Wake up, Wisconsin

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure I'm still hung over from the weekend. That's okay though, nothing a beer in the shower can't fix (I'm only kidding (sort of). Today is a pretty big day for me because it's the first day season ticket holders get to buy extra tickets to games! I really shouldn't be this excited to spend a few hundred dollars on things that I won't get to use for a few months now, but what can I say I love going to that place.

In case you're like me and drop off the face of the Earth on the weekends, here's what you missed.

Corey Provus is Bob Uecker's new partner: Previous experience includes the 5th inning for the Cubs, Alabama-Birmingham football, basketball and baseball games. So, you know he's qualified.
Whitest teeth on the team to miss four to six weeks, says two: Seriously, have you seen Bill Hall's teeth? His teeth are so white they should be named Hunter.
Corey Hart takes the Brewers to court: I'm on the team's side here. An OPS+ of 16 during the final month of the season in a playoff race and a .231 BA with O XBH does not deserve that big of a raise. It is unknown if Judge Judy will handle the case.
Brew Crew Ball take on lineup construction: Ideal lineup has Prince leading off, followed by Ryan Braun batting 2nd through 8th.
There is something wrong with Derek Jeter's shorts: And my eyes. My poor eyes!
Umpires still blind, not as stupid: Reading braile has always seemed like it would be really hard.
Introducting A-Rod* Stadium* at* The* University* of* Miami*: The asterisks on the "at", "the" and "of" are just in case. You never know these days.
Cubs fans pretend they know how to drink: Not mentioned in the article is the fact it took them 81 games to amass that many beer cups.
Unbelievable story out of spring training: Fundamentals? We're talking about fundamentals? FUNDAMENTALS!

I've got about a half hour until tickets go on sale, so I have to run off and prepare. These links should keep you occupied for awhile. We should be back later, so stay tuned.