Zack Greinke is our savior

December 20th, 2010

I had a crisis of faith this past season. A crisis of faith in baseball, the MLB and it's system, even the Brewers. I just got tired of it all. The playoffs featuring the big spending Yankees and Phillies, the "underdog" World Series champion with a $100 million dollar payroll, the bargain signings and the Fielder trade rumors. I was just tired of it. Tired of thinking about prospects. Tired of going for 85 wins and luck. Tired of myself. Tired of this town.

When the Brewers made their move for Shaun Marcum those thoughts were completely eliminated. I loved the Brewers again. I had a renewed sense of hope that I just didn't feel last year during the offseason. The Brewers were adding someone to their biggest problem that was a significant upgrade over the people he was replacing. This was huge.

I knew that the Brewers had about an extra 30% chance of making the playoffs with Marcum, but it wasn't going to be enough because even if they made it there were still teams with better pitchers. The Giants haven't changed, the Phillies have only gotten better by adding the best pitcher in the league and the Cardinals remain dangerous. There was always a chance, but it was going to be a serious uphill climb.

TheFightins, a wildly popular Phillies blog, closed earlier this year and I remember wondering if we should do the same. An "if they couldn't make it, what hope do we have?" kind of thing. We might have reached our plateau as far as traffic for a Brewers-only blog goes and the Brewers themselves looked as if they might be looking to rebuild if things didn't go their way this year, with Prince Fielder and my man crush Rickie Weeks likely moving on. Maybe it was time for me to move on too and do something else. I thought about it for about two seconds before deciding against it. I just couldn't do it. So, why does that matter now?

Because the Brewers got Zack Greinke! I mean, can you imagine? If we had decided to close this blog we'd be crawling back to you like a guy whose ex-girlfriend just got a boob job. I'd be begging to be let back into your life. BEGGING! I'd (blank) your (blank), man. I would never forgive myself for closing my Brewers blog right before the Brewers pulled off the greatest trade in the history of baseball.

On Sunday morning I woke up and did a "Zack Greinke dance" for about 15 minutes before my girlfriend threatened to record me and put it on the website. (Honestly, there is enough footage of me with my shirt off on this site.) I had to work that day, but all I wanted to do was stay home and write 3000 blog posts.


Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke Zack Greinke

I honestly can't remember being happier about a Brewers transaction in my entire life. I rank finding out the trade was official right up there with the greatest moments of my life. THANK YOU DOUG MELVIN.

Greatest moments of my life:

  1. Son being born
  2. Something involving my girlfriend*
  3. Zack Greinke becoming a Brewer

The point here is that I can't imagine what it felt like to want to close this site or to not like baseball anymore because I love this site and baseball and the Brewers more than anything in my life right now. I just want to write, watch and read about the Brewers every second of every day for the rest of my life. The Brewers are going to the World Series and then they are going to win it. We are about to see the greatest Brewers team of our lifetime. Everything that came before will seem like a joke.

Hey, 1982 what a season am I right? Yeah, what a season... FOR LOSERS! 2011 BITCHES!!!!

Remember when the Brewers traded for CC Sabathia and won the Wild Card? HAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS.

Blah blah blah Pete Vuckovich, Ben Sheets, Jamie Navarro, blah blah blah. ZACK FRICKIN' GREINKE!!!!!!!!!11 *crotch chop*

This is the most wonderful time of the year..

* = in case she reads this. Greinke is totally #2.

Look, I know I am gushing like a maniac here but I have numbers to back it up. Look! The Brewers are going to be awesome.

LAST SEASON (as starter)

Dave Bush: 4.51 ERA (31 starts)

Manny Parra (16 starts) 84.1 58 6.19
Doug Davis (8 starts) 38.1 32 7.51
Chris Capuano (4 starts) 45.2 21 4.14
Jeff Suppan (2 starts) 9.1 9 8.68
Mark Rogers (2 starts) 8 2 2.25
Marco Estrada (1 start) 3 2 6.00
Brewers #5 starters 188.2 124 5.92

That's Dave Bush and 33 average to mediocore to are-you-f'n-kidding-me starts from six different pitchers. Next season those starts will be filled by Zack Greinke and Shaun Marcum. I have to type that again to accentuate my point.


Shaun Marcum
2010: 3.64 ERA (31 starts)
2011 Bill James projection: 3.77 ERA (31 starts)

Zack Greinke

2010: 4.17 ERA (33 starts)
2011 Bill James projection: 3.57 ERA (33 starts)

I mean, this just shouldn't happen. We're talking about literally hundreds of runs the other team won't score next season. HUNDREDS. I'm no math expert, but the Brewers should be projected for something like 1800 wins next season and that 's not even including the fact that:

Prince Fielder is in a contract year!

Marcum and Greinke are moving to the National League!

