Miller Park Drunk answers your questions

Sometimes we get emails and we don't reply to them. We don't do this because we mean to, but because we forget or because we're lazy or because we just read the email on our iPhone while sitting at the bar and don't have the wherewithal to type out a reply. It's nothing personal. Sometimes we get comments that drive us crazy that we want to reply to, but just don't because like I said we're kind of lazy. It happens. Sometimes we get twitter and facebook messages (because we ask for them) from people who want to know things. When these things happen, we answer your questions. Maybe we don't do it right away and the responses aren't exactly what anyone would call timely, but we do reply. We always reply. We love you guys.

MPD,

I'm interested on who you would pick as manager. Bobby Valentine? How about Tom Trebelhorn. He took a major screwing from Sal (Remember Antoine Williamson?) Bando back in '91 (probably before your time). Bando was the GM who let Molitor go, by the way.

JMB

Ron Roenicke! Nailed it!

Two part question. what's your favorite kind of drunk? Which is your favorite racing sausage?

- CiltantroNate

You know when it's Saturday night and you know that you have the whole night off and you're going to go with some friends and get drunk? Then you all meet up before hand, maybe have some dinner or something, but when you first all get together you don't have a ton to talk about. Like you're talking, there's a game on or something and you are making random observations about it, but you're not really engaging eachother and you're not making fun of each other and laughing, cracking jokes like you usually do. Then you have a couple of beers and all of the sudden you are just cracking a ton of jokes and laughing your asses off. You're not drunk and if it comes down to it you could probably leave right now and drive home fine, but you have that first little taste of a buzz and it's loosened you up a bit. That's my favorite drunk. That first little bit of alcohol combined with a little adrenaline just makes you act just silly, having a good time and buzzed. That's the best.

I think with the racing sausages that most people align ethnically. Like the Mexican guy always like the Chorizo, the Polish guys like the Polish and the gay guy always like the Italian Sausage (hey-o!), but I don't really have that. I'm not enough of anything to define myself to a sausage strictly by ethnicity. Other people align themselves by what they like to eat the most, but that doesn't really work for me either. I like them all and eat them all equally. Yet at the same time a Maxwell Street Polish is one of my favorite things to eat, but I know that every time I've ate one in my entire life I've been in the bathroom fifteen minutes later. So it's not like I'm going crazy for it either because the Polish is just as good to me as it is bad. When it comes down to it I guess I've never really identified a particular sausage as "my sausage" and I tend to play each race by ear. Maybe one day I'm a Hot Dog man, maybe the next I'm with a bunch of my Mexican friends and I root for the Chorizo (mostly out of fear) and maybe the next I decide to take a bathroom break while the race is going on. It's a different adventure every game.

who wins this weekend?

- crimmings

Bartenders.

Judging by the size of Yuni it's going to be dificult to get a ball by him or around him.

You better hope for a poop load of strike outs.

Bob

I'm assuming he's referring to this photoshop:

Which might be exaggerated a little bit, but not nearly enough to make his statement untrue. Can Wisconsin as a whole make a pact to pretend like cheese curds, butter burgers, frozen custard, sausages and everything else don't exist whenever Yuni is around? Seriously, if you work at a restaurant and Yuni comes in and orders, well, pretty much anything just bring him a salad with low fat dressing. Maybe he'll get the hint.

I thought I ordered the double bacon butter burger with chili cheese fries?
Yeah, that's what this is.
This looks like a salad.
I think I know what a butter burger looks like Yuni! I mean, sir!

Honest thoughts on Prince and if he wants to be in Mil this year.

