Curious story out of Pittsburgh yesterday. When Jason Kendall was interviewed post game he called Pirates pitching coach Joe Kerrigan by a different name.
"It was fine until Dave Kerwin," Kendall said, referring to Kerrigan. Kendall continued to call Kerrigan by that incorrect name -- seemingly on purpose -- even after being promptly corrected.
"I can take a lot, but I'm not going to get yelled at," he continued. "Dave Kerwin started yelling at me...."
When asked what he thought made Kerrigan so mad, Kendall responded: "I don't know. Dave Kerwin? I have no idea."
Now, it's clear to me that he is talking about Joe Kerrigan but in an attempt to undermine him is calling him by a different name. People do this all the time. Sometimes when I am mad at my friend Emily I call her "Smemily". If I am upset with my friend Jeff I call him "Jeffrey". Whenever my ex makes me mad I call her something that rhymes with "pilthy chucking door". This makes sense. What doesn't make sense is the name Jason Kendall chose.
It doesn't rhyme with Joe Kerrigan. It doesn't kinda sound like Joe Kerrigan. It doesn't even resemble Joe Kerrigan. If Dave Kerwin and Joe Kerring were both waiting for a table at a restaurant there is no way they would confuse whose name the hostess was calling. With that being said, my theory is that Dave Kerwin is someone who has wronged Jason Kendall in the past. You'll often hear Jew-haters referred to as "Hitler" by those who don't like them. Could "Dave Kerwin" what Kendall refers to Kendall haters? (And if so, isn't there a little Dave Kerwin in all of us?)
But who is Dave Kerwin? Could it be this blogger? A blogger who "is dedicated to noting God's movement in my life and my random nonsensical thoughts, enjoy!" Judging by Kendall's at-bat music I could see this being a problem.
Or could it be this 99 year old from Portland, Oregon Dave Kerwin on myspace who claims that "If you're not friends online, you're not friends in real life." Could Kendall have sent him a friend request that was never answered?
Could Dr. David Kerwin be the problem? It's possible that these two crossed paths when Kendall played for the A's and a wait time 30 minutes over the national average is something that would surely drive someone like Kendall off the wall.
Perhaps Kendall meant David Kerwin, Hollywood producer. I've seen A Guy Thing and honestly, f that guy.
After reading over the facts and weighing everyone's case I have come to the conclusion that none of these people are the Dave Kerwin that Jason Kendall is referencing. In fact, there is no Dave Kerwin. Jason Kendall is just another baseball player who isn't funny. Shocking right? He seems like such a riot.