Since May 8th, 36 games, 125 plate appearances, Yuniesky Betancourt's OPS is .382. .382 is Buster Posey's career OBP. Jeff Bianchi continues to rot away on the bench while Runnin Ron plays the single worst player in MLB every day at multiple positions. Fire Ron Roenicke.

yuniallstarLost in the shuffle of Scootermania, Gallardo pitching good again, a 7-3 run, Ryan Braun being caught doing steroids and suspended for 100 games (wait, he wasn't? Then what the hell was Witardo talking about?), Carlos Gomez making people forget about Ryan Braun and the impending tailgate-pocalypse known as Pants Party 3, we've kind of forgot about Yuniesky Betancourt. The last time we checked on him he was doing good things. Playing first base and hitting homeruns, doing "clutch-y" things and we thought, hey, maybe we like him? Maybe he's not the devil because he's not playing shortstop? My actual quote:

When the Brewers brought back Yuni B, it was like seeing your ex-girlfriend walk back through your door. Only instead of the moderately attractive girl you remember she was sporting a neck tattoo that read "SLUT" and a Nickelback t-shirt that barely hid her pregnant belly. And the baby is yours. The Brewers re-signing Betancourt felt somewhat like the worst thing ever, but it wasn't.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist which is to say I was wrong. It was the worst thing ever.

Forget a handful of homeruns early in the season, homeruns that caused the Brewers management to go so crazy that they started the hashtag #YUNITEDWESTAND to get him on the All-Star team. (THE ALL- STAR TEAM, A TEAM OF STARS. ALL OF THE STARS. YUNI. SERIOUSLY.) They were a lie. A small sample size that hid the truth from us. They were Liberace's girlfriends. They were the government's official 9/11 report. Yuni isn't Verbal Kint, he's the Keyser Soze of getting outs.

Go home Vassallo, you're drunk.

Yuni is getting playing time like he's the same dude who hit those homeruns, but just about any stat you can look at shows that he is not. He is actually worse than ever and unlikely to ever get better. Consider the fact that 10% of his flyballs this season have gone for homeruns, a truly awesome stat until you realize that he has the lowest OPS of his career right now. Despite being on pace to tie (or beat) his career high in homeruns, he is playing the worst offense baseball of his career and that's saying something. Yuni has some of the ugliest batting lines you've ever seen. His batting lines are Susan Boyle in a bathing suit. He brings less than nothing to the table at this point and he needs to stop playing. The Brewers would be better without him. They might win like, 40 or 50 games more. Honestly, the Brewers need Yuni as much as a 15 year old's spank bank needs Donatella Versace's nude body.

(Whatever you do, DO NOT google Donatella Versace nude.)

Remember when I used to post that gif of Yuni that said "deal with it"? This one:


I originally meant that as a "well, he's our shortstop and there's nothing to do about it so we should just deal with it" kinda thing, but it doesn't mean that anymore. Now it means "HEY DOUG MELVIN GET RID OF THIS GUY. YOUR STUPID MANAGER KEEPS PLAYING HIM WHEN BIANCHI IS RIGHT THERE. WHAT THE HECK, SERIOUSLY DUDE. DEAL WITH IT ALREADY."

for real.

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

Facebook Twitter Google+ YouTube 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>