Wake up, Wisconsin

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure I'm still hung over from the weekend. That's okay though, nothing a beer in the shower can't fix (I'm only kidding (sort of). Today is a pretty big day for me because it's the first day season ticket holders get to buy extra tickets to games! I really shouldn't be this excited to spend a few hundred dollars on things that I won't get to use for a few months now, but what can I say I love going to that place.

In case you're like me and drop off the face of the Earth on the weekends, here's what you missed.

• Corey Provus is Bob Uecker's new partner: Previous experience includes the 5th inning for the Cubs, Alabama-Birmingham football, basketball and baseball games. So, you know he's qualified.
• Whitest teeth on the team to miss four to six weeks, says two: Seriously, have you seen Bill Hall's teeth? His teeth are so white they should be named Hunter.
• Corey Hart takes the Brewers to court: I'm on the team's side here. An OPS+ of 16 during the final month of the season in a playoff race and a .231 BA with O XBH does not deserve that big of a raise. It is unknown if Judge Judy will handle the case.
• Brew Crew Ball take on lineup construction: Ideal lineup has Prince leading off, followed by Ryan Braun batting 2nd through 8th.
• There is something wrong with Derek Jeter's shorts: And my eyes. My poor eyes!
• Umpires still blind, not as stupid: Reading braile has always seemed like it would be really hard.
• Introducting A-Rod* Stadium* at* The* University* of* Miami*: The asterisks on the "at", "the" and "of" are just in case. You never know these days.
• Cubs fans pretend they know how to drink: Not mentioned in the article is the fact it took them 81 games to amass that many beer cups.
• Unbelievable story out of spring training: Fundamentals? We're talking about fundamentals? FUNDAMENTALS!

I've got about a half hour until tickets go on sale, so I have to run off and prepare. These links should keep you occupied for awhile. We should be back later, so stay tuned.