

    I’m thinking this guy is Sal Bando. Think about it – fire sale in mid May – trade great pitching for minor league hitting – trade an all-star in his prime during a slump in May for prospects. Plus, he keeps repeating he doesn’t know anything about baseball – it’s definitely Sal Bando in disguise as a blogger!
    Let’s just say Rickie hits like his historical average for the rest of the year. Let’s say TP hits his & Aramis hits his for the rest of the year – that would be huge upside from a 3rd of your lineup from here on out. How bout Ax and Frankie pitch averagely well for the rest of the year – if that happens – if those guys just do as well as they have historically done for the rest of the year then the crew makes the playoffs and anything can happen.
    That thought makes me so happy I’m gonna get drunk!

  3. Cut him a little slack for the ellipses. Perhaps he’s from the Vonnegut/Celine school of writing…although it should be three dots.

  4. Philip on said:

    “OK” is actually an acronym for “All Correct”. It’s meant to be ironic.

    “Okay” is a vocalization of that acronym. I agree that the guy writing that article was an idiot, but if you’re gonna nitpick, at least know what you’re talking about. He certainly wasn’t wrong about his use of “ok”. Everything else, on the other hand…

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