Roy Halladay was more or less put on the trade block this week. Trading for Roy Halladay would definitely shut Braun up and fulfill the dreams of many fans. The Brewers would basically trade for the best pitcher available, one of the top 5 pitchers in baseball, two years in a row. There is no way they can do this without it having a serious effect on the future of the team. Does that mean they shouldn't do it? That's hard to say. With Halladay locked up for next year too, we immediately become contenders this year and next. Make no mistake about it, this would be as close as we'll ever get to trading for CC two years in a row. This trade is like that last shot you take at bar time. It's AWESOME and it might get you laid, but holy cow you will regret it later.
Me? I love Roy Halladay. He's been one of my favorite pitchers since I had him in fantasy baseball three years ago. ERA+ isn't a perfect stat, but Halladay hasn't been below average since the year 2000. He's been an above average starter since before Miller Park opened, think about that. He is crazy, crazy good. NINE COMPLETE GAMES! Plus, I love doing things that are mind blowingly awesome that end up coming back to haunt you later. That's why I have a kid.
But as Rob Base has taught us, it takes two. Halladay has a no-trade clause and he'd have to be convinced to come to Milwaukee, but we think we can take care of that for you.
Roy might say: I don't want to leave my teammates.
We would say: Hey, I'm sure that your teammates are a great bunch of dudes. I am sure they are probably the greatest teammates you've ever had in your life, but let me just say one thing to you Roy and then you can decide what you want to do: Mike Cameron. Have you ever met anyone that doesn't like Mike Cameron? Ever? I was just talking to Mike Cameron the other day and he told me that he has a personalized high-five designed for you that he's just dying to show you.
Roy might say: I really love the city of Toronto.
We would say: Hahahaha, good one.
Roy might say: I think I can carry the Blue Jays to the playoffs and possibly the World Series. Winning a World Series is my ultimate goal and I'd love to do it here.
We would say: You want to win the World Series Doc? I got two words for you: National League. It's awesome over here man. No Yankees, no Red Sox, no Rays and then we got this team called the Cubs who if they make the playoffs are GUARANTEED to lose. You'll love it here. We could probably make the playoffs without you while the Jays are likely to finish a distant fourth place in their division. Honestly, we're doing this for you.
Roy might say: I am really dedicated to the Jays fans. They are great.
We might say: You think the Jays fans are great? Let me tell you about Jays fans, they are drunk. All the time. Now, let me tell you about Brewers fans. They are drunk. Most of the time. See the difference? Are you really going to tell me that you prefer people who are afraid of the dark (How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb? What oh no, the lightbulb is out I'm scared) getting drunk on Molson over people with unhealthy fried food obsessions getting drunk on Miller? Really? Here's the thing about Jays fans, they will ditch you as soon as hockey season starts. Milwaukee doesn't even have a hockey team.
Roy might say: I can't imagine myself being traded.
We might say: I understand that, but you're forgetting one thing: the full page ad in the local newspaper. Nothing says "I just got traded" like taking out a full page ad in the local newspaper thanking your fans for their support. All the cool guys are doing it.
Roy might say: I'd rather be traded to Philadelphia.
We might say: What are you, nuts? Have you seen this video? This guy thinks he's celebrating a World Series victory.
Roy might say laying in Milwaukee might conflict with my beliefs as a Mormon.
Tags: awesomeness, bar time, Baseball, braun, brewers, carrie, celebrities, celebrity, city of toronto, complete games, contenders, cows, Cubs, dreams, drunks, dudes, fan, fantasy, fantasy baseball, game, Games, hes, holy cow, love, mets, Mike Cameron, Miller Park, milwaukee, mistake, mom, nuts, pitchers, ramblings, reds, rob base, roy halladay, stat, teammate, teammates, victory, video, Yankees, year 2000