I don't give a crap what happens in today's Milwaukee Brewers game. I really, really don't. After last night's 15-1 loss that saw me:
- Drink warm beer on the drive up.
- Sweat more than I ever have in my entire life during the first two innings. Seriously, with the roof and panels closed Miller Park turns into the world's largest sauna.
- Get flaked out on by a date (shut up, female commenters).
- Not even enjoy a Rickie Weeks homerun.
- Leave early. (!)
It wasn't the best day for me and after all of that, I don't really feel like watching or caring today. The playoff chances that me and like two other people were holding onto are now gone. The Milwaukee Brewers will not make the playoffs. The Milwaukee Brewers will be lucky to finish around .500. This isn't that bad of a thing. [I don't actually believe this one bit. It is the frickin' worst thing. - Editor] I guess we should have seen this coming after Trevor Hoffman blew all those saves and we had that one losing streak, right? We dug a big, early hole that was going to be near impossible to dig our way out of. We weren't able to do the impossible and now we will not make the playoffs. It happens, we'll try again next year (which I am totally pumped for by the way). This season is over.
This doesn't mean that I am going to quit this site or even write less. Hell, I'll probably write more now that this weight of contention is off of my shoulders. This worrying about the outcomes of every single game. I can just enjoy the games and the Miller Park experience. I can go into a few games during the third inning and not feel like I am missing anything. As a matter of fact, I think I will do that for all future Chris Narveson starts. I really wanted this season to work out, but it didn't. I can deal with this.
Now I'll be right back to talk about Corey Hart. I just need a minute to process. I'm just going to watch this music video a few times and reflect on my entire life.
It pours. Man, it pours.
Okay, aaannnnndddd I'm good. I'm back. I never wanted them to do good this season anyways. [Again, a total lie. I wanted them to do good so bad. -Editor]
At some point during yesterday's loss I realized that this may be one of the last times I see Corey Hart in person as a member of the Milwaukee Brewers. I've gotten a lot of mileage out of Corey Hart jokes on this site and I've complained about him quite a bit in the past too. What can I say? It was the cool thing to do. Still, I am really going to miss the guy and not just for the jokes. [This is sort of a lie. I will really miss the jokes. -Editor] The truth is that I've always liked Corey Hart, but he's just always seemed to let me down. I wanted him to be good, like he is now, for so long that he just ended up letting me down so many times that I lashed out. Its like when my son tells me he doesn't want to watch Wall-E. I mean, Why wouldn't you want to watch Wall-E? It's a tale of true robot love and a little robot could that shows more emotion than your stupid Veggietales could ever dream of and you don't want to watch it? What the hell is wrong with you, little kid? Its stupid and irrational for me to get this upset about it, but that's how I've always thought. Why can't you be better, Corey? And then, of course, it happened and I was too stupid to realize it.
The season is over half over and Corey Hart has been, by far, the Milwaukee Brewers best hitter. He's also been the National League's 11th best hitter in OPS thus far this season. He's left Jim Edmonds, his pre-season "competition" in the dust. He's been better than Jayson Werth, Jason Heyward and Colby Rasmus all of whom get way more publicity than him. When the National League All-Stars take the field next week to start the game there will be a Brewer in the outfield that was voted to start because he was thought to be the National League's best, but it will be the wrong Brewers. Ryan Braun is not the National League's best because Corey Hart is. After Andre Ethier, Corey Hart has been the next best outfielder in the entire National League.
Now let's all think about that for a second. Let's just let it sink in for a moment.
Right now, the Brewers have one of the best players in the National League and his name isn't Prince Fielder or Ryan Braun. His name is Corey Hart. Seriously. This is really happening.
Breathe. It's going to be okay.
It's crazy to think about. I don't even believe my words as I am writing them, but the numbers don't lie. The crazy thing is that besides the extreme power surge that he experienced earlier this season he's been the same hitter that he was last year. You know, the same guy that people wanted the Brewers to non-tender. He's showing the same skill set that he's always had only now he's actually doing something with it. He's actually making meaningful contact and making less stupid mistakes. This is huge and awesome and amazing and I'm so happy about it and there is no way that he's not getting traded now.
Doug Melvin doesn't like to fill a need by creating another one. The odds are he won't trade Prince Fielder this year because he doesn't have anyone else to play first base. With Corey Hart he has no such problem. Jim Edmonds, Joe Inglett, Lorenzo Cain and Jody Gerut could all easily fill the position and Corey Hart's value has never been higher to trade. People said that the Brewers should "sell high" when he hit all those homeruns in one week, but that was just a streak. You can't sell high on a streak, but you can sell high now that the streak is over and Corey Hart has continued to display awesomeness. There is no doubt in my mind that Corey Hart is a member of a team besides the Brewers by the end of this month and it sucks.
And yes, I know that Corey Hart is going to bring back the precious pitching that we so desperately need and that trading him is the completely right move to do and bla bla bla. I know all that, okay? I am much smarter than you guys. (See my dating guide? Hello!) I know all this, but it sucks. It just sucks.
It sucks to be a baseball fan. We've all been waiting so long for Corey Hart to live up to his potential, for him to be the player that we wanted him to be and now he is finally meeting our expectations and the only thing we can do about it is get rid of him. Let him go to another team for another player who will let us down, only to one day leave when he figures it all out. That, in a nutshell, is baseball in the 21st century. One day soon, I'm going to have to say goodbye to Rickie Weeks and that's going to suck too. It's all about the young and the cheap and sometimes those dreams of potential are all we get until they're gone, off to another team. Off to wear another uniform where fans of other teams get to reap the benefits of the guy we believed in. Baseball, much like life, is not fair.
I'm going to miss you Corey Hart, I really am, but it wouldn't hurt my feelings all that bad if you went somewhere else and went back to sucking. Honestly, it'd make this whole transition easier. Just ask JJ.
Tags: commenters, contention, cool thing, Corey Hart, crap, hell, homerun, jokes, losing streak, mileage, Miller Park, milwaukee brewers, music video, park experience, playoff chances, Rickie Weeks, shoulders, sweat, Trevor Hoffman, warm beer