Each Thursday preceding Brewers weekend home stands,
Tyler Maas Vince Morales will help prepare fans for all elements of the upcoming series with the Homestander. Tyler prints Wisconsin-themed shirts at Forward Fabrics and contributes to such fine publications as Milwaukee Magazine and The A.V. Club Milwaukee. All views, naughty words and weirdo sentiments are his own. Follow him at @TylerJamesMaas @vintown
There is a witch hunt going on in the MLB and it involves our favorite son, Ryan Braun. I don't know why, but there is. The mainstream media is a big part of it because they want to get the scoop, they want to break the story and they want to get the page views. They learned from the Melky Cabrera situation that he just doesn't get the clicks anymore. They've learned that Alex Rodriguez, once a ratings bonanza of controversy on par with Tiger Woods, just doesn't get the viewers like he used to. In order to strum up some business with this Biogenesis thing, they need a name with some value. A guy who is still good, they NEED Ryan Braun. I guarantee you if someone ends up suspended for this thing (and they shouldn't be unless they fail a drug test, but that's another rant) that the media will tell you that "so and so was suspended, but still no word on Ryan Braun" because "so and so" doesn't get the clicks, but Ryan Braun will. Ryan Braun is forever stung by this thing and it sucks. Whenever there is a thing with PEDs, he will be brought up. Right now, every dumb person I know just assumes that Ryan Braun did PEDs and he WILL be busted soon. There is no burden of proof, only a belief in what ESPN tells you.
Which is why I say this, don't believe everything you read or see on TV. The media lies. They have an agenda. Sometimes that agenda is protecting their corporate sponsors and sometimes that agenda is to get more viewers. Ryan Braun can be used to fit that agenda. I'm not saying he's guilty or innocent, I'm just saying you need to look at what you know and make up your own decisions. Use critical thinking and stop letting ESPN or whoever else decide things for you. You can do it. We are Anonymous.
MicroBrew - Minor Leaguer Of The Week
Apparently there was a draft yesterday? And the Brewers drafted some dudes? Last time I checked I thought all our picks belonged to the Cardinals, but apparently we still had some. Let's see who we can get excited about:
Neuhaus, a left-handed hitter who turns 18 in two weeks, missed most of his senior season at Wharton (Fla.) High School with injuries, including a ruptured eardrum suffered with Brewers amateur scouting director Bruce Seid in the stands and a right quadriceps strain that dogged him much of the spring.
You know the old saying "you can't be injury prone if you don't start in high school." Great value pick by the Brewers here, drafting a guy who listens to The National so loudly that he blows out his eardrum. (I assume.) Can't wait to see how he pans out!
Blatz from the Pabst - Old School Brewer
Fernando Vina. When I was in middle school my dad worked in downtown Milwaukee so one day he took me to work with them and then let me take a cab to go to a Brewers game BY MYSELF. It was the coolest. I got there really early and managed to snag a batting practice ball with my glove and a belt. (It was near the foul line, but just out of reach. I basically fished for it.) I then took that ball and scored some autographs. I ended up with two, Fernando Vina and... Derek Jeter. My dumb kid self was like "whatever Yankees dude" and so pumped about Vina that I played second base in little league and had the same number. I don't know whatever happened to that ball.
Handy Heckle - Phillies
"YOUR TEAM SUCKS! I MEAN, OUR TEAM SUCKS TOO, BUT AT LEAST WE DON'T HAVE A TERRIBLE REPUTATION FOR THROWING BATTERIES AND BOOING SANTA! EVEN IF THAT SANTA THING HAPPENED IN THE 70s!"
Tailgating Tips - What to put inside you, etc.
To drink: Strongbow hard cider. I just had this for the first time and oh my god do I love it. I am usually the person who makes fun of hard cider drinkers ("hard cider? do you also like hard wieners? you know, bcuz gay") but this stuff is the bomb. Plus, it's like 5% alcohol which is more than that Miller Lite you're drinking right now.
To eat: Whatever. Just don't do anything that Jerry Garcia makes and complain about him loudly. That way I can take his job and make everyone hate me.
Have you ever heard of this guy? He's awesome! Apparently he was in some band before this, but now he's out on his own and he's really making some great music. "My Sweet Lord" may be my favorite song ever. I once sent it to my baby's mother and she hated it because it was "about others Gods" or something. GOOD TIMES!
If you can't make it to Miller Park - Watch the game here
Friday's Front Row at Miller Park. A bit overpriced, but they have a great drink selection.
Seriously, have you looked at stubhub prices for this weekend? You can go.
Otherwise check out McBob's which is where I take the shuttle from for every Brewers game. They have a good beer selection, excellent corned beef and diversity in their customer base. Something that you don't normally find in a Milwaukee bar.
Ad-monishment - Shaming commercials that deserve it
I don't watch enough TV to really get into this (hipster status), but if I had to choose one it would be any commercial involving people playing hockey. Have these (M)ad men ever even watched hockey? It actually has lighting, you know. It's not done in pitch black arenas. Also, the players are uglier. Except for Patrick Sharp, he's dreamy.
Ever wonder what I do when I am ignoring the Brewers and my blog? I write about indy wrestling at my blog, Ole Wrestling. Specifically, crazy theories of a Chikara conspiracy that has seen my favorite thing ever get shut down. If you're into that sort of thing give it a follow. Don't worry, it won't hurt my feelings if you don't. I know there are only like five people interested in this besides me.
Tags: alex rodriguez, bonanza, brewers, burden of proof, cardinals, corporate sponsors, critical thinking, drug test, dumb person, espn, favorite son, mainstream media, melky cabrera, minor leaguer, neuhaus, peds, Ryan Braun, son ryan, tiger woods, witch hunt