The 2012 Milwaukee Brewers season is here and it started with a bang!

No, that won't work.

The 2012 Milwaukee Brewers season is here and the Brewers have come out swingin'!

No, no, that won't work either.

The 2012 Milwaukee Brewers season is here and... yeah, it's here.

The excitement surrounding Opening Day was arguably at an all-time high. Fresh off a division championship and a playoff run that saw them fall just two wins shy of the World Series, the Brewers were set to capture the hearts and minds of Milwaukee again. The roster was different, but in a lot of ways it was better and the expectations were at an all-time high. The Brewers walked into Opening Day with their heads held high and the fans eating out of the palms of their hands. Each and every one of them filled with excitement and ready to begin their quest towards that elusive World Series. The wait was over. The time was now. The second largest crowd in Miller Park history was in attendance for the biggest Opening Day in Brewers history.

They lost 11-5 to the Cardinals.

After beginning the game with a 2-0 lead it was all down hill from there on Opening Day. Gallardo did not look like the pitcher who carried the team in the playoffs. He struggled all day and to make matters worse he apparently bought Ryan Braun's awful haircut from last year. The guys who relieved him didn't fare much better and the offense just wasn't there. Not a good day at the ol' ballpark.

The second game was better, a lot better actually. Zack Greinke pitched like the pitcher that we've always wanted him to be, Rickie Weeks homered, Corey Hart homered twice and the Brewers shut out the Cardinals. It was a near perfect Brewers game, the kind of game we should get on Opening Day every year. (Seriously, would anyone be mad if every team just secretly decided to let the home team win on Opening Day? Who would it hurt?) It was the kind of game that made you think about this team and what they could do and then you feel all special inside. The kind of game that turns your alcohol tolerance to infinity. The kind of game you'll watch on Brewers Classics next winter. The kind of game that makes you love baseball. The kind of game that makes people conceive babies. Seriously, babies were conceived after this game, that's how good it was. I loved this game.

Then on Sunday they got their asses kicked again. I did not love this game. Babies were not conceived after this game. (Partly because a lot of people were watching it with their family during Easter festivities and that would be gross, but still.)

What can I say about these games that needs to be said? I don't really think there is anything. They were just three games. Two of them were bad and one of them was awesome. They told us nothing outside of "holy crap Corey Hart is killing it right now" and "Zack Greinke is so much better when he doesn't get hurt playing basketball before the season." Beyond that I got nothing, but maybe that's just me. Maybe some people are worried and need me to answer their questions to settle them down. Maybe these are their questions right here on the page below us. Maybe I am going to answer them right now.

Should I be worried about John Axford's ERA?


Should I be worried about Aramis Ramirez's OPS?


How about his defense?


Should I be worried about Yovani Gallardo?


Wait, just kidding. No.

What do you think of the guy who played Peeta in the Hunger Games movie?

First of all, I didn't really find him that attractive. At least not how I thought of him in the books and I know they made him seem strong, but he didn't look strong. So basically he looks like a wimp that Katniss could beat up and he's not as cute as the actor playing Gale. Good work, filmmakers. It's not like we're meant to totally fall in love with this person over the next two movies or anything.

Look at this pic and tell me this: if you were the girl in the middle which of the two guys would you go for?


Wait, what does this have to do with baseball?

Nyjer Morgan is 0 for 8. 0 for 8!!!!!!


Should I be worried about Mat Gamel? He's no Prince that's for sure!

You know who else is no Prince? Morris Day and The Time, but that never stopped them from being awesome.

If Gamel can be the Morris Day and The Time to Prince's Prince I will be a very happy man. I will also be a happy man if I can meet Apollonia because my brain doesn't realize that movie came out 28 years ago and I imagine she still looks like she looked down by the lake.

Is Manny Parra bad?

Maybe, but if he is then at least we know right away who our 2012 punching bag is going to be!

But hey, maybe not!

The Brewers are 1.5 games back of the Cardinals! We're screwed!

We play the Cubs this week. Relax.


Look, here's what we learned from these three games and this series: nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The Brewers aren't worse than we thought, they aren't better than we thought and they're probably not as good as we thought. The truth is we don't know. Nobody knows that's what makes it provocative. It's only three stupid games against the stupid Cardinals. I still think they are going to be awesome and this series did nothing to dispel that, but we really don't know. Okay? We don't know. Got it? Know, we don't. I don't know how else to say this.

The only thing I do know is that Rafael Furcal destroys the Brewers. The guy has hits in 14 out of his last 15 games against the Brewers. That's not made up, that's real. What the hell, right?

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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One comment on “Milwaukee Brewers complete three game series

  1. Was @ Sundays game aside from the HRs by Hart & Braun it was sad. What made it really sad was watching 4, (yep I counted) balls zip right past Ramirez oh and having our own hometown announcer call Gonzalez Alex Rodriguez, for TWO at bats.

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