John Axford: Filmmaker

Fans of John Axford may know that he is quite the film buff. On twitter this weekend he had a lot to say about the Oscars and correctly picked 11 out of 13 winners. He majored in film in college at Notre Dame and even shot his own 16MM film with some friends while they were there. His love affair with film doesn't stop there either. In an interview with Adam McCalvy, John said that he has "lots of stories" in his head and foresees himself taking a shot at film in the future.

What you may not know is that John Axford has already started preparing for his post-baseball career in Hollywood. In fact, we have recently acquired a few pages from John Axford's spec script that he has been working on during the offseason. I can't 100% confirm it's validity, but it was sent to me by someone who identified themselves to me as "one of johns bros from notre dam bro" so I think it's pretty legit.


INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY

The PRESIDENT is meeting with a group of military leaders in the Oval Office.

PRESIDENT
We have to get those launch codes back. If they get into the wrong hands we could be looking at World War 3!

THE BOSS OF THE ARMY
Don’t worry we have our best man on it Mr. President.

THE BOSS OF THE NAVY
You damn well better have your best man on it!

PRESIDENT
Keep your voice down in my office. I have full trust in the Army to save our country.

THE BOSS OF THE ARMY
Thank you Mr. President. The soldier we’re sending to take care of this is the best I’ve ever seen. He won’t let us down. He’s saved this country many times before and he’ll do it again.

THE BOSS OF THE NAVY
Who is he?

INT. BASEBALL LOCKER ROOM - GAME SEVEN OF THE WORLD SERIES
JON MAXFORD, late 20s with a sweet mustache, is being interviewed by a smoking hot blonde INTERVIEWER in the locker room following a baseball game. Everyone is spraying champagne and celebrating in the background.

INTERVIEWER
Jon, you just led your team, the Milwaukee Grewers, to a victory in game seven of the World Series by hitting four solo homeruns and pitching a complete game shutout. How does it feel right now?

JON MAXFORD
(super humble)
It feels pretty good. You know, I couldn’t have done this without my teammates. I’m just happy for the city of Milwaukee.

INTERVIEWER
(clearly attracted to Jon)
And boy are they ever happy to have you too! Tell me Jon you just won the World Series and were crowned World Series MVP after a regular season where you won the MVP and Cy Young awards, what are you going to do now?

She winks at him as if to say “me?”

JON MAXFORD
I’m going to Disneyland mama!

EXT. AIRPORT PARKING LOT - THE NEXT DAY
The Boss of the Army is sitting in a car with the SUPER SOLDIER who looks EXACTLY LIKE Jon Maxford, sweet mustache and all.

THE BOSS OF THE ARMY
You’re going to go in there, check in and head for the Ax Airlines terminal to Disneyland, Florida. Their man will meet you there.

SUPER SOLIDER
What will they look like, sir?

THE BOSS OF THE ARMY
I don’t know. They said they would find you. You’re kind of hard to miss with that sweet mustache.

SUPER SOLIDER
Thank you sir.

THE BOSS OF THE ARMY
Save the pleasantries for later we got a country to save!

SUPER SOLIDER
Yes sir. I won’t let America down!

The Super Soldier exits the car and heads into the airport.

INT. AIRPORT - MINUTES LATER
Jon Maxford is waiting for his flight when he is swarmed by fans looking for autographs. A few feet away the Super Soldier is walking towards the terminal.

BIG FAN
Oh my god Jon I am your biggest fan! Please sign my baby’s head!

JON MAXFORD
Okay br--

Just as Jon is about to sign the baby’s dome one of those cart things you see at airports comes flying by and CRASHES into the Super Soldier and then running over his skull.

RANDOM PERSON
Someone call a doctor!
A DOCTOR
I am a doctor and there is nothing I can do. That crash was fatal. He’s dead.

There is a collective panic attack in the airport and security swarms the area. They attempt to get people out of the way. Two security guards grab Jon and physically take him with them.

JON MAXFORD
Wait! There must be a misunderstanding! I didn’t do anything bro!

They take Jon to a private room and lock the door behind them.

INT. PRIVATE AIRPORT ROOM

SECURITY GUARD 1
Are you him?

JON MAXFORD
Uhh, yeah. I’m Jon Maxford. World Series MV--

SECURITY GUARD 2
No names! What are you crazy?

JON MAXFORD
Oh sorry. Do you guys want an autograph or something?

SECURITY GUARD 1
Autograph?! We want our one billion dollars!

JON MAXFORD
Is this a joke?

SECURITY GUARD 1
Does it look like we’re joking? Here take these codes and tell us where to go get the money.

The guards hand Jon a briefcase and handcuff it this hand.

JON MAXFORD
I don’t know what you’re --


The door to the private room is kicked in and twenty four men rush in! A HUGE fight breaks out with Jon caught in the middle. He busts out a few karate moves to knock out most of them, but then a beautiful blonde SUPERMODEL grabs him.

SUPERMODEL
Come with me if you want to live!

JON MAXFORD
Whatever you say mama.


The two leave, running out of the airport and into a waiting limo.

EXT. AIRPORT PARKING LOT - INSIDE LIMO

The SUPERMODEL pulls Jon in and slams the door behind them.

JON MAXFORD
Woah, that was crazy.


SUPERMODEL
Yes it was. I am very excited now. Perhaps we should....

Jon looks at her, then looks towards the driver and notices a man sitting across from them. He is clearly a BAD DUDE, late 20s wearing a Detroit shirt.

BAD DUDE
Not so fast. Do you have my codes?

JON MAXFORD
Uhhh, I think so bro. They’re right here in this briefcase.

BAD DUDE
Excellent. Now we can blow up Canada and start World War 3.

JON MAXFORD
No way bro! I will never do that!

Jon Maxford jumps from the speeding limo and lands on his feet. He starts to run through the streets. He is really fast and gets away.


Is it just me or does this movie look awesome?

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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