Greinke just won the Cy Young two years ago with a 205 ERA+!

Ryan Braun still exists and is going to be happier in 2011!

2011 is the year of the Rabbit and Rabbit years are known to be quiet, positive and inspiring just like the Brewers!

I... I can't even handle this. We'll talk later.

(Until then, suck it Cubs fans.)

Only $14!

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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14 comments on “Zack Greinke is our savior

  1. I renamed my roommate’s dog Zack Greinke. My roommate didn’t understand until I explained in great detail the joyous event that took place and how amazing it all is.

  2. Anonymous on said:

    I hear Zack Greinke sleeps 8 hours a night! …Well he’s pretty normal when it comes to that.

  3. Anonymous on said:

    We got Greinke
    I got WOOD!
    I win!

  4. Liquid courage on said:

    Yea, for He is the Light, and the Way.

  5. Anonymous on said:

    Your enthusiasm is totally shared here. I think there is a chance conversations about shortstop and centerfield will be postponed until after this pre World Series ticker tape parade.
    In reality, whatever happens during the regualr season 2011 and beyond will be an added bonus. Who woulda thunk Christmas 2010 could be the highlight of the 2011 season?
    Your wrestling with payrolls, Fielder trades, and the proverbial prospects is the stuff fans are made of. Kudos! Yeh…Kudos to you!
    Hot damn! That simple mantra sound Greinke Gallardo, and Marcum..
    Greinke, Gallardo, and Marcum Greinke, Gallardo, and Marcum Greinke, Gallardo, adn Marcum….it rights my ship and I am not a happy person to begin with.

  6. Anonymous on said:

    Doug Melvin is magical… (and that)

  7. Anonymous on said:

    Thank God Miller Park Drunk will roll on.

  8. Citizens Bank Park Drunk on said:

    I am not sure this wasn’t a B-Day present for MPD from Melvin himself. Happy Birthday MPD. Do a shot for Grienke and your B-day for me. Then maybe 10 more for good measure.

  9. Brown Out on said:

    I can say with a heavy heart that I too had a crisis of faith with the Brewers last year too. I guess that it started with the opening home series and having to sit next to a group of Cubs fans at Miller Park getting drunk on three beers while wearing turtle necks under there Cubs jerseys. To say this was the most offensive part about them may be only true to the close second of their mouthy girlfriends thinking that things in Wisconsin work exactly like they must in that flat wasteland they live in. By the way they were running their mouths you would think Illinois is a crazy land where you can say whatever you want to whomever you want. While the display they put on didn’t cause me to be physically removed from the stadium because, I am not 20 anymore, and don’t get drunk like an prom date after three drinks, it really made me question driving from Madison to see the team I love.

    I went on through only slightly more motivated to watch the Brewers crush the Cubs and devastate yet for them. Next is a revelation about mid-season. I don’t know why it took me this many years to figure it out but Cub fans are the hippies of the MLB world, and is there anything worse than hippies? Hippies. Is there anything worse than a Hippie? I realized that the same people (Cubs fans) that had been talking trash to me all winter about how the Cubs were going to railroad the Brewers and this and that suddenly didn’t care. What? You don’t care? “Yeah that’s what they do” they said. Wait, what? You can’t just go from a world class A-hole smack talking D-bag to a fun loving flower child that understands that things like this happen. That’s not how it works. Classic Cubs fans.

    The most demoralizing thing about the entire season though was watching the starting pitching go five innings and destroy the pen every night. Night after night. Watching a team that used to be so full of life, un-tucking their jerseys only a moment ago now didn’t really care enough to put a full effort into a game. The Brewers down the stretch played soul crushing baseball for any fan that follows the team to the extent that I do. Watching Brewers hitters getting plunked sometimes twice in a game and pitchers doing nothing about it. Have some self-respect.

    But now I have been cleansed, Zack MF Greinke! I forgive you all, except for the Cubs fans. The Brewers will be awesome again and so will I. I will be there shoving so much awesomeness up your balloon knot Cubs fans that you very well might explode. That is until June when you inevitably give up on 2011. From now until June the state of Illinois can tongue kiss my B-hole! Suck it everyone.

  10. Anonymous on said:

    It’s like I am a 5 year old girl on Christmas morning…and Santa hust left ma a pony.

  11. Anonymous on said:

    best. thing. ever.

  12. Anonymous on said:

    I fear Brown Out. I’m a hippie brewer fan. I love the gang and I love Greinke. I love beer. And I love Rickie. But most of all, I love the Brewers and next summer is going to be great! I’m gonna wear my new “You got Wood…We got Greinke t-shirt and I’m gonna get drunk and I’m gonna have more fun then I’ve had since ’08.

  13. Anonymous on said:

    * Ha

  14. Pingback: Check you later Zack Greinke | Miller Park Drunk

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