Outside of my man-crush Mike Cameron hitting two home runs and my buddy Jeff snagging a Prince foul ball that nearly broke his hand, I don't really have much to say about yesterday's game. It was not that good of a game and there were WAY too many Cubs fans. (I guess stubhub having Loge Infield for $9, Bleachers for $1 and Terrace Reserved for $0.50 is too much for some Brewers fans.)
Whatever, I don't want to talk about it. I want to talk about beer, man. I love beer. It's so good and cold and makes you feel funny. It makes girls prettier and people think I'm funnier when I drink it. It makes $70 purchases at the team shop seem okay. I'm convinced that Ken Macha is drinking beer most of the time because I think using Corey Patterson in any situation would seem like a good idea if you were drinking beer. Beer is so cool.
The thing is I go to enough games that I know the best way to drink beer. The best places to get it and everything else. Here's a little guide about it.
Miller Park Drunk's Guide to Drinking Beer at Miller Park
Know your prices
Consider this, the beer sold at the food stations and the beer the vendors sell is $6.75 (MGD or Miller Lite) for 12 ounces. In an alternate universe (like say, Boston) this could probably be considered a good deal. However, what most people fail to realize is that the "beer only" vendors that are next to the food stations sell 16 ounce beers for $7.50. I did the math and you are paying $0.10 less per ounce. Not too shabby when you are drinking 15 of them.
I know that it's hard to get out of your seat or to make a second stop after getting an order of sweet, delicious cheese fries in a helmet, but it's worth your time. For the mathematically inclined 3-16=4-12 and extra $4.50 in your pocket. I feel like you guys should know these things.
We all know about the Leinie's sold throughout the stadium in the "specialty beer" locations. Their selection is decent, but it doesn't really do much for me. The more you look though, the more you can find. Friday's has the beer created specifically for me. Horny Goat is now available. Friday's Front Row has a wide selection of beers by New Glarus, Guiness, Labatt, lots of seasonal stuff, Hacker Pschor and others. There are some local Lakefront Brewery stuff around (at least I think they still are). If you can't find a beer you like, you don't like beer.
If you're really cheap, Friday's Front Row (outdoor, unsure about indoor) usually sells Old Style for the low price of $4.00 but I really don't recommend it. I'd hate to see you turn into Chad.
Seriously, if you're that cheap just drink MORE outside. The idea is to fill up so even if you want to drink more, you can't. It's awesome.
Designated drivers are your friends. Do them a favor and drink so much that you tell them you love them over and over with an outline of reasons why two of which shall be repeated over and over.