- olegunnerbryan

PRINCE FIELDER ON/OFF
2006: 28 HR/.831 OPS (off)
2007: 50 HR/1.031 OPS (on)
2008: 34 HR/.879 OPS (off)
2009: 46 HR/1.014 OPS (on)
2010: 32 HR/.871 OPS (off)

Never, ever, ever underestimate the power of a contract year. Prince Fielder is playing for $100 million dollars. Nothing Prince does this season will surprise me. MVP is within reach. He could hit 100 RBIs before the All-Star break. Prince could hit 80 homeruns I wouldn't even blink. Anything and everything is in play for Prince this season. Throw in the Brewers being good and Prince wanting to prove that he's worth this $15 million and more, and this is the most underrated subplot of the season heading into spring training. Let's be honest baseball players want two things: to win and to make money. We're getting Prince on the cross hairs of those two things and it is going to be awesome. Can't wait to see what he does this year.

And it's a "on" Prince year!

Who is your daddy and what does he do? That or now that Zaun is gone which Brewer looks most like a serial criminal?

- Ben

I didn't really know how to answer this one because I don't spend that much time looking at the player's faces until the season starts so I emailed our good friend Tyler Maas who is always checking out "the talent" and he had this to say:

Rickie Weeks. Get mad if you want, but wouldn't it be more racist if I excluded a black player from consideration? I dream to one day live in a world where I can make mean-spirited and outrageous character claims about people of ANY race, religion or ethnic background.

But really, it's probably Kameron Loe.

Well, he does own that giant snake. And he has a python.

(Check out Tyler at Bugs & Cranks where he recently wrote about baseball players with porn names.)

We had not one, not two, but three people in the comments attempt to make the case that Anthony Witrado wasn't awful at his job. Some choice quotes:

the fact is that he is very highly regarded in the sports journalism world

I know this because I'm his mother and that's what he told me.

I’m guessing people have a problem with his professionalism, but even though we might not want to admit it, that’s the future of journalism.

Anthony Witrado: the Rosa Parks of dressing like a tool and bad grammar.

You don’t need a reporter to wear a suit and tie to report baseball.

Agreed, but seriously look at this outfit and tell me it's not ridiculous. I dare you to look at this outfit and think there is anything stylish or cool about it.

You can't.

Jealous much?

Not at all. I know you might find this hard to believe, but I don't have dreams about getting a job covering the Brewers for the Journal Sentinel or working at the Sporting News or Deadspin or anywhere else. I write the blog for fun in my free time when I feel like it. That's why I took two weeks off to start the year and two weeks off in December and almost the entire month of November off and so on. It's my hobby.

I do know people that would though. I've met people through this blog that would kill to have an opportunity to do something like that. People with degrees trying to break in, sportswriters who've been laid off, bloggers who want to do the mainstream media thing; people who for all intents and purposes would do everything and anything to get that job and then go above and beyond every single day to do an excellent job doing it because that's what they'd love to do. Would I agree with everything they said? Of course not. I could disagree with everything single thing they wrote, but it'd be fine if I knew that they were working hard at it. It'd be fine if I knew they cared and that's something that Anthony Witrado never gave us. He never cared or showed a work ethic or even proved that he knew how to spell and that's why we hated him. That's why he sucks.

What's the matter, homie. Did you get turned down for a summer intern job a few years back at JS? Check sportswriting (or,for that matter,all newspaper and magazine writing ) around the country and it ain't much better. If you can do better, then put up or shut up. When I first started reading your blog, it seemed funny and had some intelligent thing to say. Now it's just your own personal little bitchfest: "I hate Ryan Braun", "I hate Ryan Braun's restaurant", " I hate Ryan Braun's clothing line", " I hate Ken Macha"..... ad infinitum. Lastly, I object to your use of the word retarded. I have a family member who was born with Down Syndrome and they are kinder and more intelligent than you are. Anthony Witrado has a job. Do you? Do you have the balls to print this? I doubt it.

Jack B

Did you even read that last paragraph?! Are you retarded?!

I find it hard to believe that someone can judge my kind and gentleness based on a few blog posts. I mean, I don't think this baby deer would say I wasn't kind or gentle.

Or these pandas.

Or even this Mexican.

I mean, it's kind of presumptuous of you don't you think?

