We are now one month away from Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party 2 and somehow there are still tickets available. I don't know why. It's a great deal and you get to drink with some of the coolest people around (and Tyler.) We're drinking, we're eating, we're playing games and we're giving a ton of stuff away in a raffle. It's going to be a good time. So why aren't we sold out?
Well, I have a theory. You see about a year ago I broke up with my girlfriend and somehow thought writing terrible blog posts would get her back. (It didn't. Thank god.) What I didn't think of at the time was that I sounded like a total pussy and a year later nobody would want to come to my Pants Party because they think I have no balls. Seriously, look at this:
Not trying to get too "inside baseball" here, but the truth is that when you stop being yourself you stop being someone that people like to spend time with. Being "the" Miller Park Drunk all the time was a stupid goal and I've changed in a way where that isn't what I want to do anymore, but that doesn't mean that I want to stop having great times at Brewers games.
(Excuse me I have to stab myself in the eye with a lead based pencil a few times. Be right back.)
I'm surprised I didn't follow-up that blog with one about how I drank too much Pepsi at the game and shit got cray. Or the importance of bringing a healthy balance of fruits and vegetables to your tailgate. SMH!
The dude who wrote that paragraph does not know how to party and I wouldn't want to go to his party either, but I need you to know that that dude is dead. Being "the" Miller Park Drunk is not only an awesome goal, it is the only goal. I go to games and I do stuff like this:
Because I am a frickin' tailgate monster. So when I tell you that Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party 2: Sausage Fest is going to be the best tailgate of the summer I need you to believe this to be true because it is true. I am going to be "the" Miller Park Drunkiest Miller Park Drunk I've ever been. It is going to be awesome and you should come. I mean, have you seen this t-shirt?
Get on this.
PLACE: Miller Park parking lot
TIME: Whenever they let us in the parking lot.
OPPONENT: Pittsburgh Pirates
CHANCE OF WIN: Likely!
- (1) Terrace reserved ticket!
- (1) OFFICIAL Pants Party t-shirt!
- (1) Awesome sticker from ForwardFabrics.com!
- (All) The delicious keg beer you can drink!
- (All) The sausages you can eat!
- (1) raffle ticket for sweet Brewer related prizes!
- Stadium Sauce Bloody Marys!
- Highly competitive parking lot games!
- Intelligent conversation!
- Not so intelligent conversation!
- Beautiful weather (hopefully)!
- Other things that you'll really like!
Get the exact same package minus the t-shirt for $26.