Kyle Lohse, Yuniesky Betancourt and The End of the World

It has been a tough week for Brewers diehards as the Brewers have made moves that seemingly go against the very core of who they are and what they believe in.

dealwithitFirst, the Brewers had the audacity to add a 2-3 win player to the rotation by signing Kyle Lohse to a three year deal worth $33 million dollars. (Snarky headline: Kyle Lohse Makes Sense, In An Alternate Reality.) The complaints are many, -- too many years (just like every free agent contract ever,) too much money (just like every free agent contract ever (and also, not really,)) he's 34 and that is way too old (true,) he's a spy for the Cardinals sent to destroy our organization's playoff chances (a very real possibility,) I don't know how to spell and/or pronounce his name -- but perhaps the biggest complaint of all is the loss of a FIRST ROUND draft pick which will now go to the CARDINALS instead. "Are you serious bro?" is what you might say if you were the only person left who thinks Zack Ryder is cool.

Then, the Brewers filled the 25th man spot on the roster by acquiring Yuniesky Betancourt. (Snarky headline: Brewers re-sign Yuniesky Betancourt as part of effort to find least popular possible transaction.) The Brewers internet briefly exploded yesterday as fans reacted in outrage of the signing. I took part in the vitriol on twitter. I, like many other Brewers fans, don't like Yuniesky Betancourt as a baseball player so why are the Brewers going to pay him to play baseball?

The point of these moves is to win more games this season. The upgrade of Lohse from whoever the fifth starter would have been is a pretty big one that makes the Brewers likely to win more games. Is it worth losing a 1st round pick and flushing at least $11 million down the drain (The Suppan/Wolf Rule states there is no way he performs well in year three)? If they make the playoffs, probably yes. Maybe. I like Lohse better than I would have liked Dempster. So there's that. As for the draft pick, who cares? It's not like the Brewers have been nailing their first round picks lately anyways. The money? Payroll is still lower than last year and Lohse really needs it to get this tattoo removed.

kyle lohse super cool tattoo bro

Doug Melvin thinks that Yuniesky Betancourt will be better than Donnie Murphy and if he is better than him then this is the right move. His job is to build the best 25 man roster possible. My problem is that bringing Yuni back would be like bringing back the guy who took Braun's urine sample to work in the clubhouse. Signing Yuni is like hiring my ex-girlfriend to be my personal assistant. Sure they might be able to do the job well and be completely qualified for the job, but it will suck. It will be awful and every day that we have to see them will be terrible. We don't want to see them. Life is better when we don't have to think about them and if there are other similarly qualified people out there that aren't them, then why don't we hire them? Why do you pick the one person we don't want to see?

That being said, it's not the end of the world. These moves, whether you agree with them or not, were made in order to make the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers a better baseball team. They probably did and things could be worse. How much worse? Imagine if one of these things happens:

  • In order to make amends for signing someone fans don't like, Doug Melvin signs someone they do like: Seth McClung.
  • The team becomes fed up with Ron Roenicke after 15 games and replace him with Jerry Royster, 2002 ensues.
  • K-Rod.
  • The Brewers acquire Chris Capuano who promises to "pitch like it's 2007."
  • The Cubs play the majority of their home games at Miller Park.
  • Inspired by Jeff Suppan's run for congress, Jason Kendall becomes the 45th President of the United States.
  • Alex Gonzalez and his career .691 OPS open the season as the Brewers starting first baseman.

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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