Houston Astros season preview

The season is just around the corner and the Milwaukee Brewers are currently one of the favorites in the NL Central, but that doesn't mean it's a sure thing. There are still five other teams that want the title who will be fighting for it all season. Do they have a shot? That's what we're going to find out as we work with fans from other teams to figure out how everything is going to play out and exactly what it is we're dealing with. That's right it's the 2011 NL Central Previews!

Today's Guest: A Houston Texans cheerleader

Hi y'all I'm Dixie and I'm a cheerleader for the Houston Texans. I've also done a bit of modelin' for Hawaiian Tropic and appeared in three Texas-wide commercials (you may remember me as the hot waitress at Big Billy's BBQ Fire Pit, the sassy bartender at Monster Mike's Steak City or playin' myself in an ad for Texas Mattress World ("So soft you'll strap the mattress to your back!"), but I am not here to talk about that right now. I want to talk about my other love, Houston Astros baseball.

Now, I know what y'all are thinking and I just want y'all to know I am a HUGE baseball fan. (Also, sorry honey but they ain't real.) It's my third favorite sport after rasslin' and football. My daddy used to take me to Astros games and we'd see all the stars of the old days. Back when Miguel Tejada, Lance Berkman and Brad Ausmus used to play for us. My daddy told me when I was little he took me to see Craig Bidgeo and Jeff Bagwall, but I don't remember all that. I bet it was real good though! Them boys could play some baseball.

The Astros are kind of in a transition right now switchin' over to a lot of younger guys, but it's just like when I was a cheerleader in high school. We lost two or three girls to pregnancy in my junior year, but mama told me not to get discouraged because God has a plan for us all. So we got us a few freshman and trained them up real good and ended up gettin' fourth in the regionals. That's kinda like what I expect out of the 'stros this year. We got ridda Berkman, but we got Brett Wallace to take over. We got ridda Oswalt, but JA Happ is right there to take his place. And we added that Bill Hall fella to play in the field and I reckon he's pretty darn good too. Y'all seem to be pretty big fans of him at least. A lot of people don't like Brett Myers for some reason, but he's a pretty darn good pitcher if you ask me. All that junk with his wife was probably just a big misunderstandin', like she forgot to cook dinner or ran up a high cellphone bill or somethin', just normal stuff that got blown out of proportion by them city slickers up in Philadelphia. Heck, that's not even mentionin' Michael Bourn who daddy says is so fast he could fetch three beers before mama got one and Hunter Pence. Let me tell you what that boy is finer than frog's hair. Or Wandy Rodriguez who is cuter than a sack of puppies. I'd marry that boy if my daddy'd let me date Mexicans. And all them boys is led by Brad Mills who can do his fair share of raisin' cane when he has to.

I guess that drunk fella wants me to make a prediction about the standings (personally I think he might be a little light in the loafers) and I reckon they'd be mighty high on the hog if they could win like 30 or 40 games. Hopefully with a little luck they could get into the playoffs and win the Super Bowl of baseball. Go 'stros!

If anyone is in Houston this weekend I will be appearing at Hottyz Gentleman's Club from 9 to midnight on Friday and Saturday. Come say hi!!!!

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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6 comments on “Houston Astros season preview

  1. Anonymous on said:

    I think this little lady has some moxie! She knows many of the players and I like her hair!

  2. Anonymous on said:

    How dare you associate the wonderful, intelligent, philanthropic, disease free women of the Houston Texans with the Astros?

    They work very hard to cheer on a sports team loaded with offensive weapons either under perform or become ravaged by injury. Honestly she seems a better fit as a Brewers fan.

  3. blatzed on said:

    It’s pretty common for former Brewers to become Brewer killers when they face them. Needless to say I will be more than pissed if that’s the case with Bill Hall.

  4. Pingback: Daybreak Doppler: Time Flies, Or At Least It Did This Time | PocketDoppler.com

  5. Sabertard on said:

    Witrado just came.

  6. Anonymous on said:

    Witrado just came.

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