As far as the negativity you see around here and the rants or "bitchfests" as you would call them, people think they are funny and seem to like them. That's why we do them. We do that sometimes, but we also do other things. Overall though, I'd say this is one of the more positive blogs around. We didn't wave the white flag until much later in the season than almost everyone else and as far as I know this is the only site that has openly said we think the Brewers are going to win the World Series.

Lastly, I object to your use of the phrase "do you have the balls". I had a dog once that was neutered and he was kindler and gentler than your email could ever be. His name was Barney.

Do you think Mat Gamel would auto a orange parking cone @ Brewers on deck for me, and realize he's a douchebag in the process?

- Ryan

God I hope so.

I couldn't get through this without giving a special shoutout to all the Canadians who took the time to comment on our infamous Brett Lawrie post. To all my Canadian friends I just want to say: Allez ont le sexe avec votre mère, la putain. Eh.

I'm DRUNK.

How can that be, you ask?  This email was received at like 6:45 am or whatever.  Here's the thing:  I'm in American Samoa!  Yeah, that's right.  It's not even 2am here yet.  There's this Samoan beer that only comes in 32 oz bottles and has 6.2% alcohol.  So yeah, that's what I've been up to.

But I used to live in Madison.  That's where I learned to love the Brewers.  But I'm really from Minnesota.  That's right, I'm a Twins fan.  But I'm also a Brewers fan.  WRAP YOUR MIND AROUND IT.  I think I've commented on your blog before about how the main difference between the Brewers and the Twins is that the Brewers' pitchers walk guys all the damn time, and that's not ok if you want to win baseball games.

Anyway, just thought I'd finally say hi.  If you want to read about my adventures in American Samoa, here you go:  ayearinsamoa.wordpress.com

I like your blog a lot.  Keep up the good work.

With all due respect,
Ryan

Did I just have a "yup, these are my readers" moment? I think I did and that seems like a good place to end things.

WORLD SERIES!!!!!!

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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6 comments on “Miller Park Drunk answers your questions

  1. SconnieGirl808 on said:

    I call shenanigans. Bartenders will not win this weekend. They will have to put up with a ton of bullshit, and while they have a strong chance of making bank in tips, it’s only because they will be running themselves ragged. This means the actual tips-to-work ratio is going to be shitty.

    Plus, people seem to find any excuse they can to not tip. “Oh!! My team won – I’m so happy I’m going to buy a round, but later realize I don’t have enough cash to tip on that round, or on anything else I’ve bought all damn day!” “My team lost. I will continue to sit here & drown my sorrows, and because I’m in a pissy mood, I’m going to spread it in the form of not leaving you a tip. If I’m not happy, no one deserves to be happy.”

    Not that I speak from personal experience or anything . . .

  2. Jaymes L on said:

    When did you meet Ruben Quevedo?

  3. Anonymous on said:

    This is for Jack B.
    First you ask “if you can do better?” Of course he could, he knows baseball better then most pro-writers. The posts during the season shows that.
    But my question to you is, “Why do you keep on reading? MPD is all about fun and not being PC.

    Keep up the great writing Mr. MPD and I’m sorry to hear about Barney.

  4. Anonymous on said:

    That baby deer is wicked cute – so are those pandas – you must be a really kind gentle person otherwise those animals would have kicked your ass and ripped out your juggler and laughed while you bled to death.

    I cant wait for fucking baseball – thats right Baseball and fucking are what I’m waiting for…Got some sweet tickets and thinking I may force one of my friends to drive down to AZ for a spring training weekend.

  5. Anonymous on said:

    Ning ya po! As John Lennon would say…

  6. Anonymous on said:

    Is it true that Counsell has a clause in his new contract that allows him to have a sleepover at Miller Park with his junior high pals so they can play video games on the new jumbo tron? I heard the rumor was his parents requested a “strict” chaperon who will make sure Craig is in bed no later than 9:30pm.

    –Cody Badger–

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