Hey Milwaukee, how's it going man? Alright. It's your amigo Barry Zito here and I just want to holler at you for a quick second here about Prince Fielder, alright. Last season Prince Fielder sent some serious bad vibes our way with his walk-off homerun celebration and a lot of us Giants are still pissed about it, bro. That was really bad karma and we just didn't appreciate it, man. We were in the midst of a playoff race and just tryin' to keep on winnin' man, w-i-n-i-n.
/takes off shirt
We weren't happy about the loss and I didn't really like havin' it thrown in our faces. Since I am starting against the Brewers today some people want me to throw at Prince, but that's not really my style man. I'd just assume keep a little change in my pocket and not get suspended.
/talks about what's under the hood
I went up to Guillermo Mota and asked him if he wanted to throw at Prince, but he said no. It'd be a lot cooler if he did.
It kinda makes me wish we had a guy like Todd Coffey. I bet he'd throw at Prince for me. He oughta ditch the geeks he's in the bullpen with now and get into ours, but that's alright we'll worry about that later. That Coffey, he's good shit. I love those redheads, man.
/hits on underage girl
I'm probably not going to take part in any retaliation today anyways, man. It's not really Zito's style if you catch my drift. And Rick Peterson really did a lot for me, man. I been thinkin' about listening to my pitching coach out here, but on the other hand I don't really wanna spend my time listenin' to some dipshit who doesn't know what the hell he's talking about anyways.
/listens to "Low Rider"
Before I go I just want to give y'all Brewers pitchers a little bit of advice, man. Rick's probably telling you about bio-mechanics, staying drug free for mental stability and a bunch of other mumbo jumbo, but it's the same bullshit he tried to pull in my day man. If it aint that, it's some other choice he tries to make for you. You gotta do what Randy Wolf "Mother" wants to do. Let me tell you this, the older you do get. The more rule he's gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, l-i-v-i-n.
/buys Aerosmith tickets.