Brewers fans and much of the Brewers blogosphere is going crazy over Nyjer Morgan right now. He's currently hitting .474 with two triples and playing his usual great defense so it's understandable that he has captured the imagination of many Brewers fans. He's a solid player with good speed and he always looks like he's playing hard. (I say "looks like" because pretty much everyone is playing hard, but some people just look like they are doing it harder than other people. Nyjer is one of those guys. Not a knock, just a fact.)
What people are going even more crazy about is Tony Plush. Who is Tony Plush? Tony Plush is Nyjer Morgan's "gentlemen alter ego" that occasionally talks in the third person. Which, I don't know about you, but I think sounds completely normal.
Here's what I know about Nyjer/Tony:
- Tony is a gentleman while Nyjer is a beast. Or maybe it's the other way around. (via Answer Dave)
- Used to play hockey (which would explain the fighting) (via Answer Dave)
- He calls centerfield "Morgantown" (via Answer Dave)
- Also nicknamed himself Real Lowry when he turned 30 "like the Lowry Seasoning. Wit' no MSG — hah-hah-hah-hah!" (via Answer Dave)
- Allegedly went number two in a Gatorade bottle (via Tyler)
- An argument with
EdgeJayson Werth over sprints may have ended his Nationals career (via MLB)
- Talked badly about the Pirates after leaving Pittsburgh saying "Basically the Buccos are a minor-league team for the major leagues" (via Answer Dave)
- Talked badly about the Nationals when he left Washington saying "the way I play, I guess it wasn’t ready for D.C., in my eyes." (via Federal Baseball)
- Had a beat writer say about him "I've never seen a 30-year-old ballplayer who knew less about how to play the game." (via Boswell)
- Plays good defense
- Hitting the ball really well right now
Of all those things, do you know what I care about? The last two. I could care less about any of that other stuff. Tony Plush is funny, sure, but if Nyjer Morgan was hitting .250 nobody would give a crap about Tony Plush. They would just call him by his real name, Mark Kotsay.
If being Tony Plush is what Nyjer Morgan needs to be to play good, then go for it. Act crazy. Wear an Elvis wig. Crap in a Gatorade bottle. I don't care as long as we're winning. Is he just a baseball version of the guy who tells everyone he's crazy? Hey man, I don't care. You know why? Because I'm crazy. I'm crazy, man! Do you think I care? Because I don't. I don't because I am crazy! Probably, but that doesn't really matter as long as he performs. He can call himself whatever he wants
and write all the fan fiction he wants.
Like this one from twitter:
Tony Plush and G.M. Melvin were boarding the plane to go to Pittsburgh. G.M. Melvin said, “Tony, I’m glad you don’t play for Pitt anymore.”
G.M. Melvin smoothed his sweater and went on: “I wish I’d traded for you years ago. You’re great; you’re even better than poutine.”
“No hard feelings, G.M. Melvin,” Plush said. “You did the best you could under the circumstances. But I’m here now.”
G.M. Melvin stood on the tarmac, staring off, distant. Clouds scudded above. Plush thought he saw G.M. Melvin’s eyes welling with tears.
Plush knew he had to break the silence. “Someday, Plush will grow a mustache just like yours. It’s the most rakish in all of baseball.”
G.M. Melvin set his hand on Plush’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you.” Then, in a flash of argyle, G.M. Melvin was gone.
Normally I'd say something snarky about a player writing fan fiction about himself right here, but this actually sounds accurate. "Better than poutine" may be the most Doug Melvin statement ever made.
UPDATE: Well, of course that isn't really Tony Plush's twitter account. Call it wishful thinking on my part to expect the crazy player with an alter ego that talks in the third person to have an equally crazy twitter account for said alter